Tag Archives: Chinese creature feature

The Wolves (2022)

Starring Ryan Kuo (Guo Jindong), Shi Zhenlong, Ma Yuan and Liu Yihan. Written by Rocky, Huang Siyuan and Qiu Junyang. Directed by Rocky and Huang Siyuan. Produced by Wu Yu, Kan Lun, Yu Yang and Rocky. 
Xiamen Gongli Film & television Co. Ltd/United Production Company

A passenger plane comes down in the snowy wastes of Siberia
A passenger plane comes down in the snowy wastes of Siberia

After a teaser opener showing a hunter falling prey to giant wolves in a cave, we cut to a bunch of characters on a passenger plane, which almost immediately crashes into a Siberian wilderness, and – soon after the crash – a big wolf makes an appearance: the filmmakers are not messing around with slow build-ups here!

Please note that the wolves in the movie are nowhere near as scary or cool as the beast depicted in this promotional artwork!
Please note that the wolves in the movie are nowhere near as scary or cool as the beast depicted in this promotional artwork!

These canine creatures have long, cat-like tails and lower jaws that can split in two (but this ability to super-widen the wolves’ mouths is soon forgotten and not shown again in the movie). The survivors, including main hero Song Wu, his autistic daughter Jingwen, and Professor Ning, gather together in part of the wrecked plane’s fuselage, making a fire to keep the critters at bay. Professor Ning is working on theories concerning mutant wolves and Song Wu happens to be a wolf expert: well, that’s all quite convenient!

A mega-sized wolf!
A mega-sized wolf!

With firewood running out, everyone decides to trek across the snowy landscape (with the ropey, unrealistic CGI wolves sensibly kept mainly in the shadows), and the group reaches an area of trees where they’re able to make new fires to scare away the vicious varmints.

It's a shame the CGI wolves just ain't that well rendered
It’s a shame the CGI wolves just ain’t that well rendered

Most scenes in THE WOLVES are shot in virtual environments (with some sets included too) that definitely look artificial, but it does all add to the heightened adventure style of the story, as characters negotiate sheer cliffs and narrow mountain ledges.

Again, I must reiterate that the wolves in the film itself are not as impressive as the canine critters featured in the posters!
Again, I must reiterate that the wolves in the film itself are not as impressive as the canine critters featured in the posters!

After a female character, Nana, cuts the rope attaching herself to the others in order to save them from being dragged to their deaths off the high craggy ledge with her (blimey, mainland Chinese films love a bit of self-sacrifice), the survivors encounter a tribal chief. This Siberian wiseman informs them that another expedition had come here years earlier, after which the giant wolves appeared…

Standing near a sheer cliff edge
Standing near a sheer cliff edge

Once the characters reach the tribal village there are some half-decent attempts at creating suspense, though showing a wolf creeping around a building, putting its paw on a person’s shoulder like a sinister stalker, does edge matters closer to becoming silly rather than scary. But at least a modicum of tension is generated in these sequences, especially when Jingwen attempts to retrieve a walkie-talkie that has fallen outside of the hut. 

When Jingwen is taken (in an offscreen incident) by the wolves, Song Wu heads over to the cavernous wolf den to save his daughter. Here he stumbles upon an illegal nuclear dumping site, which is, of course, the reason the wolves have mutated, leading to one of the critters becoming super-massive. 

The wolf den is located in a large cave
The wolf den is located in a large cave

Song Wu manages to save a village child, but can’t find Jingwen, so, after an overly-melodramatic crying scene triggered by the death of Song Wu’s mate Bao, Song Wu prepares to go on a second mission back into the cave to retrieve Jingwen. As Song Wu smudges camo paint on his face, he muses that the giant wolves, which have become intelligent, must have decided to take Jingwen as a hostage so that they could draw all the humans to the cave-den to be killed. Song Wu marches stoically towards the cave, with his face no longer covered in camo makeup (?!), following a trail of bracelet beads left by his daughter. He moves deeper into the cavern to extract Jingwen, but knows he has only so much time before explosives are detonated to destroy the den. Father and daughter reunite and they succeed in reaching the cave entrance, but here they must take on the humongous boss wolf. Hey, but don’t worry: Song Wu gets his hands on a batch of dynamite! 

Song Wu faces-off against the giant wolf pack leader...
Song Wu faces-off against the giant wolf pack leader…

Though the filmmakers do attempt to infuse the finale with some heartfelt father-and-daughter bonding, the movie is more likely to be remembered for the poorly-rendered wolf monsters that ultimately sink this project.

Mutant Tiger (2022)

This film boasts a pretty neat nighttime sword sword fight in the rain!
This film boasts a pretty kinetic nighttime sword sword fight in the rain!

Starring Xie Miao, Hong Jianing, Xiang Hao, Zhang Haosen and Wang Yukai. Written by Yang Bingjia and directed by Liu Wenpu.
Beijing Bona Film & Television Culture Co.

Poster

The Great Eunuch orders the large-scale hunting of tigers after being informed that the big cats can be used to create Tiger Golden Elixir, which will increase his ‘yang energy’ (this elixir is extracted from tigers after they’ve been scorched with an ancient form of flamethrower!) Liang City, situated near the southwest border, behind Thousand Mile Tiger Ridge, is used as the HQ (referred to as the Eastern Depot) for this tiger-hunting operation. But one of the captive tigers escapes, transmits ‘plague’ to the wild tiger population, and eventually the area is besieged by killer felines! Meanwhile, Zhang (Miao), new to the Imperial Guard, balks at being ordered to kill a rebel’s daughter, and he takes out the other guards instead, in a snazzily-shot sword skirmish during a nighttime downpour. He then heads for the Eastern Depot to look for his brother Liuping, a tiger hunter, and Zhang soon finds himself caught up in the tiger attacks. 

Xie Miao is really quite good as the hero, Zhang
Xie Miao is really quite good as the hero, Zhang

In due course Zhang discovers that the Eunuch’s warlock has infected the tigers with a rabies-like distemper to create the Tiger Golden Elixir. These tigers, just like dogs with rabies, fear water, which Zhang intends to use to his advantage, to help save a group of survivors trapped in an inn.

Smirk-faced tiger
Smirk-faced killer tiger!

The CGI tigers ain’t all that, but the action in general, choreographed by action director Qin Pengfei, is good, and viewers are not shortchanged with regard to the amount of onscreen monster mayhem. Xie Miao, as Zhang, carries the movie with a committed performance, exuding a distinctive Ti Lung vibe throughout. This dude is pretty good.

Mutant tigers attack

There’s a full-on tiger attack on the walled settlement of Liang City, with lots of folks falling victim to the scabrous beasts (every tiger in the world must be here, I reckon, based on the sheer number of striped felines shown in these scenes!) Though they’re far from the best CGI critters ever committed to film, an occasional close-up of a tiger does look pretty sweet, with these killer cats possessing a semi-smirking expression on their faces.

Cool French streaming poster
Cool poster

MUTANT TIGER, aka MUTANT TIGER CHRONICLES, is a decent period-set creatures-attack adventure romp that does kill off characters I was sure would survive, including three lacy robes-clad fighting femmes. In recent Chinese films you can never be certain if the hero will make it to the end, and here Zhang has a last stand confrontation on a rope bridge, which is a nicely handled sequence, showing him fighting off tigers and one of the imperial villains, who has swallowed the coveted Tiger Golden Elixir pill and has become a zombie-like, white-eyed, black-toothed, rabid dude who can command the cats! A mid-credits scene, however, does offer hope for Zhang’s chances of surviving the tiger invasion…

Poster

Creature of the Mist (2020)

Poster

Starring Luo Liqun, Cheng Qimeng, Li Bairong and Yang Ming. Directed by Lu Lei, written by Chen Chong and Lu Lei. Produced by Runze Guo and Hui Qian.

Fog envelopes the city
Fog envelopes the city

During the Tang Dynasty a mysterious fog envelopes the city of Chang’an… and within the mists looms a gigantic Lovecraftian monstrosity. And there are other, smaller beasts lurking inside the fog too! The Crown Prince (Qimeng) and his loyal protector, Xiao (Liqun), who are walking the city streets at the time, escape the spike-tipped tentacles that start lunging from the foggy skies by hiding out in the Chang’an Guesthouse, where others are also trapped, including a stern swordswoman, an old hunter, and a courtesan.

The massive main monster looms above the city of Chang'an
The massive main monster looms above the city of Chang’an

Some of the people within the guesthouse decide to sneak out to get weapons from a nearby blacksmith, and as they make their way along the deserted streets they can hear the grumbling, growling sounds of the mega-monster, noises that issue from all around them in the fog. But the group is assaulted by the mist monsters, the mission to the blacksmith is aborted, and the survivors are forced to continue to hunker down inside the guesthouse.

The spiked tentacle strikes!
A spiked tentacle strikes!
There a thicker tentacles that are equipped with mouthparts capable of swallowing victims whole
The giant fog monster possesses thicker tentacles that are equipped with mouthparts capable of swallowing victims whole

The plot includes a backstory concerning an ethnic group, referred to as Inhumans, who were blamed for an assassination attempt on the Emperor years ago, and are now seething with hate for the rulers. There are other characters who have varying views concerning the royal family too, both positive and negative, which the undercover Crown Prince finds fascinating.

The situation becomes very tense within the guesthouse
The situation becomes very tense within the guesthouse

Monster-wise, as well as the gargantuan central beast that looms above the streets, the movie includes lumpy-skinned, long-tailed, leopard-sized reptile creatures that can eject organic spine-projectiles.

A reptile critter on the prowl
Above: two shots of one of the reptile critters
Above: two shots of the reptile critters

There are also small, bat-winged critters with heads that can completely peel back, enabling them to envelope the faces of victims. The courtesan suffers such a fate, and she kills herself afterwards, rather than live with a ruined face.


A winged mini-monster's face peels open in a squid-like manner...
A winged mini-monster’s face peels open in a squid-like manner…
The courtesan's face gets mangled by a flying bat-beastie!
…and the flying bat-beastie then mangles the face of a hapless courtesan!

Just like the Chinese monster flick MUTANT TIGER (2022), this production is a mainland Chinese period-set creature feature that offsets its nothing-special CGI with decent production values, a stoic, solid lead performance, and a simple but interesting horror-fantasy plot. There are some interesting touches here and there, such as the nicely-handled sequence showing the courtesan doing a dance performance, which prompts Xiao to recall walking through the city before the fog came, passing by characters who will end up trapped in the guesthouse with him. The film’s quite brief running time still allows some space for a few dramatic showdowns, including the moment a vengeance-seeking Inhuman gangster releases a powerful incense designed to attract the ferocious foggy fiends to them, resulting, he hopes, in the Prince getting killed. When a boatman, a guesthouse attendant, and the steely swordswoman all die as they protect the Crown Prince from the attacking creatures, this deeply moves the Prince, and he vows to live on so that he can right all the wrongs of his royal predecessors and hopefully bring peace to the nation.

Poster
One of the smaller mist monsters is killed
One of the smaller mist monsters is killed

A detachment of golden-armoured royal warriors eventually arrive in the nick of time, dispensing stuff that, somehow, wards off the creatures. The humongous main monster, which has a bulky, blobby body held aloft by multiple tentacle-legs, retreats through the fog, away from the city. This movie, also known as CHANG’AN FOG MONSTER, is a contained monster-horror-fantasy yarn for the most part, set almost entirely inside the guesthouse, with the gigantic, spike-tentacled, mainly unseen boss beast treated both as a real threat and also as a kind of otherworldly symbol of the anger that has been inflamed by the perceived injustices perpetrated by those in power.

Just what is this humongous creature?
Just what is this humongous creature?

Water Monster 2 (2021)

The aquatic being known as Lord Water Monkey
The aquatic being known as Lord Water Monkey

Starring Wang Zhener, Han Dong, Liu Lincheng and Wang Jianguo. Written by Chien Shih-Keng. Directed by Xiang Qiuliang and Xiang Hesheng. Produced by Guo Runze, Jing Wu and Xiang Weibin.
Beijing Tmeng Network Technology Co/Hainan Golden Seagull Media

Cool poster
Cool poster

A forensic doctor, Du (Zhener), ventures to a misty, boggy settlement called Shangshui Town to look for her missing brother. The townsfolk are not too willing to help her, however, because they are in thrall to a superstition involving an aquatic monster they call Lord Water Monkey, whom they fear might punish them if they get involved. Du digs deeper into the local mysteries, people continue to get killed, she finds her brother’s body, and plans are made to trap the swamp-beast, but things are not as they seem…

Wang Zhener plays the gun-toting doctor Du
Wang Zhener plays the gun-toting doctor Du
A villager wearing a ceremonial mask
A villager wearing a ceremonial mask

This sequel to WATER MONSTER (2019), made by the same two directors, tells a different story with different characters, and is a pleasingly shot and art directed production, using the waterlogged, mist enshrouded locations effectively.

Another poster
Another poster

Central to the enjoyment of WATER MONSTER 2 is Wang Zhener’s performance as the outsider who, after black and white flashbacks, dreams, and meetings with various characters, learns that her name is actually Qingling and she originally lived in this town as a girl, involved in a tragic backstory inextricably linked to the origins of Lord Water Monkey. Zhener has a well maintained composure about her, playing Qingling/Du as a calm, smart and driven character. She really stands out, especially in a sub-genre (modern Chinese creature features) where many female leads teeter on being pretty, tough and rather one-dimensional. This film might feature a slimy, leaping marsh monster, but it is obvious that Zhener is totally committed to her role and really shines in every scene.

Wang Zhener is good as the forensic doctor
Wang Zhener is good as the forensic doctor
At one point the locals want to use Du as a human sacrifice
At one point the locals want to use Du as a human sacrifice

The town people’s ceremonies, aimed at appeasing the water monster, which they regard as a deity, imbue the film with a folk horror atmosphere, while a fast-paced sequence showing the eventual capture of Lord Water Monkey injects some vital energy into the tale. This set piece is full of invention, as Qingling and a group of locals use a series of elaborate boobytraps and other rope & wooden mechanisms to attack the Gollum-esque creature, keep the heroine out of harm’s way, and then trap the man-beast.

Above: two shots showing the local folks taking part in their Lord Water Monkey ceremony
Above: three shots showing the local folks taking part in their Lord Water Monkey ceremony

The story now takes an interesting turn, as Qingling uncovers information revealing that the town elders are corrupt, lying opium-smuggling gangsters: they are the real culprits behind the ongoing spate of child disappearances and murders! The slimy-skinned, hunched, ridge-backed water ‘monster’ turns out to be Qinghe, the biological brother of Qingling, a sibling she’d lost all memories of. Qinghe’s grotesque form is, it’s explained, due to a rare hereditary disease, and his feral nature was triggered by the vile actions of the elders many years ago. After these revelations, Qingling finally gets to fight back against the bad guys and really looks striking as she goes into action, keeping commendably cool, wearing her traditional cheongsam dress and toting a rifle that she’s ready and willing to use!

Above: two pics showing the poor deformed, slimy Qinghe
Above: two pics showing the deformed, slimy Qinghe

The titular aquatic monster is often CGI in the fast-moving action shots, but he looks much better when a practical creature suit is used, especially during the finale, where we can see Qinghe in more detail. Here the heavily deformed Qinghe is treated in an empathetic manner, as he overcomes his urges to harm his sister, then dies saving child slave opium workers from drowning. It’s actually quite a touching finale!

Above: four more shots of Qinghe, formerly known as Lord Water Monkey
Above: four more shots of Qinghe, formerly known as Lord Water Monkey

WATER MONSTER 2 is well-handled, well-paced and is, all in all, an entertaining murder-mystery-creature-feature-drama.

Poor Qinghe…

The Cyan Dragon (2020)

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is the-yan-dragon-copy.jpg
This movie features a many-headed monstrosity!
This movie features a many-headed monstrosity!

Starring Cui Erkang, Zhang Ruiyao, Su Suxia, Cheng Qi, Zhang Ying and Yin Shaosheng. Written by Liu Jiahong and Wang Runz. Directed by Ji Zhizhong and Tony Wei. Tencent Penguin Pictures

One of the hydra-creature's toothy heads
One of the hydra-creature’s toothy heads

A dying general transfers the power of the Cyan Dragon into the body of Xiang, a lowly footsoldier, who must learn to harness the energy to defeat an enemy nation led by a villain capable of beckoning a massive, multi-headed monster. The general’s sister, Ling, tutors Xiang on how to use his powers while they head for the frontline of the war, but Xiang must contend with his instincts to avoid the oncoming danger… and he also starts to fall in love with Ling.

Xiang and Ling
Xiang and Ling

THE CYAN DRAGON is a Chinese-made flick that starts with acrobatic 300-style war scenes, set within green screen-type virtual vistas, that are very cool and exciting to watch, with lots of wirework and characters utilising different powers.

Soldiers are routed by the villain's multi-headed serpent beast!
Soldiers are routed by the villain’s multi-headed serpent beast!

This is where we’re first introduced to a group of masked bad guys who look great on-screen. They each have their own supernatural skills: one killer leaves a smoke-like black trail as he swiftly moves about, another has a hand that transforms into a swollen lava-fist, and the chief villain is able to summon a hydra-creature from beneath the earth.

This dude can turn his hand into a big lava-fist!
This dude can turn his hand into a big lava-fist!
The masked bad dudes and their hydra-monster!
The masked bad dudes and their hydra-monster!

During this opening skirmish we also get to see how the power of the Cyan Dragon can be used, as the doomed heroic general restructures the material of his sword, causing it to become super-extended, so that he can skewer many adversaries onto his blade at the same time. This battle set piece is great fun and thrilling to watch, so it’s a pity that it is the only such large scale fight featured in the movie.

The lead villains all wear masks
The lead villains all wear masks

With Xiang becoming the host to the Cyan Dragon energy, the plot takes time to show us how the protagonist is initially rather unheroic, needing warrior woman Ling to keep him on track. Xiang, Ling and a couple of escorts set off on their mission, where they are stalked by the masked dudes, who use a kind of floating, brass spying drone-device to track them.

Ling, the fighting femme heroine
Ling is the stern, fighting-femme heroine

The ending sees Xiang and Ling fighting the remaining chief villain in a snowy landscape, trying to survive as the baddie briefly subdivides into three different warriors and then expands in size to become a giant fighter with a fiery halo.

The main antagonist becomes extra-evil!
The main antagonist becomes extra-evil!

When Ling is killed by the villain, Xiang screams in anger and sadness, zooms upwards through the clouds, out  of Earth’s atmosphere, entering the void of space! Then he powers back down to Earth, now dressed as the fully-armoured fighter Cyan Dragon!

Our hero slams back down to Earth and says... "My name is Cyan Dragon!"
Our hero slams back down to Earth and says… “My name is Cyan Dragon!”

Cyan Dragon mauls the masked chief, but the villain has one ace left up his sleeve, as he summons the many-headed super-beast once again!

The return of the hydra-critter!
The return of the hydra-critter!
For a while the villain becomes part of the gigantic monster itself, by melding with its throbbing innards
For a while the villain becomes part of the gigantic monster itself, by melding with its throbbing innards

This finale, with the totally CGI Cyan Dragon warrior battling the CGI hydra monster in a CGI landscape, is little more than glorified computer game footage, but it’s fun to watch nonetheless.

When Xiang becomes encased in his armour he does look very CGI, there's no doubt about that, but the action's fun to watch anyway
When Xiang becomes encased in his armour he does look very CGI, there’s no doubt about that, but the action’s enjoyable to watch anyway

The movie is entertaining and thrilling in places, with lots of wirework and too-cool-for-school villains. It’s a shame, then, that the film is so short. It would’ve been more satisfying to see Xiang spend time to fully explore the growth of his powers, and the notion that his energy can be personified and interacted with (it leaves his body a couple of times and takes on the form of a small dragon-creature) should really have been dwelt on longer.

Above: three shots from a scene where Xiang chats with a tiny dragon, which is the embodiment of the energy now inside him
Above: three shots from a scene where Xiang chats with a tiny dragon, which is the embodiment of the energy now inside him

The movie is also known by the title BLUE DRAGON OF ALIEN BATTLEGEAR.

The armoured Cyan Dragon warrior versus the huge hydra-monster!
The armoured Cyan Dragon warrior versus the huge hydra-monster!

Rat Disaster (2021)

Killer rats on a steam train!
Killer rats on a steam train!
Help us!
Help us!

Starring Xia Yi-Yao, Zhu Ya, Mu Sa, Yin Chao-Te and Zhang Lei. Written by Hou Shuang and Zhang Shengfan. Directed by Lin Zhenzhao.
Jiangsu Zhonglele Film/Hubei Changjiang Publishing & Media Group Co.

Overrun by rats!
Swamped by rats!

A doctor called Su Zhenghai (Chao-Te), his young son Yue Sheng and his two grown-up daughters Ting Ting (Yi-Yao) & Ling Ling (Ya) find themselves on a steam train on the verge of being overrun by disease-ridden, murderous rats! 

Can any of the passengers survive the rodent onslaught?!
Can any of the passengers survive this rodent onslaught?!

Also known as JUNKRAT TRAIN and RATS ON A TRAIN, this mainland Chinese movie is set during the period of the Republic of China and definitely delivers on what its title promises.

Quite an interesting composition
Quite an interesting composition

We don’t have to wait too long before swarms of (not-too-hot CGI) rodents start cascading from the roof of the carriages, engulfing anyone unfortunate enough to be anywhere near them.

Loads and loads of rats fall from the carriage ceiling!
Loads and loads of rats fall from the carriage ceiling!

The survivors rush to the front end of the train (a real steam train is used, which is cool), only to discover that those who have been bitten and lived are now showing signs of Yersinia infection, a disease which will definitely kill them, but there could be salvation; Su Zhenghai informs everyone that he works for the National Health Administration and knows that Sulfanilamide medicine, a cure for the disease, is stored at a hospital in the town their train is about to reach. The locomotive stops at the designated station and Su Zhenghai disembarks, leading a small group on a mission to get the medicine, but time is of the essence, because the train driver will only wait for two hours and then he’ll be forced to leave before nightfall… because the light-hating rats will be swarming everywhere once the sun sets. 

Sometimes the rats pile on top of each other like the zombies did in WORLD WAR Z
Sometimes the rats pile on top of each other like the zombies did in WORLD WAR Z

Entering the rodent-devastated town, the group must traverse a street littered with many corpses and then cross over an alley packed with rats. They finally reach the hospital, which has been trashed by more rats…

The group stays in the sunlight and the rats lurk in the shadows
The group stays in the sunlight and the rats lurk in the shadows

The rodent scenes definitely work better in darker locations, where the poor quality of the CGI rats can be obscured by low lighting, such as the sequence involving the characters venturing into the dungeon-like bowels of the wrecked hospital. Here the intrepid team finally finds the medicine in a gloomy, dank storage area, which is also the home of a massive rat’s nest. The medicine is grabbed, but the protagonists must run for their lives now, as a tsunami of rats spill from the towering nest. Floods of rats pour from every building like a furry tidal wave as our heroes hurriedly exit the town!

If he's gonna die he's gonna make sure he kills some of the rats too!
If he’s gonna die he’s gonna make sure he takes some of the rats with him: boom!

Back at the parked locomotive there’s a nicely-handled moment where the old train driver, accepting his fate, begins to sing a melancholy song as his carriage is swamped by vermin. This is a sweet example of how Chinese and Hong Kong movies can unexpectedly switch tone in a story and make the mood-shift work wonderfully.

Drivin' through a swarm of rats
Drivin’ through a swarm of rats

Doctor Su Zhenghai, played by Yin Chao-Te, remains unwavering throughout, never allowing himself to give up, unlike most of the other characters, finally inspiring the survivors (after his daughter gives an impassioned speech) to join forces and help push a derailed carriage off the train track so that they can escape. With some scenes of self-sacrifice and the virtues of everyone working for the common good highlighted at the end, this film’s message must surely be one that the Chinese authorities wholeheartedly condone. Looking past the political box-ticking, the mix of selflessness and cooperation does work well and adds some poignancy to the finale. And probably only an Asian film would end with a main character getting overwhelmed by ravenous rodents while the camera focuses on flower blossoms in the foreground to create a zen-like moment of sadness.

The rats are behind you, mate!
The rats are behind you, mate!

If you’re willing to look past the less-than-stellar rodent special effects (they really are quite poor), RAT DISASTER is a solid merging of horror, disaster and animals-on-the-attack movies, with some on-the-nose family dramatics also blended into the genre mixture.

Oh no! It's a rat disaster!
Oh no! It’s a rat disaster!

Rising Boas in a Girl’s School (2022)

The main giant serpent attacks security guards!
The main giant serpent attacks security guards!

Starring Zheng Long, Peng Bo, Shi Xuanru, Pang Yong and Cao Tiankai. Written by Xie Wenjun, directed by Guo Yulong and Xie Wenjun. Produced by Li Shi.

Cool bit of promotional art
Cool bit of promotional art

A ginormous snake escapes from a snake farm (that’d been using illegal growth hormones in its feed to breed larger reptiles for its snakeskin handbag business) and slinks down to the nearby Haixi Flight Attendant Aviation College, where it runs amok, accompanied by masses of regular-sized, aggressive serpents. A valiant security guard (Long) and a feisty student (Bo) team-up to help a group of survivors holed up in the college buildings live through the ordeal.

The huge snake claims another victim!
The huge snake claims another victim!

This film should technically have been called ‘Rising Boas in a Flight Attendant Aviation College’, but I guess that title was far less punchy! Setting this film in this location does provide the filmmakers with an excuse to show droves of screaming female students, wearing figure-hugging white skirts and light blue blouses, clattering around in their high heels, as the huge snake rampages about the college, in scenes that really ramp up the movie’s cheesy fun factor.

A film that mixes killer snakes with student flight attendants!
A film that mixes killer snakes with student flight attendants!
Stampeding student stewardesses!
Stampeding student stewardesses!

Some girls and their teachers get gobbled up, then the story transitions into the siege-focused part of the plot. Despite a title that Freud would have salivated over, the film steers away from showing anything too lascivious, contenting itself with an occasional shot of, say, a small snake slithering from a dead student’s skirt or the scene where a snake crawls over an underdressed character whilst she’s in the middle of indulging in some blindfolded foreplay with her boyfriend. But none of this is as exploitative as the sweaty promotional art, which seems to promise something more risqué. There’s nothing here that reaches the delirious, manic, mondo heights of 80s Hong Kong schlock-fest CALAMITY OF SNAKES, for instance.

Boas like bras?
Boas like bras?

A sequence with the guard hero hanging from cables strung between two buildings, with the mega-snake curled up below him and two smaller snakes making their way along the cables, is well-handled, with special effects that are on a par with the kind of FX seen in similar flicks.

A variation on one of the promotional images
A variation on one of the promotional images
The massive boa looks quite good in some of its scenes
The massive boa looks quite good in some of its scenes

By the midpoint the film tries to become a little more serious, as more people get picked off and squabbles break out amongst the survivors. There’s a pause in the action to allow an elitist, selfish student to be lectured about the importance of working people, in a speech bound to please the Chinese Communist Party censors, and then the fun stuff kicks back into gear as the huge snake launches another attack.

Nom, nom, nom...
Nom, nom, nom…

The guard protagonist has a moment of self-doubt (heroes in these movies often do), but he’s soon taking part in an enjoyable finale that sees the survivors tooling themselves up with homemade fireworks-bazookas. This extended showdown, ending with the recently-eaten security guard somehow surviving and crawling back out of the dead snake’s mouth, helps make this movie mindlessly marvellous in its own trashy, limited way, but it would’ve been far better if it had retained the silly, kitsch vibe of the first act.

The survivors use 'fireworks-bazookas' during the finale!
The survivors use ‘fireworks-bazookas’ during the finale!

One last look at the mega-snake…

Super-sized snake on the prowl!
Super-sized snake on the prowl!

Jurassic Revival (2022)

Armed team members shoot at the massive snake!
Armed team members shoot at the massive snake!

Starring Ma Xinyu, Feng Qilong, Yang Qiyu, Shen Yunzhong and Qiao Yaona, written by Li Wei, directed by Zhao Cong and produced by Xu Yawei.

Okay, I know I often say this, but here I go again: If only the movie was as good as this promo artwork
Okay, I know I often say this, but here I go again: If only the movie was as good as this promo artwork!

This begins in the 1980s, on a newly-discovered island (the ghost island), where we see a T-Rex attack the researchers and guards at an encampment. Loads of bullets are fired at this T-Rex, but it keeps on attacking, and even dynamite does little to slow it down. One particular scientist is shown running about, clutching a dinosaur egg, and then the story skips to the present day (as stories often do in these flicks), and we’re introduced to Zhao (Xinyu), the daughter of the guy-with-the-egg seen in the prologue. Zhao is asked by the despicable Mr Du (Qiyu) to accompany him and his team on a new mission to ghost island, the location of which he has rediscovered by comparing cloud formations on photographs taken at different times (a rip-off of an idea used in the 1976 version of KING KONG). Against her better judgement, Zhao goes with Mr Du and his armed goons to the island. Other team members include Laka, a dreadlocked demolition expert, Sangji, a survival expert, and Yuzi, an attractive, stony-faced, gun-toting she-merc who likes to wear snug-fitting shorts.

Yuzi doesn't like to smile
Yuzi doesn’t like to smile

Once on ghost island, a member of the group coughs-up blood and dies after a bug flies into his mouth (but these wasp-like bugs are never encountered again), and then a super-gigantic cobra goes on the offensive (of course there’s a huge snake in this movie: Chinese creature features just LOVE to include giant snakes if they get the chance!)

Giant cobra!
Giant cobra!
A close-up shot of the serpent!
A close-up shot of the serpent!

The team are unable to kill this huge serpent with all their firepower, and are fortunately saved when a carnosaur rocks up and quickly bites the cobra in two! The team get away from the reddish-brown predatory dino, which will turn up again later. 

The big cobra and the huge carnosaur roar at each other!
The big cobra and the huge carnosaur roar at each other!

An encounter with Velociraptors in an area of long grass happens next, and it is handled pretty well. There’s even a decent-looking full scale raptor prop head used in this sequence, as well as a full-body raptor costume.

The practical effects raptor head looks pretty damn good
The practical effects raptor head looks pretty damn good

The characters eventually reach the island’s open plains, which is populated by Stegosaurs, Triceratops, sauropods, pterosaurs, and other dinos.

Dinos roam the open plains
Dinos roam the open plains

All dinosaur movies should include shots of a big skeleton at some point. This movie does just that, so I am pleased!
All dinosaur movies should include shots of a big skeleton at some point. This movie does just that, so I am pleased!

The quality of the special effects does vary throughout the film, with some of it looking particularly weak. One such example of low quality FX is the reddish-brown carnivore (which we saw kill the cobra earlier) that now reenters the story. This critter moves about with a clunky, awkward gait that is not of a very high standard, effects-wise. But a T-Rex that shows up at this point, with Zhao’s wild-haired father riding on its back, is a better example of the CGI, boasting a more impactful body design and good skin texture details. It turns out that Zhao’s dad has raised this T-Rex from the egg he was carrying about, and now the dino is his loyal pet! This is a fun, goofy idea, but the filmmakers waste the opportunity to show lots of dino-riding action, and simply have the dad tell the T-Rex to chill out while he joins the team, as Mr Du searches for a special meteorite.

The wild-haired father's pet T-Rex is hurt after a fight...
The wild-haired father’s pet T-Rex is hurt after a fight with the reddish-brown carnosaur…
...but it gets back up
…but it gets back up: the pet T-Rex is okay, folks! Yay!

The explorers reach a hot, volcanic landscape, dotted with jets of flame, which is the location of the meteorite. Mr Du wants to blow this hunk of rock up (presumably because it contains valuable minerals), but Zhao’s father says that the meteorite’s magnetic field is related to the life of the entire island, so if the rock gets destroyed every living thing on the isle will perish. So, after a raptor attack, the team members inevitably split into two factions, as some try to protect the meteorite, and others attempt to blow it up. 

Raptors in the volcanic zone
Raptors in the volcanic zone

The orange-hued, fiery zone, where this finale takes place, is quite stylised and theatrical-looking, exuding a more fantastical, cinematic vibe (compared to the naturalistic locations used elsewhere), and it definitely suits the pulpy requirements of this lost world film. So it’s a shame that it is used as the setting for a protracted hostage standoff situation, with Mr Du holding Zhao at knifepoint, which is all rather anticlimactic. We do get to see the pet T-Rex again, though, at the very end, as the survivors wait on the beach to be rescued.  

Chillin' on the beach with the pet T-Rex
Chillin’ on the beach with the pet T-Rex

As the film fades to black, some copy informs us that Laka, Zhao and Sangji were sentenced to six years in prison for breaking the local law. But could someone please answer this question for me: how the hell does a lost, prehistoric island happen to have its own local law?!

Chinese monster movies like to include Asian Lara Croft-types in their stories!
Chinese monster movies like to include Asian Lara Croft-types in their stories!