Crocodile Fury (1988)

Croc attack!
Croc attack!

Directed by Ted Kingsbrook, produced by Tomas Tang, starring Kent Wills, Trudy Calder, Lucas Byrne, Sorapong Chatree, Sun Chien and Jack Mackay.

Lots of people get eaten!
Lots of people get eaten!

Master Cooper, who controls people-munching killer crocs from a golden cave, plans to team-up with Monica (Calder), the blonde sorceress who is running a ‘vampire business’. Together they hope their crocodiles and hopping vamps will take over the world, but agent Bruce Thompson (Wills) is determined to prevent this evil plan from happening.

VHS cover
VHS cover
A grungy-faced hopping vampire
A grungy-faced hopping vampire
Master Cooper dwells on his golden cave, sitting within the skeletal jaws of a croc
Master Cooper dwells on his golden cave, sitting within the skeletal jaws of a croc

OMG! Where to start with this incredibly weird cut-and-paste flick?! Well, here’s just some of the things that occur…
There are multiple crocodile attacks, both in the water and on land, with a high bodycount and much screaming. Monica performs seemingly pointless incantations, at one point causing several fish to spill from a vampire’s mouth, into a fishbowl, which then fly up into a different vampire’s mouth. A levitating dude loses his concentration and falls prey to a hungry crocodile. A guy vomits up maggots. A smaller man-in-suit croc does tricks for villagers. Some of the vampires are of the Chinese hopping variety, whilst others are more like zombie-vamps with green blood. Oh… and the crocodiles are actually the spirits of people who have become reptiles, so they often appear in human form too!

Witch-woman Monica has long, steel nails!
Witch-woman Monica has long, steel nails!

The croc footage stems from a Thai film called KRAI THONG 2 (1985) and the main crocodile, though not exactly a Hollywood-standard animatronic creation, is a pretty serviceable full-size model that munches down on many, many extras. The low tech attack scenes actually possess a pacy verve, as loads of people run, shout and get bitten or carried away. One of the reasons these reptile assaults stand out is because they are never isolated incidents: the various crocs don’t bother waiting around to pick off lone victims, they launch onslaughts against groups of people near their homes or at riverside markets. Most of these attacks involve the actors struggling in the reptile’s jaws, but there’s one particular scene that is quite gory, with limbs being bitten off, and I’m sure actual amputees were cast to portray these legless or armless victims.  

A dude has his leg bitten off
A dude has his leg bitten off
A man tries to pull a victim back out of the croc's mouth!
A man tries to pull a victim back out of the croc’s mouth!
KRAI THONG 2 provided much of the footage for this cut-and-paste production
KRAI THONG 2 provided much of the footage for this cut-and-paste production

It’s a real WTF moment when one of the crocs turns into its human form (a young woman called Maria) for the very first time. It’s revealed that Maria is the deceased girlfriend of a local man called Jack and she says such things as “If you really cared for me, Jack, you’d be a crocodile too, and then we could both be together right away, what do you think?” 

Jack makes a crocodile let go of its latest victim...
Jack makes a crocodile let go of its latest victim…
...and the croc transforms into his dead sweetheart Maria!
…and the croc transforms into his dead sweetheart Maria!

The film focuses more on the crocodile spirits in their human form later in the story, in scenes mainly based in the golden cave, referred to as Sea World. This is the location where two croc-demon guys, one called Donald and the other named Stephen, fight one another, with Stephen hurling small, stuffed-looking crocodiles at Donald! 

Okay, now THAT is what you call a poster!
Okay, now THAT is what you call a poster!

The film reaches dual climaxes, one involving Jack as a croc-fighting hero with a special spear & dagger, the other finale boasting a showdown between Bruce, vampires and witch-lady Monica, who suddenly develops a fake-looking, throbbing belly, from which bursts a slimy human head!

Bruce Thompson versus Monica!
Bruce Thompson versus Monica!
The zombie-vampires leak greenish blood when they are stabbed
The zombie-vampires leak greenish blood when they are stabbed

This dumb, fun Tomas Tang production, often mistakenly credited as a Godfrey Ho film, is utterly batshit crazy, filled with so much incident, including a croc biting the head off a water buffalo, a machine gun assassination attempt, and a crocodile with diamond teeth, that the film actually makes other cut-and-paste epics like SCORPION THUNDERBOLT look like coherent, perfectly normal movies by comparison!

At one point one of the crocodiles glides through the air!
At one point one of the crocodiles glides through the air!

Finally, here’s a behind the scenes shot…

Trudy Calder and Kent Wills
Trudy Calder and Kent Wills

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