Directed by Fred F. (EARTH VS THE FLYING SAUCERS) Sears, written by Samuel Newman and Paul Gangelin, starring Jeff (THIS ISLAND EARTH) Morrow, Mara (THE BLACK SCORPION) Corday and Morris (GIANT FROM THE UNKNOWN) Ankrum, produced by Sam (ZOMBIES OF MORA TAU) Katzman.
Let’s just appreciate the space beast’s cheap wonderfulness!
Check out those giant claws…
Jeff Morrow plays Mitch MacAfee, a civil aeronautical engineer who spots an unidentified flying object near the North Pole. Fighter aircraft are sent to chase the object, but one of the jets goes missing and officials believe it was all a hoax. But then more aircraft disappear and it is eventually discovered that the ‘UFO’ is actually a gigantic alien bird…
US one sheet poster
…and this is all we really need to know about the plot, right? It’s about a giant space buzzard attacking Earth!
It’s building a giant nest!It’s laid a giant egg!
Watch out, dude!
Okay, it’s hard not to poke fun at a movie that boasts a monster that is, well, a shoddy marionette with bulging eyes and flared nostrils!
It’s just so stupid looking!
It’s also hard not to snigger when the movie’s characters repeatedly describe the critter as being the size of a battleship! They say it so often!
Don’t ya just love its dopey features?!
And yet… I like the mad imagination of this film.
The filmmakers actually made a movie focusing on an enormous space bird that is from an antimatter galaxy that has an antimatter forcefield to protect it from bullets and rockets! That’s insane! It’s such a preposterous and absurd concept that you just have to wonder how the hell the plot got the green-light to be made.
But thank goodness it did!
The Giant Claw wrecks planes!The Giant Claw smashes-up New York!
The batty, tatty, bent-beaked behemoth gets a lot of screen time and, as a monster movie fan, I appreciate this!
This scene, where a photo of the beaky beast is shown on a screen, made me laugh out loud!
What adds to the film’s enjoyment is the fact that the concept is so utterly loopy but Jeff Morrow takes the whole thing very seriously. So let’s spare a moment to respect Jeff for his professionalism!
Jeff Morrow deserves our undying respect
It has a beak… with teeth!
Here are some yummy posters for the movie. The artists pretty much never want to show what the bird monster’s goofy face looks like! Can’t blame them…
Australian daybill poster
US half sheet – style A – poster
Australian one sheet poster
Italian Locandina poster
US half sheet – style B – posterItalian poster
US insert poster
Italian poster
US six sheet poster
Here’s a pressbook…
‘Winged monster grips entire nation!’
Lobby cards…
Lobby cardLobby cardLobby cardLobby card. I think Jeff Morrow is aiming at the Mexican special FX dudes who built the gimpy puppet…
Some other materials…
VHS cover
An illustration by hobbyist Tracer67
This fan-made poster shows the creature’s face in all its goofy, bent-beaked glory (and even includes lots of drooling saliva too)!
Directed by William Cheung Kei, produced by Tsai-Ching Wang and starring Yun-Peng Hsiang, Yuen Kao, Ping-Ou Wei and Lui Cheung.
An unscrupulous businessman orders his workers to kill loads of snakes infesting a construction site. After a new apartment complex is built there, thousands of snakes return and attack the building’s occupants to get their revenge.
Poster
This Hong Kong-Taiwanese movie features the killing of lots of live snakes and unashamedly shows the deaths in loving detail, so be warned before you decide to give CALAMITY OF SNAKES a watch. If you can stomach these mondo moments of real-life reptile butchery, then the movie certainly delivers on its promise of multiple moments of snake-attack mayhem!
Killed in the bath!
The film starts as it means to go on, with the slaying of various species of snake infesting a pit during the building of a new apartment development in Taiwan, owned by Mr Chang. Ignoring the protests of his architect, Chang refuses to deal with them humanely, ordering his workers to splat the serpents with shovels instead. Chang himself gets in on the act by using a digger to dice more snakes.
Continuing this theme of snake-related nastiness, we then see a live snake being slit open and skinned alive for its bladder at a market. Not too long after this, the snakes start to strike back, as foreseen by Chang’s superstitious wife, beginning with an attack on a construction worker and a call girl… as they have sex!
The film lives up to the promotional artwork for once
Attempting to deter any further snake assaults, Chang’s geeky righthand man employs the services of a snake expert, who sprinkles a powdery concoction of cement, tobacco and sulphur around the place because “all snakes fear these things”. After a rainstorm washes away the powder, the snakes return, so Chang uses mongooses to deal with some of the serpents.
The director obviously believed viewers really, really wanted to watch a lot of mongoose vs snake action, because he presents us with an extended series of close-up mammals-murdering-reptiles shots. This sequence just goes on and on!
It doesn’t end well for many characters in this movie
Realising that he needs more than mongooses, Chang calls in a snake-hunting master, a dude with white eyebrows, who we first see performing some kind of stage show, pulling a snake from his mouth and allowing it to bite his tongue. It is theorised that a boa is influencing the other snakes to attack en masse, so the master sets out to kill it.
Big boss snake
In an over the top confrontation in a storage building, the master fights the large boa, which bites off some of his fingers, leaps about energetically and roars! This is an enjoyably kinetic, fast-moving scene, shot like a kung fu fight, that sees the master use a rope to finally strangle the big snake. The master leaves, assuming his job is done… but it’s shown that there’s another boa lurking around.
Master versus the boa!
The focus of the movie shifts to the newly opened apartment building now, where we are introduced to various characters, including rich, old guys, a precocious child, and a large lady who loves her food. These stock characters, plus more scenes involving the cost-cutting boss and the idealistic architect, give CALAMITY OF SNAKES a vibe reminiscent of 70s disaster movies.
VHS sleeve
There are some incredibly lowbrow comic moments added to the cheesy mix, including a scene where speeded-up footage of the overweight woman eating too much food is intercut with shots of a pig with its snout in a trough, though there fortunately aren’t too many of these ‘funny’ scenes!
The snakes attack everyone in the apartment complex
When snakes start flying up out of the building’s basement level and begin to infest the complex, slithering into lifts and overflowing into lobbies and bedrooms, the actors are soon rolling around the place, with loads of real, writhing snakes crawling over their bodies and faces. The snakes in this movie are obviously treated badly, but the actors don’t fare much better, as an endless flood of real reptiles are hurled at them! I do hope these thespians were paid well enough!
Covered in snakes!
There are a lot of snakes used during this finale, and I do mean a LOT! Entire corridors are deluged with slithering serpents. There are snakes in punchbowls, snakes in the bath, snakes on the reception desk and a tsunami of snakes that spill from a lift!
Snakes in the foyer
Chang, at one point, grabs a samurai sword and the movie treats us to a sequence featuring the slo-mo hacking of snakes, complete with close-ups of the various portions of the decapitated reptiles twitching on the floor.
Snake on the face!
The fire department is eventually called and dudes in snazzy silver boots & helmets come to the rescue, chopping up snakes with fire axes and spraying them with extinguishers. But even the firemen have trouble dealing the second big, roaring boa, forcing them to resort to using flamethrowers! This, of course, gives the filmmakers the excuse to now present us with a multitude of shots of snakes being burned alive.
Flamethrowers!
The boss boa is no pushover, however, especially as it fights like a martial arts master! The critter flies around the rooms, slapping away people with its coils (cue loud, kung fu-style punching noises) and it even hurls a large eagle statue and a drum kit at the firemen, then agilely leaps away from their flamethrowers!
The big puppet beast is finally set alight, whereupon it wraps itself around Chang, then constricts him and immolates him at the same time!
The big boa and nasty Mr Chang both go up in flames
CALAMITY OF SNAKES is an unashamedly exploitative, schlocky, infamous extravaganza that comes across like a mad animals-attack genre film infused with 70s disaster flick trimmings. If you can withstand the many, many mondo shots of snake snuff footage hurled at your retinas (which is kind of hard to do), this is a dumb, fun, subtlety-free, unhinged, revolting-yet-watchable, one-of-a-kind creature feature that you’re not likely to forget in a hurry (for various reasons!)
Directed by Mick (CRITTERS 2) Garris, written by Stephen King, starring Brian (BEYOND LOCH NESS) Krause, Mädchen (THE BORROWER) Amick, Alice (STAR TREK: FIRST CONTACT) Krige, Jim Haynie, Cindy Pickett, Mark (STAR WARS) Hamill and Ron (HELLBOY) Perlman.
One sheet poster
Also known as STEPHEN KING’S SLEEPWALKERS, this is a fun, cheesy tale about a mother & son who are the last of their kind: a shapeshifting species originating in ancient Egypt that feed on the life energy of virgins and, for some reason, are afraid of (and can be killed by) pet cats!
These ancient beings like to consume the life force from virgins!The shapeshifters can be seen for what they really are in mirrors…Ron Perlman loses some fingers!One cop is murdered… with a corncob!
At the beginning of the film we see Charles Brady, the Sleepwalker son, start a new school, where he is charming and friendly, so that nobody guesses he’s actually a werecreature who has regular sex with his mom!
Charles Brady seems like such a nice young man……but he’s not!Mother and son are rather too fond of each otherMommy can get rather catty…
The premise is interesting, but some stuff isn’t explained: why can Charles take the life force from victims but his mother can’t? How on earth can Charles make himself and his car invisible? Why does the previously charming & subtle Charles suddenly become a wise-cracking, campy, cartoony villain halfway through the film?
Splat!
Charles doesn’t like being stabbed in the eye with a corkscrew!
But there’s definitely stuff to enjoy: the full-body werecat creature suits, the goofy early 90s ‘morphing’ special effects, the moments of blood-squirting fun, and the cameos from Clive Barker, Stephen King, Joe Dante, Tobe Hooper and John Landis.
It’s morphing time!
Supposedly Stephen King’s wife Tabitha wrote a treatment for a SLEEPWALKERS sequel, which would have featured a women’s basketball team, but the project never progressed beyond treatment stage.
Sleepwalker monster!
If you are happy watching a movie featuring a cheese-tastic, not-too-deep tale of incestuous werecat beings seeking out virgins in modern America… you won’t be disappointed.
Feel the burn!
Here are some posters…
French posterSpanish posterFrench poster
Some lobby cards…
Lobby cardLobby cardLobby cardLobby card
A publicity shot…
Alice Krige, Brian Krause and Mädchen Amick
One more look at those old school morphing effects…
This slimy, mutant muck gets everywhere!Watch out for the lumps of self-replicating meaty protein!Please don’t step in the mutated gunge
Directed by Allan (PROGRAMMED TO KILL) Holzman, written by Tim (GHOST WARRIOR) Curnen, from a story by Jim (CHOPPING MALL) Wynorski and R.J. (BEASTMASTER 2) Robertson and starring Jesse (SILENT RUNNING) Vint, Dawn Dunlap, June Chadwick, Linden Chiles, Fox Harris and Michael Bowen.
‘Part alien… part human… all nightmare’
Also known as MUTANT and SUBJECT 20, this Roger Corman-produced ALIEN rip-off is lurid, colourful, exploitative and splattery. It uses some of the sets that were featured in Corman’s GALAXY OF TERROR (1981), a film on which James Cameron was the production designer.
Also known as MUTANT
This story concerns space ranger Mike Colby (Vint), who arrives at a research station that is under threat from a mutant organism that has evolved from an experimental life form, known as ‘Subject 20’, that has been created by the group of scientists on planet Xarbia.
SAM-104 (Don Olivera) and Mike Colby (Jesse Vint)
With some oddly edited moments and an okay electronic score, this film presents us with a mutated creature that turns its human victims into lumps of self-replicating meaty protein.
There’s lots of fluid dribbling and dripping about the placeAs the organism evolves, it gains a maw full of big teethVenturing out onto the planet’s surface……they come across this toothsome life formA cocoon-type thingy attached to the rocksA gunged-up and splattery corpse
Obviously aiming at the young male market, the movie has the two female characters, Tracy Baxter (Dunlap) and Dr. Barbara Glaser (Chadwick), taking saunas & showers… even though there’s a monster on the loose!
Tracy Baxter heads for the sauna/sunbed room, which is, of course, an essential feature of all distant research bases!
Dr. Barbara Glaser is rather, erm, underdressed
Tracy and Barbara even try to communicate with the creature whilst wearing very short bathrobes. This doesn’t end well when one of the women gets transfixed by a spiked tentacle. Ouch!
“I know! Let’s try to communicate with the revolting mutant beast whilst wearing bathrobes!”Dr. Glaser gets skewered by the critterTrying to escape the mutant organism!
So is this a classic creature feature? Well, it certainly doesn’t reach the heights of science fiction greatness, that’s for sure, but it manages to be a pretension-free sci-fi-horror flick that is a perfect example of the kind of exploitative, pulpy, gaudy production that got made in the 80s.
And the film definitely scores points for giving us a finale with a difference: we get to see the hero performing DIY surgery on a scientist suffering from cancer, so that he can remove the large tumour… and then feed it to the creature, which then proceeds to vomit itself to death!
Classy stuff!
The creature suffers from terminal upchucking!
Some posters…
French posterUS poster
Some other cool stuff…
Finnish video sleeveGerman VHS sleeveAnother German VHS sleeve
US VHS cover
Newspaper ad
Scream Factory SteelBook cover with artwork by Laz Marquez
Directed by Haruyasu Noguchi, written by Iwao Yamazaki and Ryuzo Nakanishi, starring Tamio Kawachi, Yoko Yamamoto, Yuji Okada, Kōji Wada and Tatsuya Fuji.
‘Even mightier than King Kong!’
Two heraldic-like winged monsters trash Japan in an attempt to take possession of their offspring, which a Japanese expedition has removed from Obelisk Island, the young beast’s volcanic island home.
‘Vast! Hideous! Invincible!’
They’re heading to Obelisk Island…
…where they discover an enigmatic statue
Also known as MONSTER FROM A PREHISTORIC PLANET and GAPPA, this Japanese kaiju movie was made by the Nikkatsu Corporation and has a story that is pretty damn similar to the British giant monster movie GORGO (1961), although this time it is not just one parent that goes looking for their child… it is two adult monsters!
You lookin’ at me?!
These massive, beaked Gappa beasts can fly without flapping their wings, supposedly rocketing through the air at speeds faster than a jet, they blast dozens of planes out of the sky, and they expel heat rays from their mouths.
Rest assured – these critters are really going to smash stuff up until they find Gappa junior.
Mom and pop Gappa glide over JapanThe Gappa monsters contemplate their upcoming bout of destructionBaby Gappa is poked and prodded by humans. Bad humans!Wrecking stuff!
“You know, I’ve decided to quit my job – I guess I’m an ordinary woman, I should stay home, marry an office worker and wash diapers.” (!!) Thus says a woman journalist at the film’s conclusion. Amazing what a country-wrecking pair of prehistoric monsters can do to instil old, conformist attitudes into one of the female characters!
Prepare to fire missiles!
Finally, you’ll be pleased to know, Baby Gappa flies (well, glides) home with monster mom and dad. All together now: “Awwww!”
Effects-wise, the monster suits in this movie are rather stiff, lacking the pliability of Toho’s creature costumes, but if you fancy switching your brain off and watching a colourful time-waster featuring miniature vehicles and buildings getting trashed by suitmation critters that breath heat-rays… this is the flick for you.
Just zappin’ some pesky planes
About the different versions of the film… In DAIKYOJÛ GAPPA, the original Japanese version, a rock & roll theme song called ‘Gappa, the Colossal Beast’ accompanied the opening credits and the ending – and the scene with the monster parents reuniting with their child towards the end of the film had a ballad called ‘Keep Trying, Baby Gappa!’ In all overseas prints, however, the opening and ending songs were removed and replaced with orchestral music, whilst the ‘Keep Trying, Baby Gappa!’ ballad was replaced with an instrumental version.
Gappa-tastic!
Okay, now for the best bit, let’s check out some niiiiiice posters for the movie…
Japanese poster
Italian poster
Czech poster
German poster
Polish poster
French poster
Another German poster (yup, they are using ‘Frankenstein’ in the title, just like for so many other kaiju releases in Germany)
Mexican poster
Some video and DVD covers…
German DVD cover (okay, we all know Frankenstein doesn’t actually feature in this movie…)
US DVD cover
DVD double feature
UK VHS sleeve. The Gappa creatures do not look like that!
US Betamax video cover
Some assorted wonderfulness…
Box art for plastic model kit. It’s remote control too!
Directed by Colm McCarthy, written by Colm McCarthy and Tom K. McCarthy, starring Kate Dickie, Niall Bruton, Hanna Stanbridge, Josh Whitelaw, Therese Bradley and James Nesbitt.
Ignore this rather generic monster’s-hand-in-the-foreground DVD cover design, the movie itself is really good
Grim vistas
Mary (Dickie) is a woman who comes from an ancient, almost mythical Celtic race. She hides out with her son Fergal (Bruton) in a dingy area on the outskirts of Edinburgh, using magic to protect them from a killer called Cathal (Nesbitt), who is also using magic to hunt them down on behalf of the clan Mary ran away from. Whilst this is happening, local people start getting murdered – but is Cathal to blame for these deaths… or is it someone or something else?
Mary, played by Kate Dickie, is a very protective mother, though she definitely has her reasons for behaving this wayA sharp-nailed beast begins to kill the locals
OUTCAST is a British movie that features an interesting mix of social realism (it’s set in a dour Scottish housing estate) and horror/fantasy (the characters from the undefined clan can deploy gritty magic, some of which involves using disemboweled pigeons for divination, runic tattoos, etc).
Some of the estate’s residents ain’t very friendlyVarious tattoos form part of the magic utilised in the movie
The story shows us how Mary, the grim, overprotective mother, is using her magical abilities to hide her teenage son Fergal from the people trying to track him down, whilst also revealing how Fergal starts to become tempted to step away from his isolated way of life, so that he can begin a relationship with a local girl called Petronella (Stanbridge).
Fergal becomes fed up with living a life of isolation…
…and he becomes very close with Petronella
Meanwhile, of course, lurking amongst the dirty, rain-soaked estate, is a murderous monster… which is finally revealed to be a novel-looking humanoid thing with pallid & veined skin, a thick upper torso, a thin waist and troll-like face. But who is it that is transforming into this creature? You’ll have to watch the film to find out!
Above: two shots of the strange, clammy-skinned humanoid!
This weird being has an almost troll-like visage
I do think that maybe the filmmakers could have explained this down-and-dirty mythology they created a little more clearly, though it could be argued that this kind of tale benefits from the fact everything is left somewhat mysterious and open to interpretation.
‘Beware the beast within’
The film is well worth tracking down (but don’t use a disemboweled pigeon to help you find it, okay?)
Cathal is assaulted by the man-monster, which has pale, moist, veined skin
The special effects for the critter are without doubt on the low budget side, but the monster makes up for it with its rather unique look
Directed by Stephen Traxler, written by Stephen Traxler, starring Alan Blanchard, Judy Motulsky, J.C. Claire, Dennis Falt, Mello Alexandria and Win Condict.
Poster
Slithis on the rampage!
Over in Venice Beach, California, a marine monster starts killing dogs, before going after people, but the local cops doubt that it actually exists. A journalism professor (Blanchard) starts looking into the murders, helped by Dr. John (Claire), and he discovers that the weird critter may actually be linked to nuclear waste…
It’s Slithis!
Red, red blood…
Also known simply as SLITHIS, this flick was shot in 12 days on a budget of 100,000 dollars. There was a “Slithis Survival Kit” offered at drive ins!
The Slithis Survival Kit!
Radiation can be bad for you
The thing is, this man-in-suit creature feature could have been a 70s schlocky classic if more time had been spent on the monster attacks instead of focusing so much running time on the protagonist’s drawn-out amateur detective work. Oh well. There’s also one of the all-time worst pieces of ham acting courtesy of the actor playing a police lieutenant!
Slithis is attacked with an anchor!
But, you know what? I do kinda like the shambling Slithis monster (played by Win Condict) when it is actually on-screen. The funky fella is a kind of bulky gill-man with suckers in its mouth and a dorsal fin on its humped back.
Slithis attacks again!
Slithis ain’t very nice to people…
US VHS sleeve
Director Traxler went on to handle production supervisor duties on movies including WATERWORLD, INVASION USA, GLEAMING THE CUBE and DRACULA’S WIDOW.
Directed by Teddy Robin Kwan, written by Philip Cheng, Gerald Liu & Yuen-Leung Poon, starring Samuel Hui, Ti Lung, Teddy Robin Kwan, Joey Wong and Bruce Baron.
Ti Lung, Samuel Hui and Joey WongFighting on top of a plane!
Also known as THE LEGEND OF WISELY, the film’s hero, Wisely (Hui), helps a very short mate steal a sacred pearl from some monks in Nepal, which involves lots of acrobatic fighting. Wisely, who is an adventurer-photographer-science-fiction writer, then becomes involved with an underworld boss and his sister.
Poster
A space vessel, with a dragon-shaped head, takes to the sky
The middle portion of this Hong Kong movie is, unfortunately, rather uninteresting, though things get livelier once the action returns to Nepal…
That ain’t really a pearl, kid…
Here we get a monk-burning, humanoid alien, who wants the ‘pearl’ back because it is, in fact, a solar piloting computer for his spaceship. Finally, the stellar vessel bursts out of the side of a mountain, in the (basic) shape of a dragon, and flies the nasty alien home.
The nasty extraterrestrial dude (Bruce Baron) sets monks aflameImmolated monks fall to their doomThat big spike of ice is gonna break, dudes…
The film boasts some decent sets and includes novel action moments, such as a fight atop an aircraft that’s ready to take off, but the mishmash of genre elements, including kung fu, car chases, exotic location-hopping, science-fiction & adventure, doesn’t really come off and, even though a lot of effort was put into the production, the story just runs out of steam, but effects designer Yiu Yau Hung’s fleetingly seen dragon ship is rather nice to look at.
The ‘dragon’ ship flies out of the clouds
Here are some posters for the movie…
Thai poster
A niiiiiiice UK poster
A novel Hong Kong poster
German poster
Some VHS, DVD and Blu-ray covers…
Japanese VHS sleeve
I’m sure there isn’t a Star Destroyer in this film…
Directed by Pao Hsueh-Li, starring Danny Lee, Tan Nei, Lin Chen-Chi and Shih Chung-Tien.
Poster
The hero fights a gorilla skilled in kung fu. You heard me right: a gorilla skilled in kung fu!
Saying that this Shaw Brothers movie, based loosely on the novel ‘Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils’, is off the wall is no understatement…
The pre-credit sequence features the Emperor’s brother sending light beams from his fingers to shoot off the legs of his lover’s husband, Wang Yu Win (names vary depending on which film print you watch): yikes!
Using a finger-beam to shoot at the legs of his lover’s husband!
First one leg is sliced away…
…and then the second leg is shot off!
Twenty years later, Wang (aka Yellow Robe Man) seeks revenge on the man who crippled him, by attempting to kill his foe’s son, Tuan Yu (Lee). Oh, by the way, Wang now has metal, telescopic, clawed bird feet which he can contract and expand for use in battle!
Wang can eject his metal bird feet over long distances with his super-extending tubular limbs!
Wang is aided by his brother, who has dime store fangs, a bald, veined, scabby scalp, a metal crab-type pincer in place of one of his arms and a partly mangled face. At one point this dude pinches a guy in the groin with his pincer, lobbing the victim through the air.
Wang’s brother ain’t pretty
Watch out for his pincer!
Fight!
Tuan Yu is helped by a girl called Ling Ar, who has the power to make snakes glow and bore into people’s bodies, and masked swordswoman Miss Moo, who is revealed to be his stepsister.
One of Ling Ar’s magical, glowing snakes
A cheap-but-colourful set
Tuan Yu wrestles with a giant, red snake that attacks him in the woods. He wins and, because he drank some of the serpent’s blood, he attains the power to fire beams from his hands (like his dad) and the ability, at one point, to run up vertical walls.
Tuan Yu battles the snake in the water!
When Moo and Tuan Yu are thrown into a pit, they are attacked by a kung fu-skilled gorilla (a man in a suit, of course)… and Tuan Yu kills the simian adversary by using a hand-strike to chop off one of its arms!
Kung fu gorilla!
This ape won’t be so happy…
…once he gets his arm chopped off!
Tuan Yu develops even more powers after eating a glowing, green toad. This makes him totally invincible, enabling him to escape the pit.
Tuan Yu, his father and the Emperor, all of whom can fire laser/heat beams, have a final battle with pole-legged Wang and his clawed brother. Tuan Yu, who is now really super-charged, blows the fanged brother’s head off and then blasts Wang, who dissolves in multi-colours onto the floor. Miss Moo also dies, and Tuan Yu rides off with Ling Ar.
Folks have got all kinds of powers in this film…
…including the ability to shoot heat-beams from their hands
Zap!
This oddball production contains lots of optical/cell animated beam/magic effects during the finale and also boasts an oral flamethrower trick: Wang breaths flames onto his foes and, during the last fight, there’s a contest between his jet of flame and Tuan Yu’s red/green hand beams.
The merging of weird storyline, so-so optical effects (Miss Moo fires cartoon darts out of a bone weapon), theatrical, colourful sets, frenzied pacing and a gorilla that knows kung fu does manage to elicit a decent amount of warped respect for this film!
Flame breath!
This isn’t a normal bone…
…it fires cartoon darts!
Some more imagery for the flick…
Chinese poster
German ‘limited edition’
German video cover
One more look at the snake fight…
Sssssssssss!
And, finally, let’s see the villain’s ‘mouth flamethrower’ technique in action…
Starring Sandra Ng, Billy Lau, Cheung Man, Woo Fung, Ann Bridgewater, Suki Kwan, Shing Fui-On and Yuen Cheung-Yan. Directed by Jeffrey Lau for Golden Flare Films Company.
Poster
Female cops go undercover to crack a forgery case and, while they wait to meet up with the counterfeiter bad guy (Fui-On), they stay at an almost deserted apartment block that is haunted by ghosts.
The undead body of the haunted apartment block’s landlady is found in a barrel…
Aka THUNDER COPS, this movie is crammed with very broad, farcical humour, much of it centred around a buffoonish, newlywed policeman (Lau) believing that his cop wife (Ng) is having a fling with her boss, Inspector Shin (Fung).
Ghosts in Hong Kong movies just love blue lighting
Meanwhile, in the ghost-infested building, a monk (Cheung-Yan) captures the various spirits and stores them in drawstring bags covered in Buddhist swastika symbols. These bags are then placed behind a sealed ‘Door of Hell’, but one of the bags is accidentally dropped, enabling the blue-lit female ghost to escape and begin to terrorise the place. Oh, this ghost can be nasty, but also likes to have her toes sucked!
The scared landlady holds a bunch of ghost-filled drawstring bags
The overly slapstick film gives us such silliness as Inspector Shin posing as a cross-dressing pimp, a parody of the slo-mo Chow Yun-Fat corridor moment from A BETTER TOMORROW and a scene where two of the guys take part in a literal pissing contest. The flick properly kicks into gear, however, once the monk returns and everyone teams-up to tackle the nasty girl ghost, who eventually gets beheaded.
Inspector Shin goes undercover
The dumbass cop dude dreams he is Chow Yun-Fat
The headless body is behind you!
Thai poster
But now matters really become strange, as the headless body chases after everyone, as does the ghost’s floating severed head!
The detached ghost’s head lurks by the door
The severed ghost head watches as bad guy Maddy threatens the monk
It takes teamwork to tackle this floating head!
I, personally, wouldn’t stick my finger into the mouth of an angry ghost’s severed head. But that’s just me…
To tackle this flying fiend, the heroes use remote control toy helicopters, equipped with mini-rockets, to chase the gliding head! Yes, you heard that right: we now get a fun action sequence as the yellow helicopters pursue the flying head through corridors and rooms, firing missiles at it!
Everyone has a controller to fly their toy helicopters!
Close-up of the yellow helicopters…
…and each toy is equipped with rockets!Remote-control helicopters pursue the flying head!
The female ghost’s floating cranium is finally cornered by the helicopters as it rests on a table… so the head decides to self-destruct: it explodes!
The ghost’s head lands onto a table and it is soon surrounded by the ‘copters…
…so the ghost head decides to self-destruct, beginning to bleed profusely…
…and the head explodes!
The blood from the head splatters onto the characters, which attracts even more ghosts, who storm into the building, resembling shambling, long-haired zombies.
Maddy helps out the cops at the end, but is killed by the zombie-ghosts
After a farcical sequence involving the monk suggesting that one of the men should be castrated to save the day, the situation is finally solved with the invocation of Buddhist mythological characters, who magically deal with the spirits.
Yes, it’s very weird.
Also known as THUNDER COPS
Devoted to every kind of movie and TV monster, from King Kong to Godzilla, from the Blob to Alien. Plus monsters from other media too, including books and comics.