Tag Archives: awesome

The Cyan Dragon (2020)

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This movie features a many-headed monstrosity!
This movie features a many-headed monstrosity!

Starring Cui Erkang, Zhang Ruiyao, Su Suxia, Cheng Qi, Zhang Ying and Yin Shaosheng. Written by Liu Jiahong and Wang Runz. Directed by Ji Zhizhong and Tony Wei. Tencent Penguin Pictures

One of the hydra-creature's toothy heads
One of the hydra-creature’s toothy heads

A dying general transfers the power of the Cyan Dragon into the body of Xiang, a lowly footsoldier, who must learn to harness the energy to defeat an enemy nation led by a villain capable of beckoning a massive, multi-headed monster. The general’s sister, Ling, tutors Xiang on how to use his powers while they head for the frontline of the war, but Xiang must contend with his instincts to avoid the oncoming danger… and he also starts to fall in love with Ling.

Xiang and Ling
Xiang and Ling

THE CYAN DRAGON is a Chinese-made flick that starts with acrobatic 300-style war scenes, set within green screen-type virtual vistas, that are very cool and exciting to watch, with lots of wirework and characters utilising different powers.

Soldiers are routed by the villain's multi-headed serpent beast!
Soldiers are routed by the villain’s multi-headed serpent beast!

This is where we’re first introduced to a group of masked bad guys who look great on-screen. They each have their own supernatural skills: one killer leaves a smoke-like black trail as he swiftly moves about, another has a hand that transforms into a swollen lava-fist, and the chief villain is able to summon a hydra-creature from beneath the earth.

This dude can turn his hand into a big lava-fist!
This dude can turn his hand into a big lava-fist!
The masked bad dudes and their hydra-monster!
The masked bad dudes and their hydra-monster!

During this opening skirmish we also get to see how the power of the Cyan Dragon can be used, as the doomed heroic general restructures the material of his sword, causing it to become super-extended, so that he can skewer many adversaries onto his blade at the same time. This battle set piece is great fun and thrilling to watch, so it’s a pity that it is the only such large scale fight featured in the movie.

The lead villains all wear masks
The lead villains all wear masks

With Xiang becoming the host to the Cyan Dragon energy, the plot takes time to show us how the protagonist is initially rather unheroic, needing warrior woman Ling to keep him on track. Xiang, Ling and a couple of escorts set off on their mission, where they are stalked by the masked dudes, who use a kind of floating, brass spying drone-device to track them.

Ling, the fighting femme heroine
Ling is the stern, fighting-femme heroine

The ending sees Xiang and Ling fighting the remaining chief villain in a snowy landscape, trying to survive as the baddie briefly subdivides into three different warriors and then expands in size to become a giant fighter with a fiery halo.

The main antagonist becomes extra-evil!
The main antagonist becomes extra-evil!

When Ling is killed by the villain, Xiang screams in anger and sadness, zooms upwards through the clouds, out  of Earth’s atmosphere, entering the void of space! Then he powers back down to Earth, now dressed as the fully-armoured fighter Cyan Dragon!

Our hero slams back down to Earth and says... "My name is Cyan Dragon!"
Our hero slams back down to Earth and says… “My name is Cyan Dragon!”

Cyan Dragon mauls the masked chief, but the villain has one ace left up his sleeve, as he summons the many-headed super-beast once again!

The return of the hydra-critter!
The return of the hydra-critter!
For a while the villain becomes part of the gigantic monster itself, by melding with its throbbing innards
For a while the villain becomes part of the gigantic monster itself, by melding with its throbbing innards

This finale, with the totally CGI Cyan Dragon warrior battling the CGI hydra monster in a CGI landscape, is little more than glorified computer game footage, but it’s fun to watch nonetheless.

When Xiang becomes encased in his armour he does look very CGI, there's no doubt about that, but the action's fun to watch anyway
When Xiang becomes encased in his armour he does look very CGI, there’s no doubt about that, but the action’s enjoyable to watch anyway

The movie is entertaining and thrilling in places, with lots of wirework and too-cool-for-school villains. It’s a shame, then, that the film is so short. It would’ve been more satisfying to see Xiang spend time to fully explore the growth of his powers, and the notion that his energy can be personified and interacted with (it leaves his body a couple of times and takes on the form of a small dragon-creature) should really have been dwelt on longer.

Above: three shots from a scene where Xiang chats with a tiny dragon, which is the embodiment of the energy now inside him
Above: three shots from a scene where Xiang chats with a tiny dragon, which is the embodiment of the energy now inside him

The movie is also known by the title BLUE DRAGON OF ALIEN BATTLEGEAR.

The armoured Cyan Dragon warrior versus the huge hydra-monster!
The armoured Cyan Dragon warrior versus the huge hydra-monster!

The Strange World of Planet X (1958)


Starring Forrest Tucker, Gaby André, Martin Benson, Alec Mango, Wyndham Goldie, Dandy Nichols and Richard Warner. Screenplay by Paul Ryder, based on the book by Rene Ray (which was a novelisation of the 6-part television series also written by Rene Ray). Directed by Gilbert Gunn and produced by George Maynard.


'Every second your pulse pounds they grow foot by incredible foot!'
‘Every second your pulse pounds they grow foot by incredible foot!’

Also known as COSMIC MONSTERS and THE STRANGE WORLD, this b&w British science fiction horror movie tells the story of experiments with magnetism that unleash cosmic rays that turn a hobo into a burnt-faced strangler and enlarges all the local bugs.

Attack of the giant cockroach!
Attack of the giant cockroach!

This modest production meanders at an unhurried pace to start with, though it’s interesting to check out the mixed acting styles on show here, with Forrest Tucker, as scientist hero Gil Graham, delivering a dependable performance, whilst most of the Brit actors surrounding him come across as really quite stilted. French actress Gaby André, playing fellow scientist Michele Dupont, injects a little Gallic exoticness to the mix, and Martin Benson adds a smidgen of mystery to proceedings as the visitor ‘Smith’, who turns out to be a Klaatu-like alien on a mission to warn Graham and the others that their meddling with Earth’s magnetic field will have deadly consequences.

Michele Dupont (André) and Gil Graham (Tucker) are work colleagues who become fond of each other
Michele Dupont (André) and Gil Graham (Tucker) are work colleagues who become fond of each other

After rather too many scenes set in the local pub, the plot thankfully kicks into gear, once all the cosmic ray-affected insects, grubs, millipedes, spiders and even a newt become monster-sized and do battle with soldiers in the woods next to the lab. Woot!

There are a few pub scenes in this movie
There are several pub scenes in this movie
Huge insect alert!
Huge insect alert!
Michele realises that this is a giant insect egg!
Michele realises that this is a giant insect egg!

The filmmakers certainly include a diverse bunch of critters in this flick, that’s for sure, including a larval dragonfly and cockroaches. Les Bowie, who supplied the special effects (lots of magnified close-ups of creepy crawlies, etc), does a quite decent job, especially if you consider what little time or money he must have had to bring his low budget wonders to the screen.

Watch out! It's a big larval dragonfly!
Watch out! It’s a big larval dragonfly!

The best moment comes when a huge spider fights with a giant cockroach, as the heroine, trapped in the spider’s web, looks on in fear. This sequence is achieved using rear projection, and it looks pretty cool, with tree branches and white strands of prop spider web strung over the rear projection screen, adding a sense of depth and dimension to the visuals. But, when Gil runs up to save Michele, the rear projection image (of the spider) is turned off for some reason, so that the blank rear projection screen can be clearly seen beneath the prop webbing. But, hey, it’s a memorable creature-tastic sequence all the same!

Michele, stuck in the web, watches as the enlarged spider fights the giant cockroach
Michele, stuck in the web, watches as the enlarged spider attacks the giant cockroach
Publicity still
Publicity still

THE STRANGE WORLD OF PLANET X is definitely a cheap and threadbare production, but Tucker brings some much-needed verve to his role, thus preventing the film from becoming too stilted as we wait for the monsters to show up. Along with this production, Tucker also added his gruff, American vigour to the UK-made sci-fi-horror films THE ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN (1957) and THE TROLLENBERG TERROR (1958). The fact that he was in these three flicks means that I can’t help but rate Tucker highly! What a dude!

Tucker as scientist Gil Graham in THE STRANGE WORLD OF PLANET X
Tucker as scientist Gil Graham in THE STRANGE WORLD OF PLANET X

Ultimately, this movie is worth a watch, as it also features a wobbly flying saucer saving the day by blasting the (model) science lab to bits, and the film includes a brief, surprising moment of gore too, as we see a soldier getting his face eaten by a killer bug!

UFO!
UFO!
A bug eats a soldier's face!
A bug eats a soldier’s face!

Here are some lobby cards…

Above: three lovely lobby cards!
Above: three lovely lobby cards!

Here’s a US poster for the flick…

The poster claims 'this ravaging death overruns the earth...' but the whole story is set in a small UK village!
The poster claims ‘this ravaging death overruns the earth…’ but the whole story is actually set in a small UK village!

Finally, this is a COSMIC MONSTERS promotional sheet that used to form part of a Seven Arts Associated binder. Seven Arts Associated was a television syndication distributor and they published a yearly binder in the 1960s, which showed the films that would be available for television airing/syndication. These binders were sent to the television stations. Anyway, I like the COSMIC MONSTERS artwork used for this promo sheet…


I love the giant spider illustration!
I love this giant spider illustration!

Contamination (1980)

'You feel them in your blood!'
‘You feel them in your blood!’
Also known as TOXIC SPAWN
Also known as TOXIC SPAWN
Look into my hypnotic eye...
Look into my hypnotic eye…
Beware the slimy green eggs!
Beware the slimy green eggs!

Starring Ian (ZOMBIE HOLOCAUST) McCulloch, Louise (BLACK MIRROR) Marleau, Siegfried (THE URANIUM CONSPIRACY) Rauch, Marino (TENEBRAE) Masé, Gisela (DEVIL HUNTER) Hahn and Carlo (THE SCORPION WITH TWO TAILS) Monni. Written by Luigi (STARCRASH) Cozzi and Erich (BLOODY MOON) Tomek, directed by Luigi (THE ADVENTURES OF HERCULES) Cozzi, produced by Claudio (THE WITCHES’ SABBATH) Mancini. Special effects by Giovanni (ZOMBIE FLESH EATERS) Corridori.

Ian McCulloch as the alcoholic ex-astronaut Hubbard
Ian McCulloch as the alcoholic ex-astronaut Hubbard
Green slime and red blood!
Green slime and red blood!

Large, green, alien eggs are discovered in a cargo ship and their presence on Earth is linked to a recent space expedition to Mars. One of the astronauts from this martian mission, Commander Hubbard (McCulloch), teams-up with Colonel Stella Holmes (Marleau) to investigate the appearance of these deadly eggs, which burst open when they are disturbed, spraying a sticky fluid that causes victims to explode if it lands on their bodies!

Torso eruptions!
Torso eruptions! There are lots of these gut-plosions!

Hubbard, Holmes and New York police detective Tony Aris (Masé) eventually find themselves in a South American plantation, where a big, cyclopean alien (which had been brought to Earth from Mars as a seed) is using mind control powers to oversee a plan to stockpile vast quantities of the killer green eggs!

The yellow-eyed cyclops alien!
The yellow-eyed cyclops alien!
Martian tunnel seen in a flashback
Martian tunnel seen in a flashback

Also known as ALIEN CONTAMINATION and TOXIC SPAWN, this Italian-German schlocker is a mishmash of sci-fi, splatter and spy story, with a very nifty music score by the group Goblin that really enhances the viewing pleasure of this fun flick.

Above: two shots of the green, slimy alien eggs
Above: two shots of the green, slimy alien eggs

Somehow CONTAMINATION, which is too cheesy and absurd to be taken seriously, found itself on the United Kingdom’s infamous DPP list of ‘video nasties’ in 1984, no doubt because it featured all those shots of people bloodily exploding their intestines and innards everywhere after getting splashed by the goo from the green eggs. These erupting body scenes, obviously inspired by the chestburster incident in ALIEN (1979), are the standout moments in the film, along with the finale, where we’re introduced to the (rather immobile) one-eyed alien. This critter is a pretty cool creation: it has a single, luminous eye, a face that narrows in the middle, and it has several mouths, one of which is on the end of a slimy appendage. The manner in which the alien gobbles up its victims is simultaneously comical and rather revolting. The extraterrestrial beast is well-lit in all its scenes and it makes up for its lack of movement by possessing the psychic ability to FORCE its victims to willingly walk up to it and wait to be eaten!

The appendage-mouth gets ready to start munching a victim!
The appendage-mouth gets ready to start munching a victim!
Nom, nom, nom...
Nom, nom, nom…

The silly, ridiculous plot exists purely to give the filmmakers an excuse to include the scenes of bodies detonating in slow motion (plus the lingering shots of the aftermath of these body-eruptions), the shootouts that boast multiple bloody gunshot squibs, the cyclops-alien climax, and the various shots of noisy, glowing eggs.

Above: some of the many bloody scenes from the movie
Above: some of the many splattery moments from the movie

There’s one scene with Stella trapped in a bathroom with an about-to-explode glowing & moaning egg that seems to go on forever: it’s an awesome sequence!


The egg in the bathroom!
The egg in the bathroom!

Is this movie (directed by Luigi Cozzi going by the Anglicised name Lewis Coates) a sci-fi-horror classic? Well, it obviously isn’t, but the film IS a slimy, gloopy, gory, gonzo B-movie that is a joy to the eyes and ears, especially if you’re a fan of 80s-era Italian exploitation cinema. Oh, and there’s an exploding rat to look out for too!

The mind-controlling martian monster!
The mind-controlling martian monster!

Here are some posters for the movie…

US one sheet
US one sheet poster
Italian poster
Italian poster
German poster
German poster
Australian daybill poster
Australian daybill poster

Here’s the Arrow Video Blu-ray cover…

This cover is coooooooool!
This cover is coooooooool!

Finally, one last look at the splattery action…

Goo, blood, guts and bullets!
Goo, blood, guts and bullets!

Necronomicon: Book of the Dead (1993)

Eye-tentacles
Eye-tentacles!
Mouth-tentacles
Mouth-tentacles

Starring Jeffrey Combs, Tony Azito, Juan Fernández, Brian Yuzna, Bruce Payne, Belinda Bauer, David Warner, Bess Meyer, Signy Coleman, Obba Babatundé and Richard Lynch. Written by Brent V. Friedman, Christophe Gans, Kazunori Itô and Brian Yuzna. Directed by Christophe (BROTHERHOOD OF THE WOLF) Gans, Shûsuke (GAMERA: GUARDIAN OF THE UNIVERSE) Kaneko and Brian (SOCIETY) Yuzna.

Poster
Poster

This Lovecraftian horror anthology movie features three segments (‘The Drowned’, ‘The Cold’ and ‘Whispers’) and a wraparound tale (‘The Library’) that has Jeffrey Combs playing H. P. Lovecraft himself, hunting down the Necronomicon in a library.

Ouch!
Ouch!

Of the stories, ‘The Drowned’ and ‘Whispers’ are the best of the bunch. ‘The Drowned’, for instance, boasts a fair amount of tentacles, including a massive, cyclopean tentacle-critter, which, of course, is something you definitely want to see in a Lovecraft movie!

A huge, one-eyed tentacle-monster rises!
A huge, one-eyed tentacle-monster rises!

But it’s the 3rd story, ‘Whispers’, that is the standout tale for me. This segment just gradually gets more and more gory, outlandish and batshit crazy as it progresses.

Signy Coleman plays a cop who finds herself in a cavern of horrors

Signy Coleman plays a cop who finds herself in a cavern of horrors

‘Whispers’ features a cavern inhabited by otherworldly winged creatures that need human victims to enable them to reproduce, so be prepared for gonzo prosthetics, body parts, blood and bat-critters that have their mouths in their bellies!

Lots of human body parts!
Lots of human body parts!
A bat-thing in the cavern
A bat-thing in the cavern


NECRONOMICON: BOOK OF THE DEAD isn’t big budget, the acting is variable, and I think the production would’ve been better if Brian Yuzna had directed all the segments – but the film certainly pulls out all the stops to offer us loads of old-school practical FX, gore, slime & blood, courtesy of a bunch of special makeup and animatronic effects artists that includes the talented likes of John Carl Buechler, Screaming Mad George, Steve Johnson, Todd Masters and Tom Savini.

Above: various shots from the movie
Above: various shots from the movie

Finally, let’s take another look at the gill-man critter that features in ‘The Drowned’ story…

Yikes!
Yikes!

The Magic Sword (1962)

Starring Gary (2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY) Lockwood, Basil (SON OF FRANKENSTEIN) Rathbone, Estelle (DARBY O’GILL AND THE LITTLE PEOPLE) Winwood, Anne (NIGHTMARE IN WAX) Helm, Danielle (VALLEY OF THE DRAGONS) De Metz and Maila (PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE) Nurmi. Screenplay by Bernard (THE SPACE CHILDREN) Schoenfeld, from a story by Bert I. Gordon. Directed by Bert I. (THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN) Gordon.  

'The most incredible weapon ever wielded!'
‘The most incredible weapon ever wielded!’
Hag alert!
Hag alert!

Princess Helene (Helm) is kidnapped by the evil wizard Lodac (Rathbone), who intends to feed her to his two-headed dragon in a week’s time. Young hero George (Lockwood) vows to save Helene, whom he loves, and he isn’t deterred by the fact that Lodac has announced there are seven deadly curses which need to be overcome to reach the dragon’s lair.

Princess Helene takes a dip
Princess Helene takes a dip
The hero George (hooray!)
The hero George (hooray!)
The villain Lodac (boo!)
The villain Lodac (boo!)

Luckily for George, who happens to be the adopted son of a good sorceress called Sybil (Winwood), he is able to equip himself with an anti-black magic sword, a special white steed that is the fastest horse in the world, and an invulnerable suit of armour. He is also accompanied by six magically frozen, valiant knights (all from different countries) that George can reawaken and command. But George is unaware that the arrogant knight Sir Branton, who has also pledged to rescue Princess Helene, is actually a treacherous villain in league with Lodac…

The baddies Lodac and Sir Branton (Liam Sullivan)
Sybil and her two-headed servant (played by twin brothers Nick & Paul Bon Tempi)
Oh, and Sybil can turn into a panther!
Oh, and Sybil can turn into a panther!

I have a soft spot for this cheesy fantasy movie, which is also known as ST. GEORGE AND THE 7 CURSES, THE SORCEROR’S CURSE, ST. GEORGE AND THE DRAGON and THE SEVEN CURSES OF LODAC. Director Bert I. Gordon, famous for giant creature features like BEGINNING OF THE END (1957), EARTH VS THE SPIDER (1958) and THE FOOD OF THE GODS (1976), tries to make this a family-oriented adventure, but he can’t help including elements of horror, such as when a beautiful woman (De Metz) transforms into a grotesque, wonky-eyed vampire hag (played by Maila Nurmi, aka ‘Vampira’).

The pretty maiden Mignonette (De Metz) seems very nice...
The pretty maiden Mignonette (De Metz) seems very nice…
...but she's really a hideous vampire hag (Nurmi)...
…but she turns into a hideous vampire hag (Nurmi)…
...who sinks her fangs into the poor knight's neck!
…and she sinks her fangs into the poor knight’s neck!

More horror-tinged moments include a frothing, bubbling swamp that turns one of the knights into a skeleton, and a swirling, hypnotic vortex that scorches its victims’ blistering skin (which reminds me a little of what happens to the Colonel Breen character in 1967’s QUATERMASS AND THE PIT, when he is hypnotised and fried by the glowing space vessel).

Two of the heroes have their flesh sizzled by a swirling magical vortex
Two of the heroes have their flesh sizzled by a swirling magical vortex

THE MAGIC SWORD, though made on a low budget, is full of novel incidents, characters and creatures. There’s a huge, snaggle-toothed ogre, a group of little people , a chimp in a tunic, cone-heads & bird-faced minions that do Lodac’s bidding, a two-headed servant, and cave ghosts. Bert I. Gordon also treats us to a big dragon, which he brings to the screen via the use of a pretty nice-lookin’ puppet beast that has two fire-breathing heads! The dragon mainly moves its heads and is rather immobile, but it is a visually cool creation that helps ramp up the movie’s fantasy vibes.

Tiny folks!
Tiny folks!
George, on his trusty steed, fights the ogre!
George, on his trusty steed, fights the ogre!
Ghostly spectres in a cave
Ghostly spectres in a cave
Helene is tied-up, ready to be the dragon's latest victim
Helene is tied-up, ready to be the dragon’s latest victim
George takes-on the dragon!
George takes-on the dragon!

This is a colourful romp, no doubt about it, but it’s definitely the pervading air of grimness running through the story that helps THE MAGIC SWORD stick in the memory. Though this was obviously intended to be a kid’s flick, I can’t think of any similar fantasy film from this era that would’ve included the scene where Lodac feeds two pretty princess sisters to his dragon: these princesses get eaten (off-screen) by the dragon as Lodac forces Helene to watch! Even the design of the ogre (played by Jack Kosslyn) has a grimmer-than-usual touch: this humanoid brute already has an injured/paralysed right arm before he even attacks the knights, which makes you wonder what sadistic tortures the ogre may have suffered previously at the hands of his master Lodac.


Close-up of the ogre
Close-up of the ogre
The ogre starts bleeding after being wounded by a spear
The ogre starts bleeding after being wounded by a spear

THE MAGIC SWORD is a twisted low rent children’s fantasy-action-adventure that, if you’ve not already seen it, should really be tracked down right away and watched!

The way Bert I. Gordon adds a real animal's eye to this stone statue is creepy!
The way Bert I. Gordon adds a real animal’s eye to this stone statue is creepy!

Some posters for the movie…

US half sheet poster
US half sheet poster
French grande poster
French grande poster
Italian poster
Italian poster
US three sheet poster
US three sheet poster
Italian poster
Italian poster

Here’s the cover for the Dell comic book adaptation of the film…

Dell comic book cover
Dell comic book cover

…and here are some of the interior illustrations from the Dell comic book adaptation…

Above: three pages from the Dell adaptation
Above: three colourful pages from the Dell adaptation

Okay then, here’s a final look at the vampire hag…

Beware the green eyes!
Beware the green eyes!

The Night Crew (2015)

There's going to be a lot of fighting in this film!
There’s going to be a lot of fighting in this film!

Starring Luke Goss, Bokeem Woodbine, Danny Trejo, Paul Sloan, Chasty Ballesteros, Luciana Faulhaber, Jason Mewes, Jacqueline Lord and Dan Swayze. Written by Paul Sloan and Christian Sesma. Directed by Christian Sesma. Produced by Ryan Noto, Christian Sesma, Elias Axume, Jack Campbell and Tony Piantedosi. 

Paul Sloan, Bokeem Woodbine, Luke Goss and Luciana Faulhaber
Paul Sloan, Bokeem Woodbine, Luke Goss and Luciana Faulhaber play bounty hunters Ronnie, Crenshaw, Wade and Rose

A small team of bounty hunters, led by Wade (Goss), succeed in apprehending their target, a woman called Mae (Ballesteros), but matters get out of hand when they find themselves under siege in an isolated, deserted motel, fighting against trigger-happy cartel killers. It also slowly becomes apparent that there’s more to Mae than meets the eye… 

Mae licks the tip of Rose’s gun

Okay, as this is the Monster Zone blog site, I will be upfront and reveal Mae’s secret: she’s actually a vampire! The vampire aspect of the story, though, is used more to add some mystery to the mainly action-oriented movie. Some moments hint that Mae is not just a ‘normal’ foxy asian (pole dancing) gal, but this supernatural facet of the tale remains secondary to the central tough-bounty-hunters-shooting-it-out-with-cartel-thugs siege plot line. But, hey, this is okay by me because the combat scenes are pretty intense and well-handled, with bodies getting blasted, knife fights, and rocket launchers used with relish by the combatants.     

He's a cartel footsoldier!
He’s a cartel footsoldier!
She's a vampire!
She’s a vampire!
Above: there's a great deal of shooting in this movie!
Above: there’s a great deal of shooting in this movie!
A rocket is launched!
A rocket is launched!
Rose is captured by the cartel bad guys for a while
Rose is captured by the cartel bad guys for a while

THE NIGHT CREW is actually a modestly-budgeted production, but it benefits from director Christian Sesma’s quest to try and put every dollar he has on the screen. Sesma has said that his mindset is always to make his films as if he had a hundred million dollars (even though, with some of his projects, he often only has several hundred thousand dollars to play with!) Sesma has admitted that this attitude has been called overly ambitious a lot of times by critics, but at least he has managed to give many of his low cost movies (such as his heist film PAY DIRT) a sense of scale by shooting some of his movies near his home in the Coachella Valley, making the most of local locations like Thermal, Palm Springs and the Salton Sea, using the desert vistas, stunning blue skies and expansive palm groves to turbo-charge the visual appeal of his thrillers, revenge stories and actioners. For THE NIGHT CREW Sesma bases the movie in and around a real, derelict desert motel complex (which, in reality, was situated twenty minutes from the director’s house). With the abandoned motel location dressed up with trash bags and some of its walls spray-painted a bit, the place was made to look more dilapidated for the movie.

'The hunters become the hunted'
‘The hunters become the hunted’
Trejo's character likes to have blood transfusions
Trejo’s character likes to have blood transfusions

Sesma also gets the best out of Luke Goss, who plays the lead bounty hunter. I think Goss, when used well (such as by Guillermo Del Toro in HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY), delivers compelling performances, and here he takes his Wade role seriously.

Luke Goss as the stoic merc leader Wade
Luke Goss as the stoic bounty hunter Wade

Bokeem Woodbine, Paul Sloan and Luciana Faulhaber, meanwhile, are fine as the rest of Wade’s team, Danny Trejo’s baddie Aguilar is very much the kind of big, grizzled guest star thug that Trejo can play in his sleep, and Jason Mewes, as usual, finds it hard to shake off comparisons to his Jay and Silent Bob character.     

Jason Mewes as a security guard
Jason Mewes as security guard Chachi
In France THE NIGHT CREW is known as BLACKWATER
In France THE NIGHT CREW is known as BLACKWATER

After all the shootings, grapplings, stabbings, kickings, punchings and deaths, the mortally-wounded Rose and Wade (spoiler) are turned into vampires to keep them ‘alive’. Then they, along with Mae, go over to Aguilar’s place, where the cartel boss sprouts some vampire fangs of his own.

Mae turns the dying Rose into a vampire…
...and then the newly-undead Rose turns Wade into a vampire
…and then the newly-undead Rose turns the dying Wade into a vampire
A toothy Trejo!
A toothy Trejo!

These blood-sucking vampire elements only become a main part of the story at the very end of the film, and it is obvious that Sesma was hoping to springboard these characters into a more supernatural-themed sequel. I, for one, would’ve loved to have seen Luke Goss play a kick-ass vampire bounty hunter in a follow-up flick.

Mae rips out the throat of a nasty cartel villain
Vampire Mae rips out the throat of a nasty cartel villain

After Sesma sold his movie, however, he was then in the hands of the distributors, and, according to the director, a weird distributor put the movie out at a weird time – and THE NIGHT CREW just kind of fell by the wayside, meaning there was no appetite for a sequel. Which, for me, is a pity, as I think, with a bigger budget and an action-horror plot focusing on vamp bounty hunters, THE NIGHT CREW 2 would’ve been a bloody fangtastic flick!

Luciana Faulhaber and Luke Goss didn't get the chance to return as undead vampire mercenaries in a sequel. Oh well.
Luciana Faulhaber and Luke Goss didn’t get the chance to return as undead bounty hunting vampires in a sequel. Oh well.

Let’s end with a look at the Brazilan DVD cover artwork for the film…

In Brazil the movie title means THE NIGHT TEAM
In Brazil the movie title means THE NIGHT TEAM

Demon (2012)

Starring Clare Langford, Andrew Mullan, Gabrielle Curtis, Tom Hall, Andrew Cunningham, Christopher Ettridge, Jackie Haliday and Ryan Wichert. Written, produced and directed by Mark Duffield.

poster
Poster

In Victorian London a young gentleman named Lorcan (Mullan) checks into a hospital, where his rare illness is studied as he receives blood transfusions. He meets a sensitive nurse called Amy (Langford) and they fall in love, but Lorcan’s true nature will doom their relationship…  

Andrew Mullan plays Lorcan
Andrew Mullan plays Lorcan
Clare Langford plays Amy
Clare Langford plays Amy

We realise early on that Lorcan is not a normal chap when he puts his hand into a shaft of morning light and blood bubbles to the surface of his skin, and he also drinks blood from a nurse’s cut finger. Lorcan does attempt to act normally and bonds with Amy, who shows him around London but, later, after he is taken to see an illegal bareknuckle fight by a hospital worker, Lorcan is unable to stave off his darker urges any longer, killing a would-be mugger, then winching the body aloft on a rope and bathing in his victim’s blood!

A behind the scenes shot of Andrew Mullan filming the scene where he bathes in a victim's dripping blood
A behind the scenes shot of Andrew Mullan filming the scene where he bathes in a victim’s dripping blood

Amy supplies Lorcan with a jar of blood from the hospital and, as their connection to each other intensifies, they eventually have sex, triggering a transformation in Lorcan… who becomes a sharp-toothed demon-lover equipped with large, bat-like wings! Lorcan proceeds to feed on Amy’s blood like a vampire.

Their love is doomed
Their love is doomed
Above: three shots of Lorcan after he changes into the hairless Nosferatu-like demon
Above: three shots of Lorcan after he changes into the hairless Nosferatu-like demon

As the story unfolds, Lorcan loses his hair and stalks the hospital naked (save for a top hat), sporting Nosferatu-style front-fangs and pointy ears, savagely killing Amy’s friend (and fellow nurse), Rose. This murder is witnessed by Rook, the sneaky hospital worker, who decides to make money from Lorcan’s supernatural savagery by forcing him to fight in an illegal bareknuckle boxing contest. Lorcan sucks the blood from his opponent and sprouts his great demon wings, much to the surprise of the crowd.

It gets a bit bloody in the fighting ring
It gets a bit bloody in the fighting ring
Lorcan in full winged demon mode!
Lorcan in full winged demon mode!

Amy, still in love with demon-Nosferatu-Lorcan, allows him to feed from her neck again, but, when she finds Rook’s severed head in a hat box, she realises Lorcan is out of control. Meanwhile, Dr Edward and Professor Darkwood, two professionals who have unravelled the origins of Lorcan, discuss what can be done to deal with the demon but, frustratingly, they never actually get around to doing anything. So it is left to Amy to take care of the demon by locking herself in a church belfry with Lorcan, permitting him to drain her of her blood, buying time (as in 1979’s NOSFERATU THE VAMPYRE) for the sun to rise and destroy the demon. After the sunlight causes the crestfallen Lorcan’s demon-wings to catch fire, he reverts back to human form and lies next to Amy’s body, where he expires beside her.  

Dr Edward and Professor Darkwood should've talked less and got their asses in gear to confront the demon!
Dr Edward and Professor Darkwood should’ve talked less and got their asses in gear to confront the demon!

Director Mark Duffield, who made the very enjoyable Thai-set horror film GHOST OF MAE NAK (2005), goes out of his way here to ensure this production is filled with lots of period detail. It’s actually quite amazing that Duffield managed to make this feature-length Victorian horror-romance for the astoundingly tiny sum of £25,000 (which included the cost of submitting it to film festivals and putting it out on DVD)!

Lorcan, fully transformed, during his gambling den fight
Lorcan, fully transformed, during his gambling den fight

Serving as art director, editor, cinematographer and producer, Duffield also supplied the Victorian props and costumes and, most importantly, wrote the script. Though the plot needed more narrative drive in places (due to the passivity of characters like Dr Edward and Professor Darkwood), and the nature of Lorcan’s true origins remained somewhat fuzzy (is he the cursed progeny of an incubus, or is he the direct descendent of Legion, the fallen angel?), Duffield is to be praised for choosing to focus his story on a visually interesting, winged, hairless, William Blake-style demon, rather than plump for an easier-to-do supernatural being like a vampire.

Andrew Mullan kitted out as a Victorian gent
Andrew Mullan kitted out as a Victorian gent

Andrew Mullen is at his best when playing Lorcan in the earlier portion of the film, when he is seeking help for his blood condition and seems vulnerable and genuinely unsure of what he truly is (he even gives Dr Edward the papyrus texts that could potentially provide information to bring about his downfall) – but after Lorcan falls in love, triggering his descent into full demonhood, Mullen struggles somewhat to exude the required moody-but-intriguing qualities to really convince us he’s a magnetic, brooding man-demon capable of captivating Amy. Clare Langford, however, is quite affecting in the role of the caring, good-natured, bookish, empathetic Amy. She does convince us that Amy is a loving character capable of falling under the spell of Lorcan. Andrew Cunningham also delivers a decent performance as the likely lad chancer Rook.

Andrew Cunningham plays Rook
Andrew Cunningham plays Rook

To boost the film’s production values, Duffield shoots some scenes of his lead characters visiting London locations like Tower Bridge and the Albert Memorial, and he also manages to capture several gorgeous-looking skyscapes, most notably when Lorcan climbs onto the hospital roof. Deciding not to let his tiny budget get in the way, Duffield had sets built and fills the story with such elements as a dude dressed in a bear pelt fighting in the bareknuckle ring, and street scenes featuring extras wearing Victorian costumes.

Location shooting in London added some scale to the film
Location shooting in London added some scale to the film
One of the film's lovely skyscape shots
One of the film’s lovely skyscape shots

The music score by Stephen Bentley-Klein is quite sumptuous, helping to infuse the film with an old school horror movie vibe. Duffield adds to the Hammer/Amicus/Tyburn-esque nature of the production by including nods to Jack the Ripper, Dracula, Dr Jekyll and so on, eschewing the urge to go too hyper gory. Perhaps (due to the minuscule size of the budget, crew and time schedule) the lighting is merely adequate in places, but even then Duffield offsets the flatness of the lighting by making the edges of the frame in some scenes slightly blurred and out of focus. It’s an interesting touch.

A crowd scene (note the interesting blur effect on the left side of the frame)
A crowd scene (note that Duffield sometimes blurs the side of the frame)

Creature Effects Designer James Alexander deserves a pat on the back for sculpting the demon’s bat-like wings, which are a fine example of practical effects done well. The shots of the outstretched wings are, for me, the standout moments in the film, and it’s to Duffield’s credit that he strived to include this imagery in such a modestly-budgeted movie.

Behind the scenes still of Mark Duffield posing with Andrew Mullan as the demon
Behind the scenes still of Mark Duffield posing with Andrew Mullan as the demon

The Creature Floor Effects Supervisor, Sophie Clayton, warrants a lot of praise for helping these shots work too. She was also the Creature Effects Technician and puppeteer working the wings, as was fellow Creature Effects Technician Miriam Hammond.

Upper class demons like to wear top hats!
Upper class demons like to wear top hats!

As a self-funded project, DEMON is an eye-catching film that showcases Duffield’s ability to oversee an entire production almost single-handedly, and it poses the question: imagine what Duffield could achieve if he was given the opportunity to helm a bigger-budgeted genre movie? He’d surely show us what he could REALLY do then. 

Above: two behind the scenes shots
Above: two behind the scenes shots

Finally, one more look at the demon…

Andrew Mullan looking like a young Nosferatu
Andrew Mullan looking like a young Nosferatu

Unmade Conan the Barbarian Movies!

Early concept study of Conan fighting the tentacle-faced monster Yug-Ommog
PEOPLE OF THE SERPENT concept study, depicting Conan fighting the tentacle-faced monster Yug-Ommog

The first Conan movie to reach the screen, of course, was John (RED DAWN) Milius’ awesome R-rated CONAN THE BARBARIAN (1982), which starred Arnold Schwarzenegger, was written by Milius and Oliver Stone, and boasted a stunning soundtrack composed by Basil Poledouris.

CONAN THE BARBARIAN (1982) poster
CONAN THE BARBARIAN (1982) poster

This movie was a big success and was followed by CONAN THE DESTROYER (1984), which was originally written by Marvel Comics scribes Roy Thomas and Gerry Conway, who had wanted the sequel’s finale to be really epic, featuring a stop-motion, winged demon. But it was decided to make DESTROYER a PG movie, it was rewritten by Stanley (FIRESTARTER) Mann, and, to save on money, the stop-motion flying demon became the man-in-suit monster Dagoth, played by Andre The Giant. A script for CONAN III, a sequel to CONAN THE DESTROYER, was written by Karl Wagner, but the flick never got any traction. Another Conan movie, however, did manage to successfully bypass development hell years later and reached cinemas everywhere. This was CONAN THE BARBARIAN (2011), starring Jason Momoa, a movie I’ve just never been very keen on. But, hey, everyone has their own views concerning the pros and cons of these three produced Conan films. What I find really interesting are the other Conan projects that DIDN’T get made.

So let’s delve into these unproduced Conan movies now. If any of the projects featured creatures in them we’ll definitely take a close look at these beasties (because this is the Monster Zone blog, right?)

MILTON SUBOTSKY’S CONAN

Milton Subotsky, famous for producing such horror films as TALES FROM THE CRYPT (1972) and FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE (1974), actually attempted to purchase film rights to Robert E. Howard’s Conan the Barbarian stories a long time before they were acquired by Hollywood, but Subotsky ended up buying the rights to Lin Carter’s Thongor stories in 1976 instead. Subotsky had never planned to make his Conan film too violent and bloody, so perhaps it was a good thing that he didn’t acquire the Conan stories and decided to do an adaptation of Carter’s novel The Wizard of Lemuria. The project, called THONGOR IN THE VALLEY OF DEMONS, was bankrolled by United Artists – and preproduction drawings were made and a stop-motion monster puppet was built – but UA then withdrew from the project… and THONGOR was no more.

Subotsky was considering casting David Prowse as Conan
Subotsky was considering casting David (STAR WARS) Prowse as Conan

CONAN THE CONQUEROR

This would have been a Raffaella De Laurentiis production, written by Charles (THE FLY) Pogue. It looked like there was every possibility this film would get made, but Arnold Schwarzenegger ultimately never committed to the project, which was subsequently reworked to become the cheesy-but-sorta-watchable KULL THE CONQUEROR (1997), starring Kevin Sorbo as Howard’s Atlantean hero. Pogue’s version of the script would have featured a shark attack sequence.    

Shark-themed cover for issue 192 of Marvel's The Savage Sword of Conan comic. The CONAN THE CONQUEROR movie would've featured a shark attack sequence.
Shark-themed cover for issue 192 of Marvel’s The Savage Sword of Conan comic. The CONAN THE CONQUEROR movie would’ve featured a shark attack sequence.

KING CONAN: CROWN OF IRON

A script, detailing Conan having a son and becoming King of Zingara, was written by John (THE WIND AND THE LION) Milius.

A sample page from the script
A sample page from the Milius script

The film would have been produced by the Wachowskis, who were still hot from their success with THE MATRIX. But the Wachowskis lost interest in the project, then Robert Rodriguez became connected to the production, though John Milius also departed the film, and, eventually, chances of the movie getting made evaporated after Rodriguez found himself juggling too many projects and was unable to commit to it. The film would’ve featured… the Ice Worm!

Cover page of John Milius' script
Cover page of John Milius’ script

IRON SHADOWS

This low budget project actually went into production!

'Coming soon'. Yeah, right
‘Coming soon’. Yeah, right

The film, based on the Robert E Howard 1934 story Iron Shadows in the Moon (aka Shadows in the Moonlight), started shooting in Thailand, a country where a small budget can definitely go further. The fact that the original story was not too epic in scale also ensured that the production had a chance of putting something interesting on screen. Starring Pasi Schalin in the role of Conan, IRON SHADOWS was produced by George (CINEMA OF VENGEANCE) Tan and directed by Kit Mallet… in 3D!  

Pasi Schalin played Conan
Pasi Schalin played Conan

Thinking that there would be no copyright issues because the original Conan story was in the public domain, the filmmakers got a nasty surprise when they received a cease and desist letter from the Conan rights-holders. The production ground to a halt, but some of the footage that had been shot can be found online. 

Pasi Schalin wearing Southeast Asian-looking warrior garb
Pasi Schalin wearing Southeast Asian-looking warrior garb

The original Howard story featured a fight between Conan and a grey man-ape, a gang of pirates and living statues. A fanged, Grinch-faced man-ape costume was created for the film, and shots were taken of it on location.


Publicity shot of Andrea Stefancikova, the grey man-ape, and Pasi Schalin
Publicity shot of Andrea Stefancikova, the grey man-ape, and Pasi Schalin
Be careful, Conan, there's a grey man-ape lying down on the other side of that boulder...
Be careful, Conan, there’s a grey man-ape lying down by that boulder…

Here are two behind the scenes shots of the grey man-ape…

Above: the two pics of the man-ape show that he kind of resembled a 'bigfoot'
Above: the two pics of the man-ape show that he kind of resembled a ‘bigfoot’

Some screenshots from the IRON SHADOWS footage…


Above: three shots from the unfinished film. The bottom image shows Toby Russell (son of Ken Russell) playing an ivory-skinned god who comes down to Earth during a flashback scene.
Above: three shots from the unfinished film. The bottom image shows Toby Russell (son of Ken Russell) playing a robed, ivory-skinned god who comes down to Earth during a flashback scene.

Interestingly, even though the production stalled and was never completed, George Tan did toy with the idea of restarting the project. He commissioned David Fitzgerald (a sculptor and also the voice artist on the 2019 short THE FIRST MEN IN THE MOON) to build a new, far better-looking man-ape costume.

Version 2 of the grey man-ape…

This second version of the man-ape costume had extended arms and more of a gorilla-like build. Fitzgerald also gave the ape creature long, grey hair hanging from its head.


The Mark 2 man-ape had a long, slashing bony claw on each hand
The mark 2 man-ape had a long, slashing bony claw on each hand

Some behind the scenes shots of the ape costume under construction…

The under-skull of the man-ape costume takes shape
The under-skull of the man-ape costume takes shape
The detailed ape outer face with moveable jaw and lots of skin texture
The detailed ape outer face with moveable jaw and lots of skin texture

The man-ape's head with the long, grey hair added
The man-ape’s head with the long, grey hair added
Clay sculpt of one of the ape's feet
Clay sculpt of one of the ape’s feet

This ape suit was completed and delivered to Tan, but IRON SHADOWS has remained in limbo.

PEOPLE OF THE SERPENT

George (TRINITY GOES EAST) Tan, producer of the unfinished IRON SHADOWS film, commissioned another Conan script, called PEOPLE OF THE SERPENT. Based a non-Conan tale by Robert E Howard, the story was retooled to include Conan and a swamp-god monster called Yug-Ommog.

The script involved the inhabitants of a treacherous swampland zone praying to the great stone idol of their local deity, known as Yug-Ommog. George Tan oversaw the construction of a full-scale model of the idol and also ordered the creation of a tentacle-faced Yug-Ommog monster costume. This creature suit was constructed by low budget effects expert Brett (MUTANT WAR) Piper, who created Yug-Ommog by repurposing a critter costume originally built for the 2009 film MUCKMAN. 

Concept sketches showing how the arms of original Muckman creature costume were going to be updated to become the arms for the Yug-Ommog monster
Concept sketches showing how the arms of the original Muckman creature costume were going to be updated to become the arms for the Yug-Ommog monster
The revamped arms, ready to be used for Yug-Ommog
The revamped arms, ready to be used for Yug-Ommog
Above: two shots of the Yug-Ommog monster suit's deformed head
Above: two shots of the Yug-Ommog monster suit’s deformed head

Below are some behind the scenes shots of the idol statue, which was constructed in Thailand…

Above: these three shots show how the idol statue would have been very phallic-looking
Above: these three shots show how the idol statue would have been very phallic-looking
The 'stone' base, on which the Yug-Ommog idol statue would stand
The ‘stone’ base, on which the Yug-Ommog idol statue would stand

George Tan then hired gifted artist Jose Luis to draw a comic book version of the script. These gorgeous-looking illustrations would have served as a complete storyboard to aid the shooting of the film – and the drawings would also have formed the contents of a tie-in comic book, to be published when the film was released.

Detail from a Jose Luis comic page, showing Conan making his way through swampland
Detail from a Jose Luis comic page, showing Conan making his way through swampland
Detail from a Jose Luis comic page, showing Conan facing-off against Yug-Ommog
Detail from a Jose Luis comic page, showing Conan facing-off against Yug-Ommog

PEOPLE OF THE SERPENT didn’t go into production, unfortunately, and Jose Luis’ fine artwork, reminiscent of the kind of b&w illustrations that filled the pages of the wonderful 1970s Savage Sword of Conan comic books, has yet to be published anywhere. Shame. But you never know, one day we might get to see the artwork.

This sketch explores how Conan will look after he's covered in slime, blood and mud!
This preproduction sketch (not drawn by Jose Luis) explores how Conan would look after he gets covered in slime, blood and mud!

CONAN: RED NAILS

An animated feature film, based on the superb Robert E Howard Conan story Red Nails, went into production around 2005, with actor Ron (HELLBOY) Perlman cast as the voice of Conan. The sceptre-wielding villain Tolkemec would have been voiced by Mark (STAR WARS) Hamill. However, as is so very often the way, the production, by Swordplay Entertainment, stalled and it seems very unlikely it will now see the light of day.

A screenshot from some early, rough test footage animation showing Conan running into action
A screenshot from some early, rough test footage animation showing Conan running into action

Some rough animation test footage was shared online, showing a battle sequence involving a big demon and some zombie warriors (none of which featured in the original Howard story)… 

Above: two more screenshots from the animation test footage
Above: two screenshots from the animation test footage

PEOPLE OF THE DARK

This project would have featured the proto-Conan character known as Conan of the Reavers, in a plot based on Robert E Howard’s 1932 short story People of the Dark.

The script included deformed ‘Little People’ (the Children of the Night), who are the grotesque antagonists in the story’s extended flashback sequence. The monstrous descendant of the Little People, a reptilian ‘worm’ creature that appears at the end of the yarn, also featured in the script, which was commissioned by producer George (TOP FIGHTER) Tan.

Preproduction concept drawings of the Little People
Preproduction concept drawings of the Little People

Very early stage concept drawings were done of the creatures. A concept sketch was done of Conan the Reaver too, exploring what he’d look like if the script was changed to make him a 17th century character.

Size comparison preproduction concept art
Size comparison preproduction concept art
An alternative concept design for the regressive worm creature
An alternative concept design for the regressive worm creature
Concept designs for the ‘Children of the Night’ creatures
Preproduction sketch for a 17th century-style Conan the Reaver character
Preproduction sketch for a 17th century-style Conan the Reaver character

The whole project seemed to fizzle, though, as Tan focused his efforts on child-focused motion comics. And that was that. Oh well. 

A location that would've been considered if the decision was made to set the flashbacks in the iron age, rather than the 17th century
A location that would’ve been considered if the decision was made to set the film’s flashbacks in the iron age (as in the original story), rather than in the 17th century

IN CONCLUSION…

The George Tan projects, if they’d been made (and if Tan had been able to fend off any legal actions from rights owners), would certainly have been low budget B movies. But I actually have no problem with this: Hollywood movie versions of Conan always strived to be big scale, epic affairs, so these much smaller-scale Tan-produced films could’ve been the movies that were able to, potentially, use the kind of plots that were similar in scope to many of Robert E Howard’s more tightly-plotted, modestly-scaled Conan short stories. Maybe Tan will finally get one of these films made. I certainly hope so.

But, hey, most folks crave big-canvas Conan productions, and KING CONAN was certainly the Conan project that many, many fans wanted to see get made. Hell, 1982’s CONAN THE BARBARIAN even ends with the image of Arnie’s Conan sitting on the Aquilonian throne!

Arnie in old age makeup as King Conan at the end of CONAN THE BARBARIAN (1982). Is present-day Arnie too old to play King Conan now?
Arnie in old age makeup as King Conan at the end of CONAN THE BARBARIAN (1982). The question is: would present-day Arnie be too old to play King Conan now?

One creative guy found a way to have KING CONAN on his shelf in some form: he printed out the Milius script and custom bound it…

Niiiiiiice
Niiiiiiice

Perhaps, one day, there will be a KING CONAN movie. Let’s wait and see…

Godzilla vs. Destoroyah (1995)

Battlin' beasts!
Battlin’ beasts!
Godzilla doing what he does best: wrecking stuff!
Godzilla doing what he does best: wrecking stuff!

Starring Takurô Tatsumi, Yôko Ishino, Yasufumi Hayashi and Megumi Odaka. Written by Kazuki Ômori. Directed by Takao Okawara. Produced by Shogo Tomiyama and Tomoyuki Tanaka for Toho.  

Will the human protagonists be able to help out?
Will the human protagonists be able to make a difference?

Godzilla is on the verge of a nuclear meltdown and the Japanese defence forces try to freeze the great beast, in an attempt to cool down his rocketing temperature. But there’s another big problem… a mega-monster known as Destoroyah… 

Big G is overheating!
Big G is overheating!

GODZILLA VS. DESTOROYAH was the final Toho Godzilla movie of the Heisei era (this era spanned the years from 1984 to 1995).

Steam rises off the super-heated reptile!
Steam rises off the super-heated uber-beast!

Directed by Takao Okawara (who also directed GODZILLA 2000, GODZILLA VS. SPACEGODZILLA, GODZILLA VS. MOTHRA and GODZILLA VS MECHAGODZILLA II), with a script written by Kazuki Omori and special effects by Koichi Kawakita, this film begins memorably with Godzilla, who is coated in hot, glowing, lava-esque rashes, going on a wrecking spree in Hong Kong.

The rampant radioactive reptile stomps through Hong Kong!
The rampant radioactive reptile stomps through Hong Kong!

It is revealed that Godzilla’s internal nuclear fission processes are going so haywire it seems that Big G is threatening to explode… which is a disaster that could destroy the world. If this wasn’t bad enough, as already mentioned, another monster appears: a creature that is a conglomeration of masses of crustaceans that were mutated by the Oxygen Destroyer weapon used to kill the very first Godzilla back in 1954.

Roar!
Roaring kaiju!
The winged form of Destoroyah
The winged form of Destoroyah

Destoroyah is a novel, nasty kaiju, becoming a massive beast with a large, central head-horn, glowing orange eyes, big tusks projecting from its face, huge shoulder horns and massive wings!


The monsters have a face-off
The monsters have a face-off

Godzilla bests this great beast, which has killed Big G’s son, Godzilla Junior… but Destoroyah returns to fight again, in the guise of a swarm of multiple-legged mini-Destoroyahs! Even after Godzilla wipes out these things, Destoroyah returns yet again in winged form!

Japanese poster
Japanese poster

But Destoroyah is eventually killed and the terminally overheating Godzilla stands alone, dying… so the Japanese defence forces desperately shoot cryo-lasers and fire coolant-projectiles to prevent a full-on meltdown. As an Akira Ifukube theme, reworked with choral voices, plays on the soundtrack, Godzilla roars while his flesh falls off him and he decays… and the human characters watch on as radiation levels rapidly reduce… …and the camera moves through the smoke and steam and there, backlit, is Godzilla Junior, who has been brought back to life by his dying father’s energies, and has rapidly matured, ready to take on the role of king of the monsters. This is truly the most emotional moment in Godzilla history! I’m wiping away a tear as I write about it! 

Bye bye big buddy
Bye bye big buddy

This was an awesome way to end the Heisei-era Godzilla series, with a very memorable-looking Godzilla, who is in pain much of the time, glowing with uncontrollable inner-heat, emitting steam, bleeding lava, his back-plates flickering erratically. In many scenes the water actually boils all around him as he strides through the sea. Great stuff!

Finally, let’s check out an amazing poster by the late, great Japanese artist Noriyoshi Ohrai. Here Noriyoshi ensures that the image of the terminally overheating ‘burning Godzilla’ is centred in the painting, with Godzilla Junior positioned in front of him, hinting at what happens during the movie’s finale…

This is a terrific poster!
This is a terrific poster!

Rising Boas in a Girl’s School (2022)

The main giant serpent attacks security guards!
The main giant serpent attacks security guards!

Starring Zheng Long, Peng Bo, Shi Xuanru, Pang Yong and Cao Tiankai. Written by Xie Wenjun, directed by Guo Yulong and Xie Wenjun. Produced by Li Shi.

Cool bit of promotional art
Cool bit of promotional art

A ginormous snake escapes from a snake farm (that’d been using illegal growth hormones in its feed to breed larger reptiles for its snakeskin handbag business) and slinks down to the nearby Haixi Flight Attendant Aviation College, where it runs amok, accompanied by masses of regular-sized, aggressive serpents. A valiant security guard (Long) and a feisty student (Bo) team-up to help a group of survivors holed up in the college buildings live through the ordeal.

The huge snake claims another victim!
The huge snake claims another victim!

This film should technically have been called ‘Rising Boas in a Flight Attendant Aviation College’, but I guess that title was far less punchy! Setting this film in this location does provide the filmmakers with an excuse to show droves of screaming female students, wearing figure-hugging white skirts and light blue blouses, clattering around in their high heels, as the huge snake rampages about the college, in scenes that really ramp up the movie’s cheesy fun factor.

A film that mixes killer snakes with student flight attendants!
A film that mixes killer snakes with student flight attendants!
Stampeding student stewardesses!
Stampeding student stewardesses!

Some girls and their teachers get gobbled up, then the story transitions into the siege-focused part of the plot. Despite a title that Freud would have salivated over, the film steers away from showing anything too lascivious, contenting itself with an occasional shot of, say, a small snake slithering from a dead student’s skirt or the scene where a snake crawls over an underdressed character whilst she’s in the middle of indulging in some blindfolded foreplay with her boyfriend. But none of this is as exploitative as the sweaty promotional art, which seems to promise something more risqué. There’s nothing here that reaches the delirious, manic, mondo heights of 80s Hong Kong schlock-fest CALAMITY OF SNAKES, for instance.

Boas like bras?
Boas like bras?

A sequence with the guard hero hanging from cables strung between two buildings, with the mega-snake curled up below him and two smaller snakes making their way along the cables, is well-handled, with special effects that are on a par with the kind of FX seen in similar flicks.

A variation on one of the promotional images
A variation on one of the promotional images
The massive boa looks quite good in some of its scenes
The massive boa looks quite good in some of its scenes

By the midpoint the film tries to become a little more serious, as more people get picked off and squabbles break out amongst the survivors. There’s a pause in the action to allow an elitist, selfish student to be lectured about the importance of working people, in a speech bound to please the Chinese Communist Party censors, and then the fun stuff kicks back into gear as the huge snake launches another attack.

Nom, nom, nom...
Nom, nom, nom…

The guard protagonist has a moment of self-doubt (heroes in these movies often do), but he’s soon taking part in an enjoyable finale that sees the survivors tooling themselves up with homemade fireworks-bazookas. This extended showdown, ending with the recently-eaten security guard somehow surviving and crawling back out of the dead snake’s mouth, helps make this movie mindlessly marvellous in its own trashy, limited way, but it would’ve been far better if it had retained the silly, kitsch vibe of the first act.

The survivors use 'fireworks-bazookas' during the finale!
The survivors use ‘fireworks-bazookas’ during the finale!

One last look at the mega-snake…

Super-sized snake on the prowl!
Super-sized snake on the prowl!