Mutant Ghost Wargirl (2022)

September 24, 2023 Ken Miller Leave a comment

It's called MUTANT GHOST WARGIRL: 'nuff said! — It’s called MUTANT GHOST WARGIRL: ’nuff said!

Starring Mu Qimiya, Li Mingxuan, Liu Beige, Cui Zhenzhen, Zheng Yan, Shang Na and Deng Haowen. Written by Xiao Ye, directed by Liu Binjie, produced by Xu Hao, Du Jian and Wang Rui for Cappu films & Error 404 Productions

In 2077, at a time when gene tech has advanced immeasurably, private consortiums invest in gene mutation research, developing mutant warriors with super abilities for use in underground death-combat competitions. In order to keep on top of the increasing mutant crime, the International Security Alliance Organization has been established.

You don't want this woman to smash you with her elbow — You don’t want this woman to smash you with her elbow

Ghost (Qimiya) is an ISAO operative who has been captured by the crime group Medusa Consortium in Korea. Ghost had been on an undercover mission, using the name Wu, but the Medusa Consortium has experimented on her, injecting her with genetic induction solution, resulting in Ghost acquiring powers and losing her memory, so when smart-suited members of the International Security Alliance Organization storm into an experimentation chamber to save her, Ghost/Wu doesn’t know what the hell is happening to her.

You also don't want this woman to smash you on top of your head with her boot — You also don’t want this woman to smash you on top of your head with her boot

Ghost, also known as Wu, is experimented on by a criminal organization

A shoot-out ensues and it seems that the ISAO operatives are owning the situation… until a huge, slavering mutant monster is unleashed on them! This beast has a maw full of pink, squid-like tentacles and can split open its face like the Demogorgon from STRANGER THINGS. Ghost kicks into action and slices off some of the creature’s tentacle-tongues, but, as she attempts to escape, a leather-clad female Medusa agent with a sharp, blonde wig and super abilities, including teleportation and telekinesis powers, gets in her way, forcing Ghost to unleash her own still-developing mutation-induced skills to do battle with blondie.

Ghost and the ISAO agents face-off against a mutant creature... — Ghost and the ISAO agents face-off against a mutant creature…

...and this monster can eject tentacles from its mouth! — …and this monster can eject tentacles from its mouth!

The beast's face can also peel back like flesh petals — The beast’s face can also peel back like flesh petals

Ghost finally breaks out of the chamber (hidden at the back of a plastic surgery hospital), blacks out and wakes up in an apartment, owned by nice-guy special agent Zhou Yang (Mingxuan). As the plot progresses, we’re introduced to various villains and learn of the different categories of super-humans that have been artificially created, including Class A, Class B and S-Class mutants.

Ghost, who can move so fast that time seems to stand still, also has enhanced strength and is very handy with a long blade. Her powers seem to vary and are not clearly defined, and she uses some skills more sparingly than others. Opponents she faces-off against include Class A mutant Cui Youxi – who can encase her arm in rocks and can manipulate cement & stone as weapons, S-Class mutant Angela – who’s equipped with healing powers, plus high-ranking, wildcard Medusa baddie Li Yongshun – who has heightened telekinesis powers.

Cui Youxi can cover her fist and forearm in rocks!

Though we are led to believe that we’ll be witnessing some illegally-streamed, gladiatorial-style death matches, we see very little of them. That’s not to say that we don’t get mutant-powered fights, which are mainly showdowns that occur between ghost and her various pursuers. The skirmish between Angela and Ghost is resolved quicker than expected, especially considering Angela is meant to be a super-tough S-Class mutant, but the end fight confrontation focusing on a blade-wielding Ghost going up against Li Yongshun is better, with Ghost seemingly outclassed at first, getting telekinetically hurled around an opulent room, smashing into walls and pillars, spitting out gouts of blood as she’s injured. Even when she starts fighting back she has to contend with her opponent filling the air with hundreds of glass shards.

Li Yongshun controls a cloud of glass shards — Li Yongshun controls a cloud of broken glass

A high-kicking, colourful, superficial time-waster

Ultimately, MUTANT GHOST WARGIRL doesn’t live up to the promise of its beginning, where we were treated to shots of Ghost and the ISAO agents fighting the massive muto-monster and the foxy, bewigged blonde Medusa agent in the experimental chamber. Nothing that follows manages to be quite as good or as outlandish as that opening sequence.

But the film, which is obviously influenced by AKIRA (hologram-festooned future cityscapes & some similar-sounding wraith-like choral music), GHOST IN THE SHELL (geisha robots) and X-MEN (super-powered mutants), does manage to always look good. There are some fun, high-kicking battling babe scraps, some decent quality, detailed CGI effects, and the art direction is consistently eye-catching, meaning that this Chinese flick, though superficial and far from original, never outstays its welcome.

At one point Ghost seems to freeze time when she moves very quickly

Though the various pieces of super-colourful promotional artworks seem to promise more than is delivered, this flick is still a diverting, though derivative, sci-fi-actioner — Though the various pieces of super-colourful promotional artwork seem to promise more than is delivered, this flick is still a diverting, though derivative, sci-fi-actioner

Snow Monster (2019)

September 23, 2023 Ken Miller Leave a comment

Starring Wu Juncheng, Zhang Yongxian and Tang Xin, written by Sheng Fan Zhang and Pian Jia Leng, directed by Huang He.

Also known as SNOW MONSTER VS ICE SHARK, this was made for Chinese streaming platform Youku. The story is set in 2045 and sees the Hong Gene Research advance team exploring an unknown Arctic area which, we are informed, has unstable magnetic fields that suggest the zone could produce genetic variations. Contact is lost with the advance team, so Ren Yi Fei (Juncheng) is asked to lead a rescue mission, which he readily accepts to do because his ex-girlfriend, Xiao Qin (Yongxian), is one of the missing researchers.

Ren and his team, which includes chubby motormouth Wen (Xin), kindly Hong Gene Research exec Uncle Lin, beefy dreadlocked dude Tyson and some armed mercenary-types, don’t begin an arduous trek through snowy landscapes, which is what I expected. Instead, they actually go to a Chinese temple ruin and, after CGI rock spires thrust from the ground, enter a cavernous area littered with the skeletons of Qi Dynasty soldiers. Here they’re assaulted by flocks of jagged-beaked crow-like cave-birds that locate their victims via sound. Individual birds in this sequence look better than the CGI shots of them swarming around en masse. After tramping through the caves, the rescue team almost immediately reaches a mountainous Arctic region! Either the filmmakers have no real concept of distance, or this quick transition is due to the ‘quantum malfunctions’ and the ‘space rainbow layer hypothesis’ that Uncle Lin eagerly talks about for a while.

One of the cave-birds crawls from a human skull

Passing by the skeleton of a carnivorous dinosaur in the snowy wastes, the team is suddenly attacked by a huge ice shark! At first I assumed the spiky-chinned killer fish had leapt from an unseen lake beneath an ice sheet, but no: this critter actually swims through the snow, in a way similar to the titular creature from the US cheapie SNOW SHARK: ANCIENT SNOW BEAST (2011)! Unlike in that film, or AVALANCHE SHARKS (2014), the shark in SNOW MONSTER looks pretty cool and effective! This leaping shark, which has a mouthful of super-sharp teeth, seems set to devour the team, but a gigantic yeti-like creature grabs the shark, slams it against rocks, then munches on it. This is a dumb-yet-fun sequence!

This seriously huge man-beast is the creature we’ve come to see! It has ram-like horns and is reminiscent of an enormous, more benign version of the wampa seen in THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK (1980). It seems to be portrayed mainly by a man in a suit, though the bleached-out nature of the snowy landscapes, which are nearly all green screen stage shots, make the white-furred snow monster look quite recessive much of the time, so the creature can be mistaken for a CGI creation even when it isn’t.

A close-up of the snow monster's visage — A close-up of the snow monster’s visage

Anyway, the mega-yeti seems friendly, but a scared merc accidentally fires at the snow monster, and the rescue team looks to be in big, big trouble yet again, but a tribe of elf-eared indigenous folk come to help out and it’s revealed that their queen can communicate with the snow monster, which is considered to be a sacred animal that the tribe meets on the third day of the twelfth lunar month every year.

The elf-eared folk begin their ceremony... — The elf-eared folk begin their ceremony…

...the snow beast appears... — …and the snow beast appears

The movie’s subtle score is quite affecting in places. I’d even go so far as to say that the music sometimes counterbalances the so-so nature of the special effects, making some scenes better than they had any right of being, such as when our heroes and the tribespeople are visited by the humungous snow monster during a key ritual. It’s actually rather poignant when Ren and Xia Qin bond with the beast by touching one of its big, black fingernails.

...and the creature extends a finger for the protagonists to touch... — The creature extends a finger for the protagonists to touch…

...and the snow beast bonds with the humans — …and the snow beast bonds with the good humans

This quiet moment is broken when the mercenaries, led by Uncle Lin, who has revealed that he is, in fact, a dastardly cad called Mr Henry, fire missiles and shoot at the snow monster. The yeti is hit with one of Mr Henry’s electrified super-bullets and falls from view. The mercs then shoot a lot of the tribe and force the queen to lead them to the snow monster, but she takes them instead to a zone full of yet more ice sharks! The sharks get electrocuted, though, and things get ugly when the queen is shot, which enrages the snow monster. The dying queen passes a sacred bangle to her acrobatic warrior-woman daughter Kaya… and then fighter jets arrive!? The planes use magnetic sound waves to subdue the towering yeti, buying time for Mr Henry to shoot the snow monster with another electro-bullet, further entrapping the yeti so that he can hopefully extract gene samples from the creature, which the villain claims will be full of mysterious, useful qualities.

Mr Henry with his big gun that fires electro-bullets

After a finale that comes complete with exploding jets, kung fu scuffles and Mr Henry getting squashed under the yeti’s huge hand, the snow monster shares a look with Kaya, acknowledging her as the successor to the dead queen.

As with so many of the tsunami of Chinese-made monster movies recently released, the poster artwork promises more than the film can hope to deliver but, damn it, I ended up enjoying this creature feature anyway, shoddy though it sometimes is in the FX department, mainly because the director managed to inject some heart into the latter stages of the production.

The artwork makes the snow monster look far more nasty

Let’s end with a final look at one of those nifty ice sharks…

Warriors of Future (2022)

September 19, 2023 Ken Miller 2 Comments

Starring Louis Koo, Lau Ching-Wan, Philip Keung, Carina Lau, Tse Kwan Ho, Wan Guopeng, Wu Qian, He Guoxuan and So Yuet-Yin. Written by Lau Ho-Leung and Mak Tin-Shu. Directed by Ng Yuen Fai and produced by Tang Wai-But for One Cool Film Production, Media Asia Films & Hua Wen Movie Group.

Killer alien plant-tendrils! Soldiers in powered exo-suits!

Numerous wars and the ongoing destruction of the environment lead to an increase in dangerous toxins in the air, so the people of a desperate future Earth begin to build Skynet domes in the hope of providing better air for its citizens… but then a meteorite crashes earthwards, releasing a giant, ever-growing alien plant that begins to infest an urban region known as B16. This voracious vegetation, codenamed Pandora, expands in deadly bursts during heavy rainfall, and a squad of soldiers from B16’s Air Combat Unit are sent on a mission to locate Pandora’s hidden pistil (its reproductive centre) so that they can detonate a ‘gene bullet’ in the hope that it will reprogram the enormous plant to become a docile cleanser of Earth’s atmosphere… but our heroes must do this before the next major rainstorm, or the authorities will be forced to heavily bomb Pandora, which will result in a heavy loss of human life in the surrounding city. To make matters even more difficult, there is a traitor who wants this mission to fail…

Some of the skyscrapers in the B16 zone are swathed in alien plant life

Military aircraft shoot up some aggressive alien flowers

The visuals for WARRIORS OF FUTURE can sometimes become really overloaded with CGI, but at least the quality of the special effects is much better than those seen in similar flicks. We get to see vast, vine-shrouded cityscapes, tiltrotor aircraft firing at angry plant appendages, collapsing buildings and crashing military hardware. The helmer of this Hong Kong action-sci-fi fest is Ng Yuen Fai, who usually works as a visual effects supervisor, so it’s hardly surprising this production is chock-full of special effects eye candy.

After the attack fleet gets heavily depleted, partly due to sabotage, the few surviving soldiers are aided by military desk jockey Johnson Cheng (Ching-Wan) and an ex-soldier called Skunk (Keung). With time running out, the group attempts to complete their mission, but now they must defend themselves from swarms of human-sized bug/crustacean creatures too! These alien critters have mandibles, teeth, four eyes, can communicate using their vibrating neck-plates, and resemble feral versions of the ‘prawns’ from DISTRICT 9 (2009). As I’m an avid movie monster fan, I was delighted, of course, to see these beasties, though, from a plot perspective, they do tend to make you forget that the Pandora plant, often dormant and offscreen between rainfall scenes, is supposed to be the main threat. It is eventually revealed, however, that these chitinous creatures actually originate from Pandora’s pistil.

Tyler tussles with one of the alien critters!

An alien calls out to its lethal cohorts using vibrating neck-plates

Characterisations are sketchy, with Tyler (Koo) given the kind of parent-grieving-a-dead-child backstory we’ve seen too many times before, whilst quirky Skunk is provided with a minor character arc when he proves himself to be a dependable soldier once more. Lau Ching-Wan, reliably stoic as Johnson, is perfectly fine in his role, but he really needed more from the script to have any chance of properly fleshing out his character. The by-the-numbers plotting means this film, ultimately, is similar to other throwaway sci-fi spectaculars like THE TOMORROW WAR (2021), but, hey, WARRIORS OF FUTURE still managed to grab my attention as the storyline progressed. Let’s find out why…

A sequence within a crumbling tower block, where Tyler and Johnson try to retrieve the gene bullet from a vehicle dangling high up above the ruins, is satisfyingly tense, pulling you into the adventure. Even more exciting and gripping is a chase set piece that follows, with the heroes hurtling along an elevated, deserted highway in an armoured truck, pursued by rogue military robots. Lots of ordnance is fired and lots of stuff gets wrecked! This is a high-octane burst of kinetic, tough, computer game-like sci-fi action; when all the cluster bombs and bullets are used up, the combatants resort to fighting with axes, knives and even a car door! Ticking clocks are also used well, with characters always on the back foot as they race against time to reach their goals before the next storm arrives and the entire area gets bombed to smithereens.

The dangling vehicle scene becomes quite gripping

If these guys run out of ammo they use knives and axes

The film boasts some hellishly cool hardware; everything from the Air Combat Unit’s Orca aircraft, the nifty, powered exo-suits with in-helmet comm systems, and a walking robo-tank that’s reminiscent of a similar machine in GHOST IN THE SHELL (1995).

The script is nothing to write home about, but this is a thrilling, big-scale Hong Kong sci-fi crowd-pleaser. Bug-monsters, explosions, utterly huge extraterrestrial tendrils, rocket launchers, robots, mass property destruction and slo-mo future combat: what’s not to like?!

A Chinese Odyssey Part Two: Cinderella (1995)

September 8, 2023 Ken Miller Leave a comment

King Bull is a big obstacle again — King Bull is a big obstacle in the story again

Starring Stephen Chow, Ng Man-Tat, Athena Chu, Ada Choi, Yammie Lam Kit-Ying and Karen Mok. Directed by Jeffrey Lau for Color Star Films and Xi’an Film Studio.

Stephen Chow and Athena Chu — Stephen Chow (as Joker) and Athena Chu

In this sequel to A CHINESE ODYSSEY PART ONE: PANDORA’S BOX we follow the comedic adventures of Joker/Monkey King (Chow) after he is sent 500 years into the past. Here he once more encounters characters like Longevity Monk and King Bull.

In this Hong Kong action-comedy-fantasy flick our hero is torn between two loves in a story that relies on a lot of body-swapping humour, such as when a female character switches bodies with Pigsy (Man-Tat). There’s also a running joke concerning Longevity Monk, who is portrayed as such an insufferably irritating chatterbox that bovine warriors would rather kill themselves than listen to him!

Longevity Monk natters so much this bull guard stabs himself to death!

This time around we’re introduced to Princess Iron Fan (Choi), a bat-eared villain called Old Black Mountain Devil that can sniff away a person’s life, and King Bull’s many minions, who have visages resembling dogs, lizards and birds.

Here are some of King Bull's animal-faced minions — Here are some of King Bull’s animal-faced minions

Old Black Mountain Devil is on the prowl... — Old Black Mountain Devil is on the prowl…

...and he tries to sniff Joker's life-force from his body — …and he tries to sniff Joker’s life-force from his body

With Joker finally becoming Monkey King, he battles King Bull, who uses a magic fan to cause earthquakes and winds, sending the city and everyone within it hurtling towards the sun! Monkey King saves the day, helps the new incarnations of Joker and his lover Zixia find romance, then heads off across the desert with his master.

Part two, directed by Jeffrey Lau, who also made OPERATION PINK SQUAD II and SAVIOUR OF THE SOUL, is certainly a mad ride, but A CHINESE ODYSSEY PART ONE: PANDORA’S BOX (also directed by Lau) is funnier, with better-handled set pieces compared to this follow-up.

Tentacles (1977)

September 7, 2023 Ken Miller 2 Comments

Directed by Ovidio G. Assonitis, written by Jerome Max, Tito (ALIEN FROM THE DEEP) Carpi and Steven W. Carabatsos, starring John (THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE) Huston, Bo (MUTANT) Hopkins, Shelley (PETE’S DRAGON) Winters, Henry (THE SWARM) Fonda, Delia Boccardo, Cesare (VALLEY OF THE DRAGONS) Danova, Sherry (ZOMBIE HOLOCAUST) Buchanan and Claude (BATTLE FOR THE PLANET OF THE APES) Akins.

People are being killed near a seaside town and marine biologist Will Gleason (Hopkins) and journalist Ned Turner (Huston) discover that the Trojan company, run by Mr Whitehead (Fonda), has been using ultrasonic drilling techniques, which have disturbed and enraged a giant octopus. With the death toll rising, Gleason, whose wife has been killed, finally uses two trained killer whales to take down the huge cephalopod.

TENTACLES, which was one of the many animal attack movies to come out after the success of JAWS, is laughed at and derided by many reviewers, who claim it is a really awful production.

A dead victim is pulled through the water with his feet in the air

But, and I really don’t fully know why, I (quite) like this cheese-tastic creature feature! I did see it in the theatre when it first came out, so I guess I’ve always retained a soft spot for it.

The score, by Stelvio Cipriani, is really nifty: full of harpsichords, plus some electronic music. To be honest, this soundtrack is far too good for the film!

Somehow the producers of this American-set Italian monster movie managed to snag John Huston, Henry Fonda, Shelly Winters and Bo Hopkins to appear in the film, with Hopkins and Huston coming across better onscreen compared to the others (though Huston does refer to the creature as a squid in one scene, rather than an octopus.)

Henry Fonda plays an unscrupulous businessman

The octopus attacks a boat — The octopus assaults a boat

Director Ovidio G. Assonitis, who also did uncredited work on PIRANHA II: THE SPAWNING, is no great talent, that’s for sure, but he does come up with some interesting stylistic choices, such as using still frames in a yacht attack sequence and doing some sequences without sound effects. He also manages to make the widescreen film look pretty good, considering it was produced on a low budget.

There’s an okay diving bell scene that has the giant octopus’ eye suddenly peering through the diving bell’s porthole, a decent nighttime attack on a boat stands out as one of the film’s better set pieces, plus an early sequence, where a child in a pushchair is unknowingly put in jeopardy, is pretty effective.

On the negative side, some plot threads are left dangling and most of the time the filmmakers merely use a real, normal-sized octopus to represent the monster, though prop tentacles and a prop octopus head & eye are featured sparingly. The film is also not very gory, unfortunately, and it ends with shots of a dead, real octopus being ripped to pieces by model killer whales!

So, if you go into this knowing it certainly has (a fair few) flaws, you might actually find the film watchable.

Here are various TENTACLES assets…

UK quad poster: I saw this double bill in the cinema!

Japanese poster painted by the late, great Noriyoshi Ohrai

Blu-ray cover art by Graham Humphreys for 88 Films

Impactful Brazilian artwork — Brazilian asset using Noriyoshi Ohrai’s artwork

One last look at the octopus…

The octopus sneaks up on a victim... — The octopus sneaks up on a victim…

The Trollenberg Terror (1958)

August 13, 2023 Ken Miller 4 Comments

It's comin' for ya! — It’s comin’ for ya!

Warren Mitchel, Jennifer Jayne and Forrest Tucker

Starring Forrest (THE ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN) Tucker, Laurence (VAMPIRE CIRCUS) Payne, Jennifer (THEY CAME FROM BEYOND SPACE) Jayne, Janet (DARBY O’GILL AND THE LITTLE PEOPLE) Munro, Warren (THE CURSE OF THE WEREWOLF) Mitchell, Frederick Schiller, Stuart Saunders and Andrew (JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS) Faulds. Written by Jimmy (THE BRIDES OF DRACULA) Sangster, produced by Robert S. Baker and Monty (BLOOD OF THE VAMPIRE) Berman, directed by Quentin (THE STRANGE WORLD OF PLANET X) Lawrence.

'The nightmare terror of the slithering eye that unleashed agonizing horror on a screaming world!' — ‘The nightmare terror of the slithering eye that unleashed agonizing horror on a screaming world!’

United Nations investigator Alan Brooks (Tucker), together with journo Philip Truscott (Payne) and Professor Crevett (Mitchell), investigates strange accidents occurring on Mount Trollenberg in the Swiss Alps. Brooks thinks that these deaths, which sometimes involve the removal of the victim’s head, could be linked to similar incidents that occurred several years earlier in the Andes, which included the same weird, lurking, radioactive cloud formation. Anne Pilgrim (Munro), who is part of a mind-reading act with her sister, is staying at the same mountain hotel as the others… and she begins to sense intelligences within the cloud formation…

Anne, looking concerned, sits in the mountain observatory

The aliens can control dead victims, turning them into killers

Known as THE CRAWLING EYE in the USA, this UK science fiction/horror movie is an enjoyable, low budget tale of cyclopean aliens lurking in a radioactive cloud that they can steer around the mountainside. The movie’s script was based on a six-part British TV series, which was also called THE TROLLENBERG TERROR. Actor Laurence Payne played the journalist character Philip Truscott in both the series and the movie adaptation.

A character is hoisted up into the air by the alien's tendril-like tentacle! — Philip is hoisted up into the air by the alien’s tendril-like tentacle!

The movie is a lot of fun, with obvious-but-pleasant matte paintings, model shots, decapitated victims, a siege in a fortified observatory, and undead human corpses. The real standouts, though, are the aliens, which are very cool-looking, one-eyed, blobby, vein-covered, tentacle-monsters that emit electronic wails and don’t like to be immolated with molotov cocktails!

Alan (Tucker) prepares to throw a molotov cocktail at a tentacle monster's face! — Alan (Tucker) prepares to throw a molotov cocktail at a tentacle monster’s face!

A molotov cocktail sets an alien alight! — One of the aliens goes up in flames

Alan Brooks (Tucker), with an alien burning away behind him — Alan Brooks with an alien burning away behind him

With the hint of a Quatermass vibe about it, the film has a creepy atmosphere and boasts some startling scenes, such as when one of the huge extraterrestrials smashes down the hotel door to menace a child, its single, veiny eyeball filling the doorway!

The siege finale is tense and well-handled, Forrest Tucker is solid as the stoic, no-nonsense UN troubleshooter who thinks on his feet, and Janet Munro brings a conviction to her role and is unimaginably cute as the psychic who the aliens try to kill by sending a reanimated dead man to attack her!

An alien-controlled dead dude strangles Anne!

"I'm gonna throw a bomb at that one" — “I’m gonna throw a bomb at that one…”

I am fully aware that some folks might poke fun at the cheap, 50s-era special effects, but I think Les Bowie and Brian Johnson (both uncredited) did wonders with the meagre budget they must’ve had to play with, concocting some truly distinctive movie monsters that really stick in the memory. Great stuff!

Alien abominations crawl up the steep, misty side of the mountain!

The evil extraterrestrials climb onto the roof of the observatory

A military plane drops firebombs onto the cold-loving creatures, frying them good and proper — A military plane drops firebombs onto the cold-loving creatures, frying them all!

German Blu-ray cover art by Rick Melton — German Blu-ray cover (art by UK artist Rick Melton)

Here’s a bunch of pulp-tastic posters…

US 30" x 40" poster — US 30″ x 40″ poster

THE TROLLENBERG TERROR, aka THE CRAWLING EYE, was released in a double bill with the British sci-fi-horror giant insect flick THE STRANGE WORLD OF PLANET X, which was retitled COSMIC MONSTERS in the USA. The manly Forrest Tucker starred in both of these movies! What a guy!

Okay, I can’t help it, I’ve got to include another shot of one of those damn fine aliens…

Hex After Hex (1982)

August 11, 2023 Ken Miller 3 Comments

The giant 'living' statue is behind you, buddy! — The giant ‘living’ statue is standing behind you, buddy!

Starring Lo Meng, Lily Chan, Lau Dan and Ma Chao. Directed by Kuei Chih-Hung for Shaw Brothers.

Lo Meng's painted face is featured in the opening credits — Lo Meng’s painted face is featured in the opening credits

A ghost (Chan) purposefully causes a car crash so that she can inhabit the body of the dead neighbour of Ma Su (Meng). Calling herself Pok Pok, she begins a relationship with the muscly Ma Su, who is at first unaware of her supernatural origins.

HEX AFTER HEX begins immediately after the events of HEX VS WITCHCRAFT (1980), which was itself a sequel to the much better, much more serious first film HEX (1980).

HEX AFTER HEX contains the same kind of broad humour, slapstick and silly, jumbled, undisciplined storyline as the previous movie in the series. Cross-eyed actor Ma Chao, who is never one to knowingly underact, returns for a third time, playing an arsonist who has the Shaw Brothers logo branded on his backside!

Darth Vader, er, I mean 'Black Knight' appears at one point — Darth Vader, er, I mean ‘Black Knight’ appears at one point

After making a bunch of demolition workers turn naked by hitting them with his (plastic-looking) lightsabre, the Black Night disappears

Other briefly diverting moments involve Pok Pok taking on the likeness of a lo-fi Yoda, then invoking a Darth Vader lookalike called Black Knight, who strikes at demolition workers with his green lightsabre, magically making their clothing vanish!

Pok Pok licks a lollipop... — Pok Pok licks a lollipop…

...then she transforms into this Yoda-like creature to freak out the demolition workers! — …then she transforms into this Yoda-like creature to freak out the demolition workers!

The film’s main subplot focuses on the heartless, stingy boss of a property business, who Pok Pok sets out to bankrupt after he evicts everyone from the building that she and Ma Su were living in. Pok Pok’s scheme involves becoming the company secretary, hanging out with the boss when he gambles, then making him think the worthless horse statuettes he is purchasing are actually made of solid gold. This storyline, unfortunately, is protracted, not particularly interesting or funny, and sidelines the Ma Su character for a big portion of the running time.

Matters become more engaging after Ma Su discovers that Pok Pok is a ghost, studies skills to allow the Tai Sheung God to enter his body, and tries to banish his spirit girlfriend.

Ma Su during his ritual to bring the Tai Sheung God into his body — Ma Su (Lo Meng) during his ritual to bring the Tai Sheung God into his body

Ultimately, Ma Su retains feelings for Pok Pok and saves her from a ritual which causes a statue of Thomas Jefferson to become animated, controlled by a priest’s movements, forcing Ma Su to invoke the Monkey God into his body so that he can fight the automaton.

The statue mimics the priest's movements! — The statue mimics the priest’s movements!

The Thomas Jefferson statue reaches out for Ma Su — The Thomas Jefferson statue (which resembles Lee Van Cleef if you ask me) reaches out for Ma Su

This scene, using a quite impressive statue costume, is way more professional looking than the special makeup effects seen earlier in the movie, such as Pok Pok’s cheap ghost mask and the crummy Yoda puppet.

Ma Su jumps onto the statue's shoulders and uses Monkey Style kung fu! — Ma Su jumps onto the statue’s shoulders and uses Monkey Style kung fu!

To cap off this man-vs-statue encounter, the Thomas Jefferson statue, bizarrely, reveals itself to be a kind of slot machine and starts spitting gold Krugerrand coins out of its mouth?!

Loads of gold Krugerrands start to spill from the statue's mouth!? — Loads of gold Krugerrands start to spill from the statue’s mouth!

Everyone gets rich! Hooray! The end!

Darby O’Gill and the Little People (1959)

August 9, 2023 Ken Miller 2 Comments

Darby and the king of the leprechauns peer from a window... — Darby and the king of the leprechauns peer from a window…

Starring Albert Sharpe, Janet (THE TROLLENBERG TERROR) Munro, Sean (HIGHLANDER) Connery, Jimmy O’Dea, Kieron (THE DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS) Moore, Estelle (THE MAGIC SWORD) Winwood and Walter Fitzgerald. Written by Lawrence Edward Watkin and directed by Robert (BEDKNOBS AND BROOMSTICKS) Stevenson.

A pre-production oil sketch by Peter Ellenshaw of King Brian's underground kingdom — A pre-production oil sketch by Peter Ellenshaw of King Brian’s underground kingdom

Darby O’Gill prefers to go down to the pub in the nearby Irish town of Rathcullen, to tell tales of his meetings with Brian Connors, the king of the leprechauns, rather than tend to Lord Fitzpatrick’s estate, which is his job. When Lord Fitzpatrick arrives and informs Darby (Sharpe) that he is going to be moved out of his lovely gatehouse so that Michael McBride (Connery), a younger, fitter man, can take over the upkeep of the estate, Darby asks Michael to keep this a secret from his daughter Katie (Munro) for a while. Michael reluctantly agrees to this, starts to fall for Katie, but, when she eventually finds out that she and her father must leave the gatehouse, Katie becomes very upset and storms away… but a banshee is waiting for her on the nearby mountain…

At one point the little people ride little horses!

DARBY O’GILL AND THE LITTLE PEOPLE is a wonderfully-formed gem of a fantasy film. Its plot is perfectly structured: at the start we get to see Darby spinning his yarns in the pub, talking about his attempts to get gold from the leprechauns, and then the ticking clock element of the script is promptly added, when Lord Fitzpatrick informs Darby that he doesn’t have long before he must vacate the gatehouse so that Michael can move in. This spurs Darby to try and catch Brian in order to hopefully get the pot of gold that will keep Katie and himself financially secure. Darby intensifies his tricky battle of wits with Brian, but a meddling local woman (Winwood), who is hoping to secure the groundsman job for her bullyboy son Pony Sugrue (Moore), makes sure that Katie discovers the truth about Darby losing his job, triggering Katie’s fateful trek up the mountainside, chasing the family horse. This is when Katie takes a tumble and catches a fever. With a creepy banshee signalling that something terrible is on its way, Darby sees a death coach flying through the night sky, heading for the gatehouse to take away Katie’s soul. Darby begs for his soul to be driven away by the headless coach-driver and not his daughter’s – and so Darby is transported skywards by the coach, where he is visited by Brian… who encourages Darby to make a final wish…

Darby plies Brian with drink and tricks him into staying with him until the sun rises, which will mean the leprechaun loses his powers until night falls again

Shot in the USA, this Disney production used exquisite Peter Ellenshaw matte paintings to concoct an idealised Irish picture book world and utilised brilliantly-designed in-camera forced perspective special effects to bring the little people to the screen.

Above: three stills featuring atmospheric matte shots of the ruins on top of the mountain

Based on stories by Irish writer Herminie Templeton Kavanagh, DARBY O’GILL AND THE LITTLE PEOPLE handles the scenes of fantasy well, with Darby turning out to be the only character who actually sees the various folkloric beings, which include the leprechauns, the banshee, a horse that momentarily changes colour to become a ‘pooka’ creature, and the headless coach-driver. Even when Darby does try to show the king of the leprechauns to other people, all anybody else ever sees is a rabbit in a bag.

Janet Munro plays Katie O'Gill. The year before she played a psychic sister terrorised by cyclopean aliens in THE TROLLENBERG TERRO — Janet Munro plays Katie O’Gill. The year before she played a psychic called Anne, who was terrorised by cyclopean aliens in THE TROLLENBERG TERROR

The finale becomes somewhat darker in tone once the banshee appears near Katie’s unconscious body. Darby tries to ward the female spirit away, though the banshee is merely a scary sign of impending doom, and it is Dullahan, the headless coach-driver, who Darby must really deal with, which he does by volunteering to get onboard the death coach instead of his daughter. Things obviously turn out fine for everyone in this live action Disney flick, which ends with Sean Connery having a barroom fistfight with Kieron Moore! Nice!

As Darby is driven away in the death-coach he is visited by Brian

Connery and Munro are good as the young couple – and they even get to sing together! But the film belongs to Albert Sharpe as Darby O’Gill and Jimmy O’Dea, who is especially good as Brian the king of the little folk.

Jimmy O'Dea as Brian — Jimmy O’Dea is great as the leprechaun king

The film’s highlights include Darby’s visit to the leprechauns’ underground kingdom, Peter Ellenshaw’s moody matte paintings of the ruins atop Knocknasheega mountain, and the looming spectre of the banshee. All in all, this good-natured Technicolor film, which is full of wish-making and blarney, is a cracking yarn!

Darby in the land of the little folk, just before he tricks them into releasing him

Okay, one last look at the banshee…

A Chinese Ghost Story III (1991)

August 3, 2023 Ken Miller Leave a comment

Written by Roy Szeto Wai-Cheuk and Tsui Hark, starring Tony Leung Chiu-Wai, Jacky Cheung, Joey Wong, Lau Shun, Lau Siu-Ming and Nina Li Chi. Directed by Ching Siu-Tung, produced by Tsui Hark, with action by Ching Siu-Tung, Yuen Bun, Ma Yuk-Sing and Cheung Yiu-Sing.
A Film Workshop/Golden Princess Amusement Co. Ltd production.

Not the smoothest complexion I've ever seen — Not the smoothest complexion I’ve ever seen

Set a hundred years after the events of the first movie, the tree demon is on the loose again, controlling some beautiful ghosts. The hero this time is a Buddhist monk nicely played by Tony Leung, and Joey Wong is once again the ghostly love interest.

The ghostly heroine (Wong) and the tree demon

The original A CHINESE GHOST STORY from 1987 was a horror-martial-arts-ghost-comedy-romance that masterfully merged all its elements very well. This sequel, on the other hand, is far more weighted towards romantic slapstick comedy and is less focused on the sword fights and monsters. This is a shame as the tree demon’s giant killer tongue returns in this movie, but is not used as much as it could have been.

We do get some brief monstrous moments, though, when a temple building comes to life and the giant stone head of a mountain demon is briefly seen.

A mountain demon's stony face roars — A mountain demon’s stony face roars

A temple 'comes to life' — A temple ‘comes to life’ and grows ‘limbs’

There’s some novel stuff to look out for too, like the master monk stretching his earlobes to cover his eyes when he’s caught by the tree demon: this ‘ear technique’ is quite weird looking!

The Buddhist master extends his earlobes so that they can cover his eyes!

There’s also a ghost girl who can extend her fingernails super-long, but this movie, ultimately, though it boasts some winning performances, simply lacks the heart, the verve and the visual flair of the far better original.

The Super Inframan (1975)

July 23, 2023 Ken Miller Leave a comment

'The man beyond bionics'! — ‘The man beyond bionics’!

Starring Danny Lee, Terry Liu, Dana, Wang Hsieh and Yuan Man-Tzu. Written by Ni Kuang. Directed by Hua Shan for Shaw Brothers.

Our hero Rayma, played by Danny (THE OILY MANIAC) Lee!

Surfacing from within her lair inside the volcanic Mount Devil, evil Princess Elzebub (aka Princess Dragon Mom) vows to conquer Earth.

Princess Elzebub always wears a golden, horned helmet

Princess Elzebub addresses her monstrous minions

Princess Elzebub, wearing her special 'reptile head' glove, uses an electrified whip to fight Inframan during the finale — Elzebub, wearing her special ‘reptile head’ glove, uses an electrified whip to fight Inframan during the finale

To stop Elzebub’s world domination plans, Professor Liu initiates the BDX plan, using special devices and hormones to transform Rayma (Lee) into the saviour of mankind. The logic and science behind this process is sketchy at best, but Rayma is duly turned into a red-suited hero with a bug-man robo-face… yes, it’s Inframan!

Rayma (Danny Lee) begins to transform on Professor Liu's operating table... — Rayma begins to transform on Professor Liu’s operating table…

...and he starts to turn into Inframan! — …and he turns into Inframan!

Professor Liu gives Inframan instructions

The foes that Inframan must contend with include Witch Eye, a scantily-clad villainess with a cone bra, horned helmet, knee-high boots and clawed glove-hands with eyes in their palms, Mutant Drill, a blobby dude with one shovel hand and one drill hand, Fire Dragon, a fire-breathing bad guy with a red moustache, green scales, fangs and a gold helmet, and Plant Monster, a man-in-suit creature with tendrils and the ability to sink into the ground. One monster, looking like a manic version of Cousin Itt from THE ADDAMS FAMILY, has long hair, can fire laser beams and cackles a lot.

Cackling villain with long hair fires lasers from its hands

Visually, the film is a riot of over-the-top art direction, with some wonderful comic book-esque sets featuring dragon fountains, skeletons, skull-faced decor and machinery with blinking lights. The carved entrance to Elzebub’s HQ, for instance, resembles a monster’s mouth.

You gotta love these Shaw Brothers sets, right?!

Inside Elzebub's underground base — Inside Elzebub’s underground base

There are loads of fun sequences to watch out for in this film, one highlight being Plant Monster’s attack on Professor Liu’s research building, where the vegetable-beast becomes a mass of giant, fast-growing rubber vines! The massive plant envelopes the place and the battle that follows is a real hoot, with Hong Kong stunt guys getting knocked around by the terrible tendrils!

Giant vines wrap around the heroes' HQ! — Giant vines wrap around the heroes’ HQ!

Battling the wriggling vines! — Battling the wriggling plant tendrils!

Another cool moment features a red bug-dude who rapidly enlarges, so Inframan (just like his Japanese Tokusatsu hero counterparts) grows in size too! This is all done using forced perspective, seen from a low angle, with some slo-mo shots, making this giant showdown an effectively-handled, standout scene in the film.

This bug-dude has three compound eyes... — This bug-dude has three compound eyes…

...and the gigantic bug-dude tries to squish Inframan... — …and the gigantic bug-dude tries to squish Inframan…

...so Inframan grows in size too! — …so Inframan grows in size too!

The plot may be inconsequential, but that doesn’t really matter, as THE SUPER INFRAMAN is non-stop fun from beginning to end. You get to see a mass fight between the silver-suited good guys and Princess Elzebub’s Skeleton Warrior minions in a studio set full of skull carvings and creature skeletons. When the Skeleton Warriors get shot they tend to explode!

...and Skeleton Warriors start exploding! — …and Skeleton Warriors start exploding!

Goodies and baddies fight it out in a sound stage set full of giant ribcages and skulls

Then we get to witness a fight between Inframan and two mechanical monster-men, who can launch their extendable heads and propel spiked mace-hands at him on retractable metal springs!

Inframan squares off against the two mechanical men!

These metal dudes each have a red-painted mace-hand

The mace-hands are spring-loaded and can be fired at Inframan!

At one point Professor Liu is kidnapped and whisked away in a speedboat, accompanied by a Skeleton Warrior and Mutant Drill

Inframan has his own special tricks too, of course: he can eject his Thunder Fist gloves, enabling him to punch stuff from a distance, plus he can fire laser blade beams, which, during one confrontation, slice off both of Witch Eye’s hands!

Witch Hands uses a large laser-firing weapon to attack Inframan... — Witch Eye uses a large laser-firing weapon to attack Inframan…

...but she gets her hands cut off by Inframan's crescent-shaped laser blade beams... — …but Witch Eye gets her hands cut off by Inframan’s crescent-shaped laser blade beams…

...and Inframan kicks the villainess into a lava pit! — …and Inframan kicks the handless villainess through a trapdoor, into a lava pit! Ruthless!

One of the good guys, Zhu Min, is captured by the mad menagerie of villains and is brainwashed

For fans of Japanese-style Tokusatsu action, this Chinese take on the genre, which is also known simply as INFRA-MAN, is an awesome addition, with the folks at Shaw Brothers really putting a lot of effort into this: you get kung fu fights galore with acrobatic flips, somersaults and loud punching sound effects, pyrotechnics, cell-animated laser beams, brainwashing, some iffy flying shots, lots of extras in costumes, a fiery lava pit, a glacial cave set, and a finale in which Elzebub turns into a winged monster that can regrow its head when Inframan cuts it off!