Tag Archives: Chinese monster movie

Rising Boas in a Girl’s School (2022)

The main giant serpent attacks security guards!
The main giant serpent attacks security guards!

Starring Zheng Long, Peng Bo, Shi Xuanru, Pang Yong and Cao Tiankai. Written by Xie Wenjun, directed by Guo Yulong and Xie Wenjun. Produced by Li Shi.

Cool bit of promotional art
Cool bit of promotional art

A ginormous snake escapes from a snake farm (that’d been using illegal growth hormones in its feed to breed larger reptiles for its snakeskin handbag business) and slinks down to the nearby Haixi Flight Attendant Aviation College, where it runs amok, accompanied by masses of regular-sized, aggressive serpents. A valiant security guard (Long) and a feisty student (Bo) team-up to help a group of survivors holed up in the college buildings live through the ordeal.

The huge snake claims another victim!
The huge snake claims another victim!

This film should technically have been called ‘Rising Boas in a Flight Attendant Aviation College’, but I guess that title was far less punchy! Setting this film in this location does provide the filmmakers with an excuse to show droves of screaming female students, wearing figure-hugging white skirts and light blue blouses, clattering around in their high heels, as the huge snake rampages about the college, in scenes that really ramp up the movie’s cheesy fun factor.

A film that mixes killer snakes with student flight attendants!
A film that mixes killer snakes with student flight attendants!
Stampeding student stewardesses!
Stampeding student stewardesses!

Some girls and their teachers get gobbled up, then the story transitions into the siege-focused part of the plot. Despite a title that Freud would have salivated over, the film steers away from showing anything too lascivious, contenting itself with an occasional shot of, say, a small snake slithering from a dead student’s skirt or the scene where a snake crawls over an underdressed character whilst she’s in the middle of indulging in some blindfolded foreplay with her boyfriend. But none of this is as exploitative as the sweaty promotional art, which seems to promise something more risqué. There’s nothing here that reaches the delirious, manic, mondo heights of 80s Hong Kong schlock-fest CALAMITY OF SNAKES, for instance.

Boas like bras?
Boas like bras?

A sequence with the guard hero hanging from cables strung between two buildings, with the mega-snake curled up below him and two smaller snakes making their way along the cables, is well-handled, with special effects that are on a par with the kind of FX seen in similar flicks.

A variation on one of the promotional images
A variation on one of the promotional images
The massive boa looks quite good in some of its scenes
The massive boa looks quite good in some of its scenes

By the midpoint the film tries to become a little more serious, as more people get picked off and squabbles break out amongst the survivors. There’s a pause in the action to allow an elitist, selfish student to be lectured about the importance of working people, in a speech bound to please the Chinese Communist Party censors, and then the fun stuff kicks back into gear as the huge snake launches another attack.

Nom, nom, nom...
Nom, nom, nom…

The guard protagonist has a moment of self-doubt (heroes in these movies often do), but he’s soon taking part in an enjoyable finale that sees the survivors tooling themselves up with homemade fireworks-bazookas. This extended showdown, ending with the recently-eaten security guard somehow surviving and crawling back out of the dead snake’s mouth, helps make this movie mindlessly marvellous in its own trashy, limited way, but it would’ve been far better if it had retained the silly, kitsch vibe of the first act.

The survivors use 'fireworks-bazookas' during the finale!
The survivors use ‘fireworks-bazookas’ during the finale!

One last look at the mega-snake…

Super-sized snake on the prowl!
Super-sized snake on the prowl!

The Beast in the River (2023)

Cannons are fired into the river by Sheriff Hu to kill the creature, which he thinks is just a large fish...
Cannons are fired into the river by Sheriff Hu to kill the creature, which he thinks is just a large fish…

Starring Lim Youwei, Hong Siyang, Wang Tingwen, He Jiangfeng and Gao Shaowei. Written by Wu Weijuan and Zhu Zifa. Directed by Zhang Wei for New Studios Pictures/Shandong Harmony Pictures/Anhui Mengyu Pictures.

Single parent Gu Zhiyuan (Youwei) does low-paid dock work after leaving a life of crime, doing his best to raise his daughter Linglong (Tingwen). When a rampaging river monster comes ashore, causes havoc in the city of Tianjin, then abducts Linglong by snagging her with its tail (in a very similar way to what happens in the 2006 South Korean monster film THE HOST), Zhiyuan sets out to save his daughter.

The beast comes ashore to gobble up some of the townsfolk
The beast leaves the river to gobble up some of the townsfolk

Aided by his journalist sister-in-law Xiaowei (Siyang) and a couple of his friends, Zhiyuan discovers that Wu Xun, a senior doctor at the local children’s hospital, is the man responsible for creating the beast during experiments aimed, so he claims, at saving ill children’s lives. Wu says that he will help them capture the creature, which is using the extensive sewer systems below the city as its lair…

The critter climbs across a roof
The critter climbs across a roof

Lots of action takes place within the labyrinthine sewers, as Zhiyuen, armed with a trident, slashes the creature and leads the enraged beast into a trap, where it is ensnared in a chain net. But Zhiyuan is immediately betrayed by Wu, who is in league with local mob kingpin Master Kun. Wu doesn’t want the beast to be killed, which causes a rift with Master Kun, leading to a shootout in the sewers, enabling the creature to escape.

The toothy bugger roams the sewers
The toothy bugger roams the sewers

After some melodramatics following the death of his best pal, Zhiyuen is arrested on false charges by the Tianjin cops, but Xiaowei persuades the inept head policeman, Sheriff Hu, to let Zhiyuen walk free and hunt for the beast with his officers.

The usual dynamic promotional art
The usual dynamic promotional art

Zhiyuen and one of his buddies capture the creature in the sewers once more but, yet again, Wu intervenes, threatening to shoot the recently-saved Linglong if his beloved beast is hurt. The villainous Wu, you’ll be glad to find out, does meet a fitting, fiery end, though the monster still roams free. It chases Zhiyuen and Linglong to the nearby river landing, where a cops-vs-beast face-off occurs and grappling hooks are deployed to little effect, leaving it up to Zhiyuan to deal with the beast by ramming an explosive package beneath the critter’s skin with his trident, resulting in a downbeat ending as the hero sacrifices his life to take down the monster. Post-credits, however, we are shown Zhiyuan enjoying a meal with Linglong and Xiaowei, so he obviously did survive.

The cops snag the creature with grappling hooks…
The cops snag the creature with grappling hooks and shoot at it, but to no avail...
…and then the policemen shoot at it, but to no avail…
…so our hero stabs a bag of explosives into the critter’s skin…
...and he keeps on stabbing the explosives into the beast, which finally gets blown up
…and he keeps on stabbing the explosives into the beast, which finally gets blown up

The monster in this direct-to-streaming movie, set during the Republic of China period, is a dark-skinned, toothy-faced, quadrupedal, long-tailed amphibious creature with a small-ish neural spine sail. The critter comes across as an amalgamation of the thing from THE HOST with a body structure akin to a Ray Harryhausen stop-motion creation, although the overall look has an alien creature vibe to it too. Though not in the same league as THE HOST, the CGI is passable, the action is brisk, the monster has a decent amount of screen time, and there’s a final shot after the credits to set up a sequel, making this low budget flick an entertaining Chinese creature feature that’s worth checking out.

One final look at the creature...
One final look at the creature…

No Way to Escape (2021)

This poster is niiiiiiiice...
This poster is niiiiiiiice…
A giant scorpion snags a fighting femme with its stinger
A giant scorpion snags a fighting femme with its stinger

Starring Yu Sichu, Xu Dongmei, Wu Youxuan, Chen Yichen and Huang Zhenghao, written by Lu Yunfei and Liang Zhongfan, directed by Lu Yunfei. Produced by Chang Bin, Yao Ling, Fu Juan, Wang Lin and Hu Nan.

Don't mess with this lass
Don’t mess with this lass

Three foxy mercenary women are tasked with acting as bodyguards for young Dr Harwin, who is being sent on a mission, as part of a Special Emergency Response Team, to an underground base called Deep Pit located within the western Gobi Desert. This bunker-building, run by OHM Technologies and the military, is a centre for nuclear materials research, but there’s been a gamma ray leak at the bottom of the base, causing the place to be locked down, trapping many researchers inside. After entering the subterranean building it all gets messy when Colonel Krumbach, the leader of the Special Emergency Response Team, orders his troops to start shooting any scientists still surviving in the base, because he doesn’t want witnesses as he prepares to unleash a plan for world domination that relies on the use of giant, mutated scorpions!

A huge scorpion rams its stinger right through a soldier's chest
A huge scorpion rams its stinger right through a soldier’s chest

NO WAY TO ESCAPE seems to be set in some unspecified country that has a diverse ethnic mix within its military, though the good guys do tend to be the Chinese characters. Some of the acting, especially the western dudes playing the obnoxious grunts, is not likely to win any awards. There’s an occasional naff FX shot of helicopters at the start (why do helicopters often look ropey in these sort of films?), but the movie has better production values and art direction compared to similar US flicks made by The Asylum and their ilk. This movie also delivers more on-screen CGI monster action compared to its American counterparts. An added bonus is the fact that NO WAY TO ESCAPE (like other recent Chinese genre flicks) is a commendably short film. It’s definitely no time-waster.

Mid-size mutant scorpions attack!
Mid-size mutant scorpions attack!
Blasting away at the arthropods
Blasting away at the arthropods
A bad guy gets overrun by the scorpions: he deserved it!
A bad guy gets overrun by the scorpions: he deserved it!

When the soldiers, devoid of empathy, murder every researcher they encounter, you find yourself hoping they will get fragged by the massive scorpions at some point, which does, indeed, start to happen. Yay! The svelte and heroic she-soldiers, called Bijiao, Baizhi & Guiche, obviously end up battling these killer arachnids too, but they’re far more skilled and able to deal with these stinger-tailed buggers!

One of the heroines shoots a scorpion, probably in its face!
One of the heroines shoots a scorpion, probably in its face!

There’s definitely stuff to enjoy in NO WAY TO ESCAPE. I kinda liked one of the bigger scorpions, which was a CGI creation, of course, but it had a neat, stop-motion jerkiness to its movements sometimes. There’s also a nice behavioural touch given to Dr Harwin, who always plays with lego or jigsaws as he works things out, hinting that, perhaps, he’s on the spectrum.

A gal and a guy unleash some lead into the big bugs
A gal and a guy unleash some lead into the big bugs

Creature-wise, there are several giant scorpions that differ slightly size-wise, plus the occasional swarm of normal-looking, small scorpions that are actually capable of boring their way through human bodies.

The biggest scorpion smashes up a truck
The biggest scorpion smashes up a truck

The script is forgettable, but a film with action scenes involving Asian Lara Croft wannabes armed with daggers, skirmishing with giant scorpions, is not to be sniffed at, right?

One of the female mercs is chased by a scorpion at the bottom of the secret base
One of the female mercs is chased by a scorpion at the bottom of the secret base

These gals are so tough they never seem to consider using guns against these arthropods, they just wanna start slashing the big bugs with their blades! There’s one extended fight between these three female furies and a scorpion, deep down in the bunker, that is really rather exciting, as the lethal ladies take turns to jump atop the scorpion to skewer it. They then get in some wirework practice as they’re hurled across the chamber by the angry beast! 

These women like to stab scorpions! They'll stab 'em in their tails...
These women like to stab the scorpions with their knives! They’ll stab ’em in their tails…
...and these ferocious fighting femmes will stab 'em in the back too!
…and these ferocious fighting femmes will stab ’em in the back too!

This promotional art doesn’t even bother showing the monster scorpions, it just focuses of the deadly female protagonists…

This trio are ready for action!
This trio are ready for action!

Let’s end this review of one more shot of a giant, six-eyed scorpion…

A monstrous mug shot...
A monstrous mug shot…

Deep Sea Mutant Snake (2022)

A big snake on a cruise liner!
A big snake on a cruise liner!

Starring Zhao Yixin, Li Jiayi, Qiu Shijian, Jiang Yan-Xi, Emir and Waise Lee, written by Wu Yang, Ma Huai-Chang and Dina Hamiti. Directed by Wu Yang for Culture Media Co/Rabbit Hole Film.

These new Chinese monster movies always boast nice promo illustrations
These new Chinese monster movies always boast nice promo illustrations

A research complex on a remote island, used for genetic experiments on snakes by a company called the Carsi Group, is forcefully shut down by its owner (Waise Lee), who even allows his soldiers to mercilessly gun down the scientists (as also happens in the Chinese monster-actioner NO WAY TO ESCAPE), but (surprise, surprise) some of the scaly lab-modified creatures survive…

Battling babes get ready to take on a serpent...
Battling babes get ready to take on a serpent…
...and one of the the she-fighters leaps at the reptile and stabs it with her dagger
…and one of the femme fighters leaps at the reptile and stabs it with her dagger

Featuring what is probably the most beloved type of monster used in this recent wave of Chinese creature features – a massive snake beast – the film begins on the island, switches to a cruise ship location for the movie’s midsection, then returns to the island for the finale.

There's a giant snake right behind you, mate!
There’s a giant snake right behind you, mate!
Normal-sized snakes slither all over the ship
Normal-sized snakes slither all over the ship

After multitudes of the normal-sized, aggressive lab snakes, plus a much larger serpent, crawl up onto the ship we are treated to lots of snakes-on-a-cruise-ship hijinks, as a motley bunch of survivors, led by no-nonsense hero Qin (Yixin), dash about the corridors to avoid the slithering killers. Adding to the danger is the truly massive, crested, mutant snake that rises from the sea and wraps itself around the doomed vessel.

The really huge mutant snake towers over the ship
The really huge mutant snake towers over the ship

Qin and those who’ve managed to avoid the venomous reptiles escape the ship on an inflatable life raft that drifts to the island from which the savage serpents had originated. Here the plot becomes even more monster-tastic, as the characters encounter different types of killer creatures that’ve mutated thanks to the leakage of chemicals from the abandoned labs. My favourite new critters are giant barnacles that cluster along the shoreline. These can extend long, fleshy, prehensile mouthparts to chow down on victims!

Barnacle beasts!
Barnacle beasts!
A barnacle's toothy appendage grabs a victim!
A barnacle’s toothy appendage grabs a victim!
These mutant barnacles are definitely my favourite monsters in this film!
These mutant barnacles are definitely my favourite monsters in this film!

Another monster that’s encountered is a massive, stilt-legged spider that lurks in the tree canopy and is definitely a rip off of the very, very similar bamboo forest arachnid seen in KONG: SKULL ISLAND (2017).

I've seen a long-legged spider-monster like this somewhere before...
I’ve seen a long-legged spider-monster like this somewhere before…

Zhao Yixin plays Qin as a very committed, serious dude on a mission, though he does get to have a sad, reflective moment as he recalls his dead love, who had died earlier investigating the Carsi Group. Qin and the few survivors are, of course, threatened yet again by the mega-snake, but they devise a plan that ends with the snake falling off a cliff and getting chewed to death by the berserk barnacles!

The barnacles attack the mega-snake!
The barnacles attack the mega-snake!

Despite a misleading title (the mutant snake comes from an island, not the deep sea) and colourful promo illustrations that suggest the lead character will be some kind of gun-toting, super-fighter femme fatale (even though that particular character is killed off near the start of the tale), DEEP SEA MUTANT SNAKE is still a perfectly fine example of the typical sort of Chinese monster movie currently being created.

This artwork is niiiiiice
This artwork is niiiiiice

One more look at those cool mutant barnacles…

This one has just eaten somebody
This one has just eaten somebody

Snow Monster (2019)

This horned yeti is huge!
This horned yeti is huge!
Beauty and the beast
Beauty and the beast

Starring Wu Juncheng, Zhang Yongxian and Tang Xin, written by Sheng Fan Zhang and Pian Jia Leng, directed by Huang He.

Roar!
Roar!

Also known as SNOW MONSTER VS ICE SHARK, this was made for Chinese streaming platform Youku. The story is set in 2045 and sees the Hong Gene Research advance team exploring an unknown Arctic area which, we are informed, has unstable magnetic fields that suggest the zone could produce genetic variations. Contact is lost with the advance team, so Ren Yi Fei (Juncheng) is asked to lead a rescue mission, which he readily accepts to do because his ex-girlfriend, Xiao Qin (Yongxian), is one of the missing researchers.

Also known as SNOW MONSTER VS ICE SHARK
Also known misleadingly as SNOW MONSTER VS ICE SHARK

Ren and his team, which includes chubby motormouth Wen (Xin), kindly Hong Gene Research exec Uncle Lin, beefy dreadlocked dude Tyson and some armed mercenary-types, don’t begin an arduous trek through snowy landscapes, which is what I expected. Instead, they actually go to a Chinese temple ruin and, after CGI rock spires thrust from the ground, enter a cavernous area littered with the skeletons of Qi Dynasty soldiers. Here they’re assaulted by flocks of jagged-beaked crow-like cave-birds that locate their victims via sound. Individual birds in this sequence look better than the CGI shots of them swarming around en masse. After tramping through the caves, the rescue team almost immediately reaches a mountainous Arctic region! Either the filmmakers have no real concept of distance, or this quick transition is due to the ‘quantum malfunctions’ and the ‘space rainbow layer hypothesis’ that Uncle Lin eagerly talks about for a while.

One of the cave-birds crawls from a human skull
One of the cave-birds crawls from a human skull

Passing by the skeleton of a carnivorous dinosaur in the snowy wastes, the team is suddenly attacked by a huge ice shark! At first I assumed the spiky-chinned killer fish had leapt from an unseen lake beneath an ice sheet, but no: this critter actually swims through the snow, in a way similar to the titular creature from the US cheapie SNOW SHARK: ANCIENT SNOW BEAST (2011)! Unlike in that film, or AVALANCHE SHARKS (2014), the shark in SNOW MONSTER looks pretty cool and effective! This leaping shark, which has a mouthful of super-sharp teeth, seems set to devour the team, but a gigantic yeti-like creature grabs the shark, slams it against rocks, then munches on it. This is a dumb-yet-fun sequence!

An ice shark leaps from the snow!
An ice shark leaps from the snow!
The ice shark has LOTS of teeth!
The ice shark has LOTS of teeth!
The snow monster kills the ice shark
The snow monster kills the ice shark

This seriously huge man-beast is the creature we’ve come to see! It has ram-like horns and is reminiscent of an enormous, more benign version of the wampa seen in THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK (1980). It seems to be portrayed mainly by a man in a suit, though the bleached-out nature of the snowy landscapes, which are nearly all green screen stage shots, make the white-furred snow monster look quite recessive much of the time, so the creature can be mistaken for a CGI creation even when it isn’t. 

A close-up of the snow monster's visage
A close-up of the snow monster’s visage

Anyway, the mega-yeti seems friendly, but a scared merc accidentally fires at the snow monster, and the rescue team looks to be in big, big trouble yet again, but a tribe of elf-eared indigenous folk come to help out and it’s revealed that their queen can communicate with the snow monster, which is considered to be a sacred animal that the tribe meets on the third day of the twelfth lunar month every year.

The elf-eared folk begin their ceremony...
The elf-eared folk begin their ceremony…
...the snow beast appears...
…and the snow beast appears

The movie’s subtle score is quite affecting in places. I’d even go so far as to say that the music sometimes counterbalances the so-so nature of the special effects, making some scenes better than they had any right of being, such as when our heroes and the tribespeople are visited by the humungous snow monster during a key ritual. It’s actually rather poignant when Ren and Xia Qin bond with the beast by touching one of its big, black fingernails.

...and the creature extends a finger for the protagonists to touch...
The creature extends a finger for the protagonists to touch…
...and the snow beast bonds with the humans
…and the snow beast bonds with the good humans

This quiet moment is broken when the mercenaries, led by Uncle Lin, who has revealed that he is, in fact, a dastardly cad called Mr Henry, fire missiles and shoot at the snow monster. The yeti is hit with one of Mr Henry’s electrified super-bullets and falls from view. The mercs then shoot a lot of the tribe and force the queen to lead them to the snow monster, but she takes them instead to a zone full of yet more ice sharks! The sharks get electrocuted, though, and things get ugly when the queen is shot, which enrages the snow monster. The dying queen passes a sacred bangle to her acrobatic warrior-woman daughter Kaya… and then fighter jets arrive!? The planes use magnetic sound waves to subdue the towering yeti, buying time for Mr Henry to shoot the snow monster with another electro-bullet, further entrapping the yeti so that he can hopefully extract gene samples from the creature, which the villain claims will be full of mysterious, useful qualities.

Mr Henry with his big gun that fires electro-bullets
Mr Henry with his big gun that fires electro-bullets

After a finale that comes complete with exploding jets, kung fu scuffles and Mr Henry getting squashed under the yeti’s huge hand, the snow monster shares a look with Kaya, acknowledging her as the successor to the dead queen.

Pointy-eared tribespeople
Pointy-eared tribespeople

As with so many of the tsunami of Chinese-made monster movies recently released, the poster artwork promises more than the film can hope to deliver but, damn it, I ended up enjoying this creature feature anyway, shoddy though it sometimes is in the FX department, mainly because the director managed to inject some heart into the latter stages of the production.

The artwork makes the snow monster look far more nasty
The artwork makes the snow monster look far more nasty

Let’s end with a final look at one of those nifty ice sharks…

The shark opens its toothsome maw!
The shark opens its toothsome maw!