Starring Anita Mui, Maggie Cheung, Michelle Yeoh, Anthony Wong, and Yen Shi-Kwan. Directed by Johnny To, with action by Ching Siu-Tung. China Entertainment Films Production/Paka Hill Productions.
Criterion Collection cover
A villainous Evil Master (Shi-Kwan) dwelling in the sewers below a city sends an invisible assailant out to kidnap children, one of whom may be the preordained ‘King’ of China’…
The Evil Master……and here’s what he turns into later!
THE HEROIC TRIO is the gold standard Hong Kong sci-fi/comic book-style super-femmes movie (okay, I know that there were not exactly loads of this specific kind of movie back in the early 90s!)
Fighting and twirling!
Though directed by Johnny To, the film has action director Ching Siu-Tung’s stylistic fingerprints all over it. This is a prestige, sumptuous genre production dripping with lush lighting, large sets and audacious, over the top action moments, spiced up with humour, violence and lashings of manga aesthetics.
It’s the Heroic Trio!
Anita Mui, Michelle Yeoh and Maggie Cheung play heroines Wonder Woman, Invisible Woman and Thief Catcher, in a preposterous yarn about an Evil Master (Yen Shi-Kwan) forcing the Invisible Woman to steal babies in the hope that one will turn out to be the next Emperor of China. Invisible Woman switches sides, after some face-offs with the other two super-babes, and the trio clash with the Master and his roaring, bird-eating super-minion Chan Gau (a fit, agile Anthony Wong).
Anthony Wong plays Chan Gau
All right then, I know that in today’s world one shouldn’t objectify women… but, boy, these three actresses were at their beautiful best here. The late Anita Mui demands the viewer’s attention whenever she’s onscreen, playing the most empathetic of the three and looking great in her silver mask. Michelle Yeoh is always a good reason to watch a movie, and here she gets to play both a (blackmailed) associate of the bad guy and also a hero. Maggie Cheung, as Thief Catcher, wearing kneepads, small black shorts and stockings, gives her character an irreverent, mouthy attitude at first, but she begins to add more gravitas to her role after being poisoned by needles and suffering from guilt after the death of a baby.
Anita Mui is Wonder Woman
Maggie Cheung is Thief Catcher
When I saw this on its release, when Hong Kong films were still at their zenith, it was perhaps easy to take THE HEROIC TRIO slightly for granted, but now I appreciate much more the full-on commitment the filmmakers’ had to producing a colourful, outrageous entertainment, using all the techniques and skills at their disposal, piling on tons of wirework stunts and practical effects.
A fight in the Evil Master’s underground lair
The film features some great sets, including the Evil Master’s subterranean lair beneath the city, where babies lie in numerous bird cages suspended from crisscrossing lengths of chain. There’s also a big train station set, which is rigged so that a full-scale train can be slammed through a wall in a standout set piece action scene!
Battlin’ babes at their best!
The film is full of incident and fun visuals: the Master looks evilly resplendent in a grand costume, Chan Gau goes on a killing spree with a flying guillotine, and Wonder Woman’s cop husband gets to stoically put his life on the line several times. But the main focus is always on the three heroines, who are willing and able to use throwing weapons, dynamite, swords and machine guns to beat their enemies!
Another shot of the Evil Master
With on-the-nose sentimental scenes that work within the heightened, pulpy world of the story, and a mad finale in which the skeletal corpse of the Evil Master latches onto Invisible Woman by entwining around her with his limbs & ribcage so that he can use her like a human puppet to battle her friends, THE HEROIC TRIO may occasional contain action shots in which you can see the wires, and maybe the Invisible Woman is not invisible very often in the story, but who really cares? This is the kind of production that was made by Hong Kong creatives operating at their peak, something you’ll never see again.
The Evil Master becomes a raw-fleshed, skeletal monster!Close-up of one of the living skeletal corpse’s legs!Invisible Woman (Michelle Yeoh) gets grabbed!
If you haven’t seen this film before, track it down and give it a watch!
Starring Bruce Liang (aka Bruce Leung), Shen Ie-Lung, Tang Ching, Alexander Grand, Nick Cheung Lik, Eric Tsang, Lily Foo Lai, Jenny, Bobby Canavarro, Fang Yeh, Wong Mei, Cheung Hei and Yuen Siu-Tin. Written by Chi Lo, and Liang Wei. Directed by Lo Chi and produced by Hendrick Gozali for Goldig Film Company.
Poster!
Bruce Lee dies and wakes up in the underworld, makes friends with some of the nicer folks there, including Popeye and the One-Armed Swordsman, and clashes with other characters, such as James Bond, the King of the Underworld, The Godfather, Clint Eastwood, Dracula, Emmanuelle and Zatoichi!
James Bond!
Emmanuelle!
Dracula!
Aka DEADLY HANDS OF KUNG FU, this is a movie that has to be seen to be believed!
Another poster!
After a caption that reads ‘This film is dedicated to millions who love Bruce Lee’, ENTER THE DRAGON music kicks-in and then the Bond theme takes over, as James Bond faces-off against Bruce Lee! Awesomeness! This film is immensely enjoyable from the get-go, as characters we’ll be meeting in the movie strut their stuff during the extended shot-against-red credit sequence.
We’re then shown Bruce Lee’s body lying in the cavern/throne room of the King of the Underworld (Ching)… and it looks as if Bruce died with a massive erection… but this impressive stiffness turns out to be his nunchucks!
Bruce and his nunchucks…
Lee is played by Bruce Liang (aka Bruce Leung) who, let’s be brutally honest, is probably the Bruceploitation star who looked least like Bruce Lee, and the filmmakers obviously know this, so they have a character comment that, “It so happens when a person dies their face and their body undergo a change.” This explanation must also be the reason why Clint Eastwood, Popeye and Dracula are all asian in this film!
The good guys!
Eric (INFERNAL AFFAIRS) Tsang as Popeye!
Bruce soon comes to terms with the fact he’s dead and that he’s in hell, which pretty much resembles a Chinese town with a small casino and restaurants. There are also some cavern dwellings and a quarry. The underworld’s residents defer to the King, mainly because he has the power to cause earthquakes by shaking a pillar, though a shady cabal led by The Godfather have plans to take over the territory.
Don’t mess with Bruce Lee!
Bruce visits the main town restaurant and encounters Popeye (a youthful Eric Tsang), while elsewhere in the establishment Zatoichi the blind masseur/swordsman catches flies and puts them in his food, so that he can get out of paying his bill. Then Zatoichi, along with James Bond, Clint Eastwood (dressed as the Man With No Name), and a bunch of dudes in skeleton costumes confront Bruce in the restaurant, and Bruce starts to feel sweaty and dizzy, making it easy for Clint to beat him up. Fortunately for Bruce, he’s cared for afterwards by Wa To (Siu-Tin), the doctor to the King of the Underworld, who’s such a good doctor he even helps skeletons! Bruce admits during his convalescence that his Achilles heel when he was alive was that he played around too much and says aloud that he’s sorry to Linda, his wife.
Zatoichi, Clint Eastwood, James Bond and their zombie henchmen (wearing skeleton costumes) confront Bruce Lee!I want my mummy!
What makes this production so enjoyable are all the famous characters added to the mix, with some of them depicting real-life people like Bruce Lee and Clint Eastwood and others representing fictional characters like Popeye, the One-Armed Swordsman, Zatoichi and Kwai Chang Caine from the KUNG FU television show. So it’s great fun when the film cuts to Clint Eastwood, The Exorcist, Emmanuelle, Zatoichi and James Bond hanging out together in The Godfather’s cavern HQ. There’s no rhyme or reason to why some characters, like Bond and Emmanuelle, are played by western actors, and why Clint Eastwood, The Exorcist, etc, are played by asian actors. I guess we just have to remember that ‘when a person dies their face and their body undergo a change’, even when they’re fictional characters like The Godfather!
Clint Eastwood! Honest!
Zatoichi!
The Godfather and The Exorcist! Honest!
Bruce does a little gambling at a casino, but he then tells everyone they should stop gambling because that is probably the reason they ended up in the underworld. He meets the One-Armed Swordsman here and strikes up a friendship with him.
We also get to see some of the naked underworld concubines in a large bath, chatting about Bruce Lee, discussing the Hollywood actors he trained, and musing about how they’d like to go out with him.
Bath time in the Underworld
The movie jumps from obvious sets to obviously real-world locations without attempting to disguise the transitions, mainly when Bruce and other characters dash from the town studio set and end up immediately in a bright exterior quarry location. I think this editing just adds to the hey-we-don’t-give-a-f**k-what-you-think mindset of the filmmakers!
Bruce, dressed as Kato, in the Underworld quarry location
At the quarry Bruce duels with Zatoichi, and each fighter takes turns to use different styles against the other, with the name of each technique superimposed on-screen. Zatoichi uses these styles: ‘Blind Man Finds Way’, ‘Blind Chicken Peaks’, ‘Blind Man Kills Mosquito’, ‘Blind Snake Climbs’, ‘Blind Fool Massages’ and ‘Blind Dog Pisses’! Bruce, meanwhile, uses these special techniques, inspired by movie titles: ‘The Big Boss’, ‘Enter the Dragon’, ‘Way of the Dragon’, ‘Fist of Fury’ and ‘Game of Death’!
Bruce’s ‘Fist of Fury’ technique basically means that he bites his opponent’s leg!?
For a while the movie shifts into sex farce territory, with the King of the Underworld cavorting and playing blind man’s buff in the hot tub with nude women, for no particular reason, plot-wise, other than to show off some attractive nekkid ladies. We also get one of the underworld concubines and the Queen of the Underworld planning to seduce Bruce, which involves them trying to give him a potion to ‘stiffen his resolve’. The foxy Queen even tells Bruce, “Beat me hard with that terrible weapon”! The concubine and the Queen end up forcing each other to drink the potion, however, and they both become scabby-faced hags. Meanwhile, sexpot Emmanuelle meets-up with the King of the Underworld. “You can spank my botty,” she informs him, and she promises to become the King’s wife.
The Queen of the Underworld and a concubine fight over who should have Bruce Lee!
Dracula (Hei) shows up now with his skeleton henchmen (referred to as zombies) and Bruce arrives to take them all on dressed as Kato from THE GREEN HORNET! Bruce gets pinned to the ground by the henchmen, who hold onto his arms and legs, so that Dracula can bend down, ready to bite him… and, suddenly, a third leg shoots up from Bruce’s groin area, booting Dracula in the face, as an on-screen title informs us this style is called ‘The Third Leg of Bruce’! Insane stuff!
Dracula’s skeleton henchmen run rings around Bruce!The henchmen pin Bruce to the floor and Dracula approaches…
Back with Emmanuelle and the King, they have sex in his pink-lit bed. There’s lots of moaning and groaning and Bruce has to intervene to warn the King that Emmanuelle was trying to give him a heart attack through pleasure, and the King muses that, “Her pussy’s in this plot too, she was using it to murder me.”
Bruce is made the new captain of the King’s bodyguards, triggering reprisals from The Godfather’s team, resulting in Bruce killing James Bond and then Clint Eastwood. The Exorcist and The Godfather decide to try and kill the King, who defends himself by creating an earthquake by shaking the pillar, so they then decide to attack Bruce. This fight between Bruce, The Exorcist and The Godfather is very nicely done, in fact it’s thrilling and totally ace, as Bruce finishes off The Godfather (played by a very cool-looking Shen Ie-Lung) by utilising his ‘Fingers of Fury’ technique!
The Godfather puts up a good fight against Bruce!
Knowing that Bruce is angry with him for causing an earthquake that hurt innocent people, the King implores General Cheung Fei to help him rid himself of Lee… so Cheung Fei leads a mob of bandaged mummies to attack Bruce! Popeye, the One-Armed Swordsman and Kwai Chang Caine come to Bruce’s aid and a madcap final martial arts skirmish takes place in the underworld quarry. Popeye gets kicked about… so he eats a can of spinach and the ‘I’m Popeye the Sailor Man’ tune plays as he beats-up the mummies! The One-Armed Swordsman slashes the mummies with his sword and Bruce battles General Cheung Fei with nunchucks! This is excellent stuff, with Bruce finally being granted permission to leave the underworld.
General Cheung Fei, the King of the Underworld, and a bunch of mummies surround Bruce!
Here’s another pic of Eric (THE LAST BLOOD) Tsang as Popeye!
THE DRAGON LIVES AGAIN is a priceless, peculiar pantomime of preposterous proportions. The movie would have been a stand-out Bruceploitation flick solely because of its totally unhinged storyline, but what makes it even better, what provides the exciting icing on the crazy cake, is the fact that the action is really, really good. Bruce Liang may not resemble Bruce Lee, but in real life Liang was a very skilled (and tough) martial artist – and he looks extremely good on-screen in the many fight scenes that were choreographed by him.
Bruce Lee faces-off against Clint Eastwood in that same bloody quarry!
Starring Oksana Akinshina, Fedor Bondarchuk, Pyotr Fyodorov and Anton Vasilev. Written by Oleg Malovichko and Andrey Zolotarev. Directed by Egor Abramenko.
That’s a rather bloody helmet
In 1980s Russia an independently-minded doctor, Tatyana Klimova (Akinshina), is taken to a military base to help with research focusing on a cosmonaut, Konstantin Veshnyakov (Fyodorov), who has formed a symbiotic bond with a cortisol-consuming alien creature living inside him. Tatyana discovers that the alien can exit its host to feed on live human victims provided by the military authorities. Horrified by this revelation, Tatyana sets out to help Konstantin… but is the cosmonaut complicit in what happens to the victims?
The alien is a funny-lookin’ bugger
First of all, you shouldn’t go into this Russian film thinking that it’s going to be a full-on sci-fi-horror flick like ALIEN. This is not a monster-on-the-loose film: it focuses more on the unravelling of what the link is between alien and host, what the military are actually planning to do, how the relationships evolve between the main characters, and so on.
The extraterrestrial has got a whole bunch of eyes
But don’t worry, you do get alien attack scenes too!
I really enjoyed the movie, which is handled expertly by first-time director Egor Abramenko. The musical score, by Oleg Karpachev, is very good too, adding to the tension.
A leaping, long-limbed critter!
SPUTNIK is definitely worth a watch, with a story that works really well, with interesting reveals happening as the plot progresses.
Starring Don Scardino, Patricia Pearcy, R.A. Dow, Jean Sullivan and Peter MacLean. Written and directed by Jeff Lieberman. Produced by Samuel Z. Arkoff, Joseph Beruh, Edgar Lansbury and George Manasse.
Lobby card
Downed power lines in Georgia turn bloodworms into killer critters that begin to chow down on the local rednecks!
He’s full of worms!
US one sheet
Japanese VHS sleeve
SQUIRM is a cool example of the 70s trend for eco-horror/animal attack movies. The two young leads (Scardino & Pearcy) are likeable and, between the worm scenes, they try to figure out the identity of a missing skeleton in a SCOOBY-DOO-style mystery-solving fashion.
Worm-alanche!
There are lots of shots of real bloodworms, which look gross when filmed close-up: they really do resemble mini-monsters! In this movie these worms scream too! Yes! Screaming worms! And they like to dangle from the shower as well!
They’re in the shower!
There’s some fine early makeup work by Rick Baker to look out for (and Rob Bottin was an uncredited assistant makeup artist on this production too). The ‘worm-face’ scene is great, revelling in shots of a character who has bloodworms crawling beneath the skin of his face! He yanks at the worms, trying to pull them out! These are really neat-looking practical effects! Rick Baker really shows here that he was a makeup effects expert worth keeping an eye on.
Bloodworms beneath his skin!Wigglin’ worms!
The ending is a nice merging of creepy house thriller & critter attack genres. It’s during this finale that the film comes up with its most impactful image; a man becoming submerged in a sea of worms that fill the room! If you don’t like worms you will not like this scene (or the movie)!
Lobby card
This is an enjoyable, wriggly, writhing, creepy-crawly, low budget, well-handled creatures-run-amok B movie that keeps you entertained throughout: it’s squirm-tastic!
Here are some posters…
UK quad poster. Art by John Stockle
Australian daybill poster
US half sheet poster
Italian poster
German one sheet poster
A proposed design for a UK poster by artist Vic Fair
A second proposed design for a UK poster by artist Vic Fair. The actual UK SQUIRM poster was finally drawn by John Stockle
Japanese poster
French poster
Let’s finish with a close-up shot of one of the bloodworms…
Starring Vin Diesel, Jordi Mollà, Matt Nable, Katee Sackhoff, Dave Bautista, Bokeem Woodbine and Conrad Pla. Written and directed by David Twohy. One Race Productions/Riddick Canada Productions/Radar Pictures.
‘Survival is his revenge’
Hard-as-nails macho future warrior Riddick finds himself stranded on a wild, sun-scorched planet, so he is forced to trigger an emergency beacon that attracts two teams of mercenaries, who land on the planet and begin to hunt him. As if taking on these mercs isn’t enough, it starts to rain, and within the wet weather lurk monsters that would really love to eat Riddick!
Eye of the beast
Dave Bautista is one of the space mercs
PITCH BLACK (2000) was a very enjoyable, violent sc-fi-action-monster movie that introduced the world to badass antihero Riddick (a character created by Jim Wheat and Ken Wheat), played to perfection by Vin Diesel. The follow-up flick, THE CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK (2004), wasn’t to my taste. I found it too overblown and sprawling, desperate to be more of an ‘epic’ sci-fi blockbuster. This third film, RIDDICK, is much better, in my opinion, maybe because it tones down the pompous fantasy-science fiction elements of part 2 and concentrates on telling a survival-on-a-creature-filled-planet story, just like the first film. You could certainly argue that RIDDICK’s central concept is very similar to PITCH BLACK’s core plot: one has alien beasties that only come out in the dark, and the other has alien beasties that only come out when it rains. But, hey, I like this monsters-in-the-downpour concept, so let’s move on…
The monsters close-in…
RIDDICK really delivers lots of creature action! Perhaps this movie’s world is a little green screen-ish compared to the real locations used in PITCH BLACK, but this movie does boast a fun bunch of critters!
The creatures come in all sizes
There’s loads of fun stuff to see here, including pincer-tailed Mud Demon predators, hyena-like dog creatures, flying bird-reptiles and eels that live in tepid pools of water. I love the bit where Riddick disembowels a big Mud Demon… which proceeds to eat its own guts!
A winged critterRiddick slides beneath the big Mud Demon, ready to slit open its guts with his bone-mounted blade weapon!
It was a nice touch having Riddick befriend one of the alien dog creatures. Cool!
Riddick and an alien hyena-dogI liked the alien hound!
There’s a last stand-style battle between Riddick and the Mud Demons on a rock outcrop that is also pretty damn cool: it’s almost like a Conan the Barbarian moment! Niiiiiiiiiice.
The last stand moment atop a rocky outcrop
Finally, here are some creature concepts…
The original design for the Mud Demon was done by Patrick Tatopoulos, then Jerad S. Marantz took a pass at the creatures, modelling them in Z brush.
Full body view of the Mud Demon design, seen from different anglesMud Demon head designFront viewDesigns for the Mud Demon pincer-tipped tail!A colour rendering of a Mud Demon
Starring Ma Xinyu, Feng Qilong, Yang Qiyu, Shen Yunzhong and Qiao Yaona, written by Li Wei, directed by Zhao Cong and produced by Xu Yawei.
Okay, I know I often say this, but here I go again: If only the movie was as good as this promo artwork!
This begins in the 1980s, on a newly-discovered island (the ghost island), where we see a T-Rex attack the researchers and guards at an encampment. Loads of bullets are fired at this T-Rex, but it keeps on attacking, and even dynamite does little to slow it down. One particular scientist is shown running about, clutching a dinosaur egg, and then the story skips to the present day (as stories often do in these flicks), and we’re introduced to Zhao (Xinyu), the daughter of the guy-with-the-egg seen in the prologue. Zhao is asked by the despicable Mr Du (Qiyu) to accompany him and his team on a new mission to ghost island, the location of which he has rediscovered by comparing cloud formations on photographs taken at different times (a rip-off of an idea used in the 1976 version of KING KONG). Against her better judgement, Zhao goes with Mr Du and his armed goons to the island. Other team members include Laka, a dreadlocked demolition expert, Sangji, a survival expert, and Yuzi, an attractive, stony-faced, gun-toting she-merc who likes to wear snug-fitting shorts.
Yuzi doesn’t like to smile
Once on ghost island, a member of the group coughs-up blood and dies after a bug flies into his mouth (but these wasp-like bugs are never encountered again), and then a super-gigantic cobra goes on the offensive (of course there’s a huge snake in this movie: Chinese creature features just LOVE to include giant snakes if they get the chance!)
Giant cobra!
A close-up shot of the serpent!
The team are unable to kill this huge serpent with all their firepower, and are fortunately saved when a carnosaur rocks up and quickly bites the cobra in two! The team get away from the reddish-brown predatory dino, which will turn up again later.
The big cobra and the huge carnosaur roar at each other!
An encounter with Velociraptors in an area of long grass happens next, and it is handled pretty well. There’s even a decent-looking full scale raptor prop head used in this sequence, as well as a full-body raptor costume.
The practical effects raptor head looks pretty damn good
The characters eventually reach the island’s open plains, which is populated by Stegosaurs, Triceratops, sauropods, pterosaurs, and other dinos.
Dinos roam the open plainsAll dinosaur movies should include shots of a big skeleton at some point. This movie does just that, so I am pleased!
The quality of the special effects does vary throughout the film, with some of it looking particularly weak. One such example of low quality FX is the reddish-brown carnivore (which we saw kill the cobra earlier) that now reenters the story. This critter moves about with a clunky, awkward gait that is not of a very high standard, effects-wise. But a T-Rex that shows up at this point, with Zhao’s wild-haired father riding on its back, is a better example of the CGI, boasting a more impactful body design and good skin texture details. It turns out that Zhao’s dad has raised this T-Rex from the egg he was carrying about, and now the dino is his loyal pet! This is a fun, goofy idea, but the filmmakers waste the opportunity to show lots of dino-riding action, and simply have the dad tell the T-Rex to chill out while he joins the team, as Mr Du searches for a special meteorite.
The wild-haired father’s pet T-Rex is hurt after a fight with the reddish-brown carnosaur……but it gets back up: the pet T-Rex is okay, folks! Yay!
The explorers reach a hot, volcanic landscape, dotted with jets of flame, which is the location of the meteorite. Mr Du wants to blow this hunk of rock up (presumably because it contains valuable minerals), but Zhao’s father says that the meteorite’s magnetic field is related to the life of the entire island, so if the rock gets destroyed every living thing on the isle will perish. So, after a raptor attack, the team members inevitably split into two factions, as some try to protect the meteorite, and others attempt to blow it up.
Raptors in the volcanic zone
The orange-hued, fiery zone, where this finale takes place, is quite stylised and theatrical-looking, exuding a more fantastical, cinematic vibe (compared to the naturalistic locations used elsewhere), and it definitely suits the pulpy requirements of this lost world film. So it’s a shame that it is used as the setting for a protracted hostage standoff situation, with Mr Du holding Zhao at knifepoint, which is all rather anticlimactic. We do get to see the pet T-Rex again, though, at the very end, as the survivors wait on the beach to be rescued.
Chillin’ on the beach with the pet T-Rex
As the film fades to black, some copy informs us that Laka, Zhao and Sangji were sentenced to six years in prison for breaking the local law. But could someone please answer this question for me: how the hell does a lost, prehistoric island happen to have its own local law?!
Chinese monster movies like to include Asian Lara Croft-types in their stories!
Starring Hermione Corfield, Dag Malmberg, Jack Hickey, Olwen Fouéré, Dougray Scott and Connie Nielsen. Written and directed by Neasa Hardiman. Bright Moving Pictures/Creativity Capital/Epic Pictures Group.
PosterHermione Corfield stands out as lead character Siobhan
Siobhan (Corfield), a science student, gets a place on a fishing trawler that is overseen by Freya (Nielsen) and her husband, Gerard (Scott). As the trawler sets off, the Irish Coast Guard alerts the crew, informing them that their planned fishing destination is in an exclusion zone. However, despite Freya’s orders not to go there, Gerard takes the trawler into the zone anyway, because he needs a big haul of fish to keep ownership of the ship. But there’s something lurking within the exclusion zone that ain’t no fish…
The trawler sets off on its fateful voyage
This seaborne sci-fi-horror movie features a vast, strange creature that infects the crew. This infection actually turns out to be part of the critter’s lifecycle… and it can cause the eyeballs of victims to explode!
Be careful, dudes, your eyes might burst!
This is a pretty decent production, but the movie gets bogged down with the main protagonist, who is played well by Hermione Corfield, trying to identify and isolate the infection. The plot should really have delved more into the beast’s whole lifecycle, showing us what the various stages of this glowing, jellyfish-like critter look like. But, that aside, SEA FEVER is definitely a solid, well-acted, well-made, modestly-sized dark sci-fi flick.
Glowing appendages!The bioluminescent tentacle-appendages attach themselves to the ship’s hull with suckers… …and the appendages exude a slimy substance that eats through the wooden hull, ready to begin a cycle of infection
Hey, SEA FEVER features parasites swimming in people’s eyes and includes shots of bioluminescent tentacles, so of course it’s worth a watch!
Just what is this thing?
Turkish posterSouth Korean posterRussian posterThis film ain’t bad
Kaira (Lana Clarkson) doesn’t wear an awful lot in this movie…
Starring Rick (WARRIOR QUEEN) Hill, Barbi (X-RAY) Benton, Richard (FRIDAY THE 13TH: PART III) Brooker, Lana (AMAZON WOMEN ON THE MOON) Clarkson, Bernard Erhard and Victor Bo. Written by Howard R. (SATURDAY THE 14TH) Cohen and directed by James Sbardellati.
The pig-faced fighter!
The warrior known as Deathstalker (Hill) goes on a quest to find three objects of power: a chalice, a sword, and an amulet. Deathstalker’s journey will lead him to the castle of a sorcerer, where there is a tournament with different fights to the death…
“I have the power!” Oops, wrong movie
Deathstalker is told of his quest by a witch
DEATHSTALKER was one of the many low budget sword and sorcery films that came out in the wake of John Milius’ CONAN THE BARBARIAN (1982). This was one of only two films that James Sbardellati directed, as he was usually a first assistant director on such productions as BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS (1980), HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP (1980) and THE BEASTMASTER (1982), which is one of my favourite sword and sorcery flicks.
Was that ‘tattoo’ drawn on with a felt tip pen?
DEATHSTALKER, which features a witch, an imp and a weird little finger-eating puppet creature (it also likes to eat eyes), was an Argentine-American co-production (and was the first of several films that Roger Corman produced in Argentina.) As these kinds of threadbare fantasy productions go, DEATHSTALKER is an okay yarn that’s full of oiled warriors, semi-orgies, lots of half-naked women, mud wrestling, a pig-headed, tusked dude and a fairly lighthearted vibe.
The slimy puppet critter has a severed hand for lunch!
The movie, though far, far from being a fantasy classic, is certainly more enjoyable than the likes of ATOR, THE FIGHTING EAGLE (1982) and THE WARRIOR AND THE SORCERESS (1984), though it couldn’t possibly live up to the expectations created by Boris Vallejo’s cool poster. The ogre-creature that Boris depicts in his artwork is huge and impactful, gripping a desperate maiden with one huge hand as the beast-man raises a mace against the lithe hero. In the movie itself, this monstrous character is far less imposing, that’s for sure, but he’s still a fun, human-sized, boar-faced brute that enlivens proceedings.
Awesome Boris poster!
Boar-brute versus the hero!
More DEATHSTALKER films were to follow, and they all boasted posters that were always far better than the movies they represented!
A shot of a boar-dude holding a severed arm. Well, this is the Monster Zone, so we need lots of pics of the monsters!
Sadly, Lana Clarkson, who played the blonde warrior woman Kaira, was later murdered by record producer Phil Spector in 2003.
RIP Lana Clarkson
Alright then, one final look at ol’ piggy-features…
Starring Sam Bottoms, Susanne Reed and Virgil (THE CAT CREATURE) Frye. Written by Alfred M. Sweeney and Anne (BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS) Dyer, directed by Charles B. (WIZARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM II) Griffith and produced by Cirio H. (VAMPIRE HOOKERS) Santiago, Rolando S. Atienza, Roger (DAY THE WORLD ENDED) Corman, Jill (DR. HECKYL AND MR. HYPE) Griffith and Manny Norman. A New World Pictures production.
Say “Cheese!”
Cool poster, though the monster definitely doesn’t look like that in the movie! Art by the very talented William Stout.
An underwater earthquake releases a big prehistoric fish. Yay!
This fiendish fish flick stars Sam (THE LAST PICTURE SHOW) Bottoms, who also starred in APOCALYPSE NOW, another movie shot in the Philippines. But that’s where similarities end, as UP FROM THE DEPTHS will never be mistaken for a classic film, whereas Francis Ford Coppola’s awesome Vietnam War-set epic is a bonafide classic movie.
Sorry, Sam, you took the paycheck so you’ve got to make this movie!It’s got a big mouth!
Even though Chris (THE FLY) Walas helped make the monster, there’s nothing particularly special about this fish-critter’s design, other than it has a double dorsal fin and resembles a grouper fish. The poster, however, tries to make out the beast is a kind of blue, spiky-skinned, red-eyed shark-monster. I’ve seen behind the scenes shots of the full-size fish-head prop being propelled through the water by divers, but supposedly it proved too heavy to move around much. So, basically, the beast is only fleetingly shown during its assaults on swimmers.
The fish-beast has a double dorsal fin
Maybe I’m easily pleased, but I thought the full scale monster fish head at least looked like a decently-made model, even if it did remind me of a grouper fish. The director, Charles B. Griffith (writer of such films as ATTACK OF THE CRAB MONSTERS, BEAST FROM HAUNTED CAVE, A BUCKET OF BLOOD and THE LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS), definitely wasn’t a fan of the monster model, however, and felt compelled to make the movie pretty much into a comedy. But when producer Roger Corman saw Griffith’s cut he wasn’t very happy, as he thought that audiences would feel cheated if they went to see a JAWS rip-off movie and discovered that it was a comedy instead, so Corman had it re-edited in post-production, turning it into a straight horror picture.
As it is, the silly dialogue merged with the more ‘serious’ story edit helps to sink this fishy tale, as does the murky underwater photography and the blurry, indistinct fish attacks (that use a smaller monster model). Oh well.
A typically murky shot
Honestly, there is a fish monster lurking within the murkiness!
Let’s at least end this post with a clearer shot of the fish…
Thar she blows!
Devoted to every kind of movie and TV monster, from King Kong to Godzilla, from the Blob to Alien. Plus monsters from other media too, including books and comics.
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