All posts by Ken Miller

Helldriver (2010)

Don't mess with this young woman!
Don’t mess with this young woman!
Nom, nom, nom...
Nom, nom, nom…

Starring Yumiko Hara, Eihi (AUDITION) Shiina, Yurei Yanagi, Kazuki Namioka, Kentaro Kishi and Mizuki Kusumi. Written by Daichi Nagisa, directed by Yoshihiro (TOKYO GORE POLICE) Nishimura, produced by Yoshinori Chiba and Hiroyuki Yamada
for Nikkatsu/Something Creation.

Eihi Shiina plays the disturbed Rikka
Eihi Shiina plays the disturbed Rikka

When a strange cloud of ash spreads across northern Japan, creating infected maniacs with horn-like tumours poking from their foreheads, the authorities are forced to build a wall to divide the country and keep their citizens safe. Though the prime minister continually stresses that the zombie-like denizens in the north should still be treated as humans, another member of the government secretly has a young, injured woman called Kika (Hara) turned into an experimental android… who is unleashed up north so that she can start killing off the infected. Kika is more than willing to do this because she wants to hunt down her mother Rikka (Shiina), who is patient zero: she’s the person who was hit by an orange meteorite and is symbiotically connected to the alien starfish that controls all of the infected!

Yumiko Hara plays Kika!
All the infected zombies have yellow/orange horn-like tumours growing from their heads
All the infected zombies have yellow/orange horn-like tumours growing from their heads

This is J-sploitation cinema at its most extreme and bizarre. Amazingly splattery geysers of blood deluge victim after victim, the designs for the zombies are outlandish, colourful and outrageous, crude-yet-cool special effects, which are purposefully stylised sometimes, continually assault the eyes, and the film is madly, urgently, perversely imaginative throughout.

Zombie geisha with a samurai sword!
Zombie geisha with a samurai sword!
This film is very, very bloody!
This film is very, very bloody!
Brain-eating time
Brain-eating time!
Arm-eating time!
Arm-eating time!
Face-eating time!
Face-eating time!

Director Yoshihiro Nishimura, who wrote and edited the movie, as well as doing the character designs, doesn’t try to make a film that operates on a real world level: in the reality of this flick Kika can have her heart pulled out by her evil mother and still survive! It’s explained that alien goo from the meteorite changed Kika’s body chemistry so that she doesn’t need a heart, but you get the feeling Nishimura doesn’t really care about what would really happen, he just likes the excuse to come up with madcap visuals, including the scene where Rikka triumphantly holds up her daughter’s bloody heart and shoves it into the gaping cavity in her own chest!

Kika’s own mother rams her hand into Kika’s body…
…and Rikka laughs as blood sprays everywhere…
Rikka rips out her own daughter's heart!
…and Rikka holds up her daughter Kika’s ripped-out heart…
...but Kika somehow survives this and becomes an avenging zombie-killer!
…but Kika somehow survives this and becomes an avenging zombie-killer!

Somewhat reminiscent of early Peter Jackson gore flicks, this Japanese movie is far more anarchic and surreal. Where else would you see a purple-faced zombie chopping off the heads of other zombies with a big sword, catapulting the mass of still-living heads through the air in a barrage that strikes the vehicle Kika and her companions are driving in? Where else would you see a zombie woman with extra ‘child arms’ poking from her face and many other arms sprouting from her limbs? Even her legs are actually arms, and a male forearm extends from her groin! Where else would you see Kika’s zombie uncle (with a swastika branded on his forehead) chasing the protagonists and collecting a bunch of body parts so that he can construct a bizarre zombie car made from limbs, feet and torsos?!

Kika’s parasite-controlled uncle builds a car out of body parts!
Kika’s parasite-controlled uncle builds a car out of body parts!
This female zombie has extra ‘child arms’ sticking from her face!
This female zombie has extra ‘child arms’ sticking from her face!

Some sequences reach a level of utter strangeness that you don’t think can be topped… and then an even more odd, imaginative & weird thing occurs, such as when we’re confronted by Rikka sitting on top of a massive headless body constructed from the parts of thousands upon thousands of zombies. And yet… it gets even more bizarre and outrageous, as the giant figure grabs two rockets and uses them to propel itself through the sky, with the thousands of zombie parts shifting about, so that the giant figure now resembles a passenger plane made from living corpses! Oh, the madness!

Yes, this plane is made from hundreds and hundreds of living corpses!
Yes, this plane is made from hundreds and hundreds of living corpses!

The film fetishises the recurring images of characters getting totally drenched in eruptions of blood, and Nishimura does get crueller sometimes, for instance when he shows one captive young woman getting her nipples bitten off, causing yet another deluge of spurting red stuff.

Blood spays over Kika!
Blood spays over Kika!
Blood sprays over everybody in this film!
Blood sprays over everybody in this film!

Lurid shifts in colour, from blues, to greens, to reds, to purples, pinks and yellows, add to the visual overload, while heavy rock guitars dominate the soundtrack. The movie’s credits suddenly appear 48 minutes into the film, just as Japan’s prime minister is torn limb from limb in a furious fountain of more blood! Border guards wear implausible, curved helmets, Kika has an engine strapped to her chest that powers her chainsaw-sword, and a female zombie uses her zombie baby as a weapon, swinging it around on its umbilical cord! A bulky zombie dude is covered in samurai swords that poke from his body like metal porcupine quills! The deviant uncle zombie gets chainsawed up the backside and yells, “I dig it! I dig it!” The alien parasite that has wrapped itself around the back of Rikka’s head resembles a cyclopean Patrick Star from SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS, and, well, I can’t go on describing all the mega-carnage, creative character concepts and kaleidoscopic chaos in this film any longer!

The border guards wear very distinctive helmets
The border guards wear very distinctive helmets
This monstrous zombie has loads of katana blades sticking out of him!
This monstrous zombie has loads of katana blades sticking out of him!

Just go watch it and see for yourself!

Rikka has a starfish-shaped alien attached to the back of her head!
Rikka has a starfish-shaped alien attached to the back of her head!

Quatermass 2 (1957)

Alien blob monster!
Alien blob monster!

Starring Brian Donlevy, John Longden, Sid James, Bryan Forbes, William Franklyn, Vera Day, Tom Chatto, Percy Herbert and Michael Ripper. Written by Nigel Kneale and Val Guest, directed by Val Guest for Hammer Films.

Beware of what lurks within the domes...
Beware of what lurks within the domes…

Sheila (Vera Day) becomes a victim of an alien  projectile
Sheila (Vera Day) becomes a victim of an alien projectile
Hammer regular Michael Ripper don't need no gas mask!
Hammer Films regular Michael Ripper don’t need no gas mask!

Known as ENEMY FROM SPACE in the US, this film adaptation of the BBC sci-fi-horror television serial sees the brusque, no-nonsense Professor Bernard Quatermass (Donlevy) uncovering the fact that a UK industrial plant at Winnerden Flats, which claims it is manufacturing synthetic food, is actually an acclimatisation bridgehead for an alien invasion.

Marsh (Bryan Forbes) succumbs to a micro alien that enters his body via a V-shaped scar
Marsh (Bryan Forbes, before he became a director) succumbs to a micro alien that enters his body via a V-shaped scar

Hammer’s second Quatermass film features humans being taken over by micro aliens that leave v-shaped entry scars on their victims, CARRY ON movies regular Sid James getting machine-gunned, and a finale where the mass of micro aliens become huge blob monsters! These practical effects gunge-things only appear during the finale and are really quite effective as they squirm and wobble in our atmosphere.

Shambling mounds of alien muck!
Shambling mounds of alien muck!

The scene that always sticks in my mind is the moment the protagonists realise the oxygen pipe feeding into the alien dome has been blocked by pulped human beings! This is not shown, but just the idea of the aliens doing this to the people shocked my young brain when I first watched the film as a kid. Another effective sequence involves a member of parliament, Vincent Broadhead (Chatto), sneaking a look at the ‘food’ in one of the domes, which results in him getting burned by the stuff and staggering down metal steps, covered in black, smoking, corrosive slime.

 Broadhead dies unpleasantly
Broadhead dies unpleasantly

The industrial plant location is utilised well by director Val Guest. It was a real oil refinery at Shell Haven in Stanford-le-Hope, Essex, on the Thames Estuary (and it had been used previously as the location for the Winnerden Flats alien complex in the BBC serial too). The grim and overcast cinematography of director of photography Gerald Gibbs, and matte paintings courtesy of special effects designer Les Bowie (used to add the giant incubation domes to the complex), all combine to make the place a believable, forbidding central location, adding immeasurably to the enjoyment of the film.

The movie nicely creates a feeling of slow-building tension as Quatermass and others realise that the aliens have already started to take over various officials in positions of power, imbuing the film with INVASION OF THE BODYSNATCHERS vibes, though QUATERMASS 2 is definitely not a retread of that story, remaining a production that is most definitely full of the kind of intriguing plotting you expect from a Nigel Kneale script.

Another look at the blob monsters!
Another look at the blob monsters!

Here are some posters for the movie…

Italian poster
Italian poster
US poster
US poster
French poster
French poster
Belgian poster
Belgian poster
US poster
US poster
Italian poster
Italian poster
UK quad poster
UK quad poster
French poster
French poster

The Beast in the River (2023)

Cannons are fired into the river by Sheriff Hu to kill the creature, which he thinks is just a large fish...
Cannons are fired into the river by Sheriff Hu to kill the creature, which he thinks is just a large fish…

Starring Lim Youwei, Hong Siyang, Wang Tingwen, He Jiangfeng and Gao Shaowei. Written by Wu Weijuan and Zhu Zifa. Directed by Zhang Wei for New Studios Pictures/Shandong Harmony Pictures/Anhui Mengyu Pictures.

Single parent Gu Zhiyuan (Youwei) does low-paid dock work after leaving a life of crime, doing his best to raise his daughter Linglong (Tingwen). When a rampaging river monster comes ashore, causes havoc in the city of Tianjin, then abducts Linglong by snagging her with its tail (in a very similar way to what happens in the 2006 South Korean monster film THE HOST), Zhiyuan sets out to save his daughter.

The beast comes ashore to gobble up some of the townsfolk
The beast leaves the river to gobble up some of the townsfolk

Aided by his journalist sister-in-law Xiaowei (Siyang) and a couple of his friends, Zhiyuan discovers that Wu Xun, a senior doctor at the local children’s hospital, is the man responsible for creating the beast during experiments aimed, so he claims, at saving ill children’s lives. Wu says that he will help them capture the creature, which is using the extensive sewer systems below the city as its lair…

The critter climbs across a roof
The critter climbs across a roof

Lots of action takes place within the labyrinthine sewers, as Zhiyuen, armed with a trident, slashes the creature and leads the enraged beast into a trap, where it is ensnared in a chain net. But Zhiyuan is immediately betrayed by Wu, who is in league with local mob kingpin Master Kun. Wu doesn’t want the beast to be killed, which causes a rift with Master Kun, leading to a shootout in the sewers, enabling the creature to escape.

The toothy bugger roams the sewers
The toothy bugger roams the sewers

After some melodramatics following the death of his best pal, Zhiyuen is arrested on false charges by the Tianjin cops, but Xiaowei persuades the inept head policeman, Sheriff Hu, to let Zhiyuen walk free and hunt for the beast with his officers.

The usual dynamic promotional art
The usual dynamic promotional art

Zhiyuen and one of his buddies capture the creature in the sewers once more but, yet again, Wu intervenes, threatening to shoot the recently-saved Linglong if his beloved beast is hurt. The villainous Wu, you’ll be glad to find out, does meet a fitting, fiery end, though the monster still roams free. It chases Zhiyuen and Linglong to the nearby river landing, where a cops-vs-beast face-off occurs and grappling hooks are deployed to little effect, leaving it up to Zhiyuan to deal with the beast by ramming an explosive package beneath the critter’s skin with his trident, resulting in a downbeat ending as the hero sacrifices his life to take down the monster. Post-credits, however, we are shown Zhiyuan enjoying a meal with Linglong and Xiaowei, so he obviously did survive.

The cops snag the creature with grappling hooks…
The cops snag the creature with grappling hooks and shoot at it, but to no avail...
…and then the policemen shoot at it, but to no avail…
…so our hero stabs a bag of explosives into the critter’s skin…
...and he keeps on stabbing the explosives into the beast, which finally gets blown up
…and he keeps on stabbing the explosives into the beast, which finally gets blown up

The monster in this direct-to-streaming movie, set during the Republic of China period, is a dark-skinned, toothy-faced, quadrupedal, long-tailed amphibious creature with a small-ish neural spine sail. The critter comes across as an amalgamation of the thing from THE HOST with a body structure akin to a Ray Harryhausen stop-motion creation, although the overall look has an alien creature vibe to it too. Though not in the same league as THE HOST, the CGI is passable, the action is brisk, the monster has a decent amount of screen time, and there’s a final shot after the credits to set up a sequel, making this low budget flick an entertaining Chinese creature feature that’s worth checking out.

One final look at the creature...
One final look at the creature…

Monster Movie Posters by Thomas Hodge

Thomas Hodge of The Dude Designs (which he established in 2009) is a leading figure in the welcome resurgence of the old-school film poster art style. Thomas’ work can be seen adorning posters for such films as HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN and WOULD YOU RATHER.
The posters I have chosen to share with you are wonderfully in-your-face artworks that all feature monsters, cyborgs, tentacles, zombies and so on. Well, of course they do – this is the Monster Zone, after all!

Get ready to salivate over these beauties…

FILM POSTERS

A classic monster's-hands-reaching-out-to-the-viewer horror poster design for a movie about a family that goes ice fishing and encounters a creature from the depths!
A classic monster’s-hands-reaching-out-to-the-viewer horror poster design for a movie about a family that goes ice fishing and encounters a creature from the depths! Love the ‘bloody’ title lettering!
Wow! I really love this one!
Wow! I really love this one! It’s stonkingly good!
Lots of stuff to look at in this poster
Lots of stuff to look at in this poster. Niiiiiiiice!
This film features practical make-up/creature effects. I like the emphasis put on that drooling visage!
I like the emphasis put on that drooling, featureless visage!
This poster's retro typography is great!
This poster’s retro typography is great!
Thomas gave Wolfcop a Dirty Harry pose with the biggest possible magnum thrusting out of the picture (because the original tagline was “Dity Harry… But hairier”.)
Thomas gave Wolfcop a Dirty Harry pose with the biggest possible magnum thrusting out of the picture (because the original tagline was “Dirty Harry… But hairier”.)
The main poster art for ANOTHER WOLFCOP.  Wolfcop thrusts a beer at us! 
The main poster art for the sequel, ANOTHER WOLFCOP, has Wolfcop thrusting a beer can at us this time!  This poster’s so full of detail!
This version was produced super quick for the first screening of the movie at Fantasia. It's cool how it parodies Stallone's COBRA!
This version was produced super quick for the first screening of the movie at Fantasia. It’s really fun how it parodies Stallone’s COBRA poster design!
Fox commissioned Thomas to create a ‘just for fun’ mash-up piece to promote their new film VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN online, asking Thomas to basically redo Mel Brooks' YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN poster.
Fox commissioned Thomas to create a ‘just for fun’ mash-up piece to promote their new film VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN online, asking Thomas to basically redo Mel Brooks’ YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN poster.
I really like how this one is dripping in pulpy atmosphere
I really like how this one is dripping in pulpy atmosphere
 This is a wrestling-mutant-zombie film. Great!
 This is a wrestling-mutant-zombie film. Great!
Poster art for a short film based on the Stephen King story of the same name
Poster art for a short film based on the Stephen King story of the same name
Alien abductions and homicidal maniacs in a 80s horror homage!
Alien abductions and homicidal maniacs in a 80s horror homage!
This zombie horror-comedy provided Thomas with his first chance to illustrate a full on comedy visual
This zombie horror-comedy provided Thomas with his first chance to illustrate a full on comedy visual

DVD/BLU-RAY COVERS

The cover art for the 4K Vinegar Syndrome release of FROM BEYOND. This illustration sums up the Lovecraftian fleshiness of the story very nicely!
The cover art for the 4K Vinegar Syndrome release of FROM BEYOND. This illustration sums up the Lovecraftian fleshiness of the story very effectively!
Very cool artwork for the MVD release of SPLIT SECOND (1992)
Very cool artwork for the MVD release of SPLIT SECOND. Sweet!
This is a slight reworking of the artwork Thomas did for Scream Factory, to be used for Studio Canal’s Europe-wide Blu-ray release of THEY LIVE
This is a slight reworking of the artwork Thomas did for Scream Factory, to be used for Studio Canal’s Europe-wide Blu-ray release of THEY LIVE
Blu-ray art for Vinegar Syndrome's release of the fun creature feature TICKS
Blu-ray art for Vinegar Syndrome’s release of the fun creature feature TICKS
The back of the TICKS box art features Clint Howard’s weed farmer character! Awesome!
Cover art for a Blu-ray release of an obscure 80s shot-on-video flick
Cover art for a Blu-ray release of an obscure 80s shot-on-video flick
The final of three designs Thomas did for Vinegar Syndrome’s HOME MADE HORRORS VOL. 1 box set. He decided to focus on one of the stop-motion monsters featured in WINTERBEAS
The final of three designs Thomas did for Vinegar Syndrome’s HOME MADE HORRORS VOL. 1 box set. I love the fact that he decided to focus on one of the stop-motion monsters featured in WINTERBEAST… as it rips off a rock climber’s head!
Another one of the three designs Thomas did for Vinegar Syndrome’s HOME MADE HORRORS VOL. 1 Blu-ray box set 
Cover art for Vinegar Syndrome's Blu-ray re-release of this weird cult film 
 Cover art for Vinegar Syndrome’s Blu-ray re-release of this weird cult film. That’s a very cooooool retro title lock-up 
This artwork was produced for the German Special Edition Blu-ray release
This artwork was produced for the German Special Edition Blu-ray release
Artwork for the German Blu-ray release of this hyper-violent 1991 Hong Kong movie that's loosely based on the Japanese manga 'Riki-Oh'
Artwork for the German Blu-ray release of this hyper-violent 1991 Hong Kong movie that’s loosely based on the Japanese manga ‘Riki-Oh’
The quite risqué artwork for the German special edition Blu-ray release of DELLAMORTE DELLAMORE
The quite risqué artwork for the German special edition Blu-ray release of DELLAMORTE DELLAMORE
Blu-ray cover art for Kotch Media's release of Richard Stanley's fine killer robot flick HARDWARE
Blu-ray cover art for Kotch Media’s release of Richard Stanley’s very fine killer robot flick HARDWARE
Alternative artwork created by Thomas for the Vinegar Syndrome release of Hong Kong undead-in-a-shopping-mall horror-comedy BIO ZOMBIE. This was a limited edition slip for subscribers
Alternative artwork created by Thomas for the Vinegar Syndrome release of Hong Kong undead-in-a-shopping-mall horror-comedy BIO ZOMBIE. This was a limited edition slip for subscribers. It has a super-cool graphic design look!
DVD cover artwork for 88 Entertainment’s release of the Troma classic THE TOXIC AVENGER. It’s a green, slime-tastic cover that suits the subject matter very well

Here’s artwork that Thomas created for Arrow Video’s DVD box set FANTASTIC FACTORY, which comprised four films made by Brian Yuzna’s production company (the films are ARACHNID, FAUST, BEYOND RE-ANIMATOR and ROMASANTA: THE WEREWOLF HUNT).  Thomas took a pulp pop art approach to the classic B movie poster look, and I think they turned out wonderfully…

ARACHNID was a well put together creature feature!
ARACHNID is a well put together creature feature! The practical effects spider-monster in this flick is a great-lookin’ beast!
FAUST looks good in this illustration style
FAUST looks good in this illustration style
The way Jeffrey Combs is drawn here has a Richard Corben vibe to it
The way Jeffrey Combs is drawn here has something of a Richard Corben vibe to it
Thomas ensures that the artwork for ROMASANTA: THE WEREWOLF HUNT has the same pulpy pop art look as the other three covers in this set
Thomas ensures that the artwork for ROMASANTA: THE WEREWOLF HUNT has the same pulpy pop art aesthetic as the other three covers in this set

You can check out Thomas Hodge’s Dude Designs Industries website here: https://thedudedesigns.com/?v=79cba1185463
There you will find that the website is separated into five sections; The Dude Designs (commercial design and illustration work), Dude Apparel (Thomas’ all new clothing label and store), Tom Hodge Art Prints (a store for all of his limited edition art prints), Filmography (which showcases Thomas’ work behind the camera) and Author (a section for his book releases that is coming soon).

Limited edition art print of Thomas' FRANKENSTEIN CREATED BIKERS poster illustration
Limited edition art print of Thomas’ FRANKENSTEIN CREATED BIKERS poster illustration

Finally, here are some private screen print commissions…

Very, very, very nice!
Very, very, very nice!
THE MONSTER SQUAD – awesome!

Tokyo Gore Police (2008)

She's a foxy member of the Tokyo Gore Police!
She’s a member of the Tokyo Gore Police!
Fountains of blood!
Fountains of blood!

Starring Eihi Shiina, Itsuji Itao, Yukihide Benny, Ikuko Sawada and Shun Sugata. Written by Yoshihiro Nishimura and Kengo Kaji. Directed by Yoshihiro Nishimura and produced by Yoko Hayama, Yoshinori Chiba and Satoshi Nakamura for Nikkatsu/Tokyo Shock.

A mutated 'snail' girl
A mutated ‘snail’ girl

In a dystopian future Tokyo, where the police department has become privatised and very fascistic, the city is threatened by criminals known as engineers, who are infected with DNA-altering key-shaped tumours, enabling the villains to mutate if their bodies are wounded. Ruka (Shiina), an ‘engineer hunter’ cop, attempts to deal with these mutant maniacs, but her problems multiply when she has to tackle the police department too, after the Police Commissioner General leads his men on a berserk rampage of wanton killing.

 Eihi Shiina is Ruka
Eihi Shiina is Ruka

Director Yoshihiro Nishimura, who was also the Special Effects Director, Gore Effects & Creature Designer and Editor, ensures that TOKYO GORE POLICE is over the top throughout. Even the way Ruka gets herself to the highest floor of a building is preposterous: she uses a rocket launcher to fly up there! And then she immediately battles a maniacal engineer with a chainsaw embedded in his mutated arm!

Don't mess with Ruka
Don’t mess with Ruka

The lead engineer, known as Keyman (Itao), operates sometimes like a black-gloved, giallo-style murderer, skewering a prostitute with hollow tubes, collecting her blood in bottles, then chopping her up and placing her parts neatly in a box, next to her clothing. Keyman later yanks off the top of his own head, revealing an exposed brain and two metal tubes where his eyes should be. From these twin barrels he starts shooting flesh projectiles at Ruka!

The Keyman rips the top of his own head off!
The Keyman rips the top of his own head off!
Keyman's mutated new look
Keyman’s mutated new look

Cronenberg-style body horror ensues as Keyman inserts one of the key-tumours into Ruka’s arm, causing her forearm to split open lengthways. Ruka, though now an engineer, remains a focused policewoman and is unwavering as she decides to take on the out of control cops led by the Commissioner General, who she finds out was the man who arranged for her father to be assassinated years ago, because he opposed the privatisation of the cops.

Ruka's left hand becomes a monstrous mouth
Ruka’s left hand becomes a monstrous mouth

Spasms of blood and gore abound, as does extraordinary imagery, including: acid-spraying breasts, a living flesh chair that projectile-urinates over a fetish crowd, a shot-up engineer prostitute with a lower half transformed into an enormous pair of reptilian jaws, and an infected policeman’s gigantic, red, prehensile mutant phallus that can shoot people! And these aren’t the only outrageous elements that this Japanese movie possesses, there’s also a mutated girl dressed up to resemble a snail, an amputee gimp woman with katana blades extending from her stumps, a strange, multi-barrelled weapon that fires human hands, and the main cop bad guy who manages to fly through the air thanks to the power of the blood-jets gushing from his leg-stumps!

The living flesh-chair!
The living flesh-chair!
What the heck?!
What the heck?!
The amputee gimp woman with samurai swords sticking from her stumps approaches Ruka
The amputee gimp woman with samurai swords sticking from her stumps approaches Ruka
Fight!
Fight!
One cop character develops a gigantic, mutated penis...
One cop character develops a gigantic, mutated penis…
...yes, that is correct: a gigantic, mutated penis!
…yes, that is correct: a gigantic, mutated penis!

Eihi Shiina plays it straight as the utterly earnest cop, who continues doing her duty even when one of her hands transforms into a tooth-filled maw and her left eye turns into a multi-orbed fleshy-growth. She really fits the part and always looks great, whether posturing on top of her police cruiser with her gnarly mouth-hand, or when she hacks off the hands of a sexual predator with a sword and casually walks away with her parasol lifted, avoiding the rain of blood gushing from the groper’s severed wrists.

After Ruka's right eye is injured it rapidly mutates
After Ruka’s right eye is injured it rapidly mutates
Ruka needs an umbrella to keep all the spurting blood off her!
Ruka needs an umbrella to keep all the spurting blood off her!

The film is told in a more conventional way compared to the director’s later release HELLDRIVER, but this is still crammed with outrageous visuals, including numerous public advertisements for self-harm, and ultra-gore in abundance.

At the end of the movie we see that the amputee gimp woman has teamed-up with Rukka: and now her stumps are fitted with guns!
At the end of the movie we see that the amputee gimp woman has teamed-up with Rukka: and now her stumps are fitted with guns!
I said there was a lot of spraying blood in this flick, right?
I said there was a lot of spraying blood in this flick, right?

TOKYO GORE POLICE is as mad as a box of frogs and glories in its bloody weirdness throughout.

This is one weird, gory flick!
This is one weird, gory flick!

No Way to Escape (2021)

This poster is niiiiiiiice...
This poster is niiiiiiiice…
A giant scorpion snags a fighting femme with its stinger
A giant scorpion snags a fighting femme with its stinger

Starring Yu Sichu, Xu Dongmei, Wu Youxuan, Chen Yichen and Huang Zhenghao, written by Lu Yunfei and Liang Zhongfan, directed by Lu Yunfei. Produced by Chang Bin, Yao Ling, Fu Juan, Wang Lin and Hu Nan.

Don't mess with this lass
Don’t mess with this lass

Three foxy mercenary women are tasked with acting as bodyguards for young Dr Harwin, who is being sent on a mission, as part of a Special Emergency Response Team, to an underground base called Deep Pit located within the western Gobi Desert. This bunker-building, run by OHM Technologies and the military, is a centre for nuclear materials research, but there’s been a gamma ray leak at the bottom of the base, causing the place to be locked down, trapping many researchers inside. After entering the subterranean building it all gets messy when Colonel Krumbach, the leader of the Special Emergency Response Team, orders his troops to start shooting any scientists still surviving in the base, because he doesn’t want witnesses as he prepares to unleash a plan for world domination that relies on the use of giant, mutated scorpions!

A huge scorpion rams its stinger right through a soldier's chest
A huge scorpion rams its stinger right through a soldier’s chest

NO WAY TO ESCAPE seems to be set in some unspecified country that has a diverse ethnic mix within its military, though the good guys do tend to be the Chinese characters. Some of the acting, especially the western dudes playing the obnoxious grunts, is not likely to win any awards. There’s an occasional naff FX shot of helicopters at the start (why do helicopters often look ropey in these sort of films?), but the movie has better production values and art direction compared to similar US flicks made by The Asylum and their ilk. This movie also delivers more on-screen CGI monster action compared to its American counterparts. An added bonus is the fact that NO WAY TO ESCAPE (like other recent Chinese genre flicks) is a commendably short film. It’s definitely no time-waster.

Mid-size mutant scorpions attack!
Mid-size mutant scorpions attack!
Blasting away at the arthropods
Blasting away at the arthropods
A bad guy gets overrun by the scorpions: he deserved it!
A bad guy gets overrun by the scorpions: he deserved it!

When the soldiers, devoid of empathy, murder every researcher they encounter, you find yourself hoping they will get fragged by the massive scorpions at some point, which does, indeed, start to happen. Yay! The svelte and heroic she-soldiers, called Bijiao, Baizhi & Guiche, obviously end up battling these killer arachnids too, but they’re far more skilled and able to deal with these stinger-tailed buggers!

One of the heroines shoots a scorpion, probably in its face!
One of the heroines shoots a scorpion, probably in its face!

There’s definitely stuff to enjoy in NO WAY TO ESCAPE. I kinda liked one of the bigger scorpions, which was a CGI creation, of course, but it had a neat, stop-motion jerkiness to its movements sometimes. There’s also a nice behavioural touch given to Dr Harwin, who always plays with lego or jigsaws as he works things out, hinting that, perhaps, he’s on the spectrum.

A gal and a guy unleash some lead into the big bugs
A gal and a guy unleash some lead into the big bugs

Creature-wise, there are several giant scorpions that differ slightly size-wise, plus the occasional swarm of normal-looking, small scorpions that are actually capable of boring their way through human bodies.

The biggest scorpion smashes up a truck
The biggest scorpion smashes up a truck

The script is forgettable, but a film with action scenes involving Asian Lara Croft wannabes armed with daggers, skirmishing with giant scorpions, is not to be sniffed at, right?

One of the female mercs is chased by a scorpion at the bottom of the secret base
One of the female mercs is chased by a scorpion at the bottom of the secret base

These gals are so tough they never seem to consider using guns against these arthropods, they just wanna start slashing the big bugs with their blades! There’s one extended fight between these three female furies and a scorpion, deep down in the bunker, that is really rather exciting, as the lethal ladies take turns to jump atop the scorpion to skewer it. They then get in some wirework practice as they’re hurled across the chamber by the angry beast! 

These women like to stab scorpions! They'll stab 'em in their tails...
These women like to stab the scorpions with their knives! They’ll stab ’em in their tails…
...and these ferocious fighting femmes will stab 'em in the back too!
…and these ferocious fighting femmes will stab ’em in the back too!

This promotional art doesn’t even bother showing the monster scorpions, it just focuses of the deadly female protagonists…

This trio are ready for action!
This trio are ready for action!

Let’s end this review of one more shot of a giant, six-eyed scorpion…

A monstrous mug shot...
A monstrous mug shot…

Destroy All Monsters (1968)

DESTROY ALL MONSTERS is a movie you must respect!
DESTROY ALL MONSTERS is a movie you must respect!

Godzilla visits the UN building!
Godzilla visits the UN building!

Starring Akira Kubo, Jun Tazaki, Yukiko Kobayashi and Yoshio Tsuchiya. Written by Takeshi Kimura and Ishirō Honda, directed by Ishirō Honda, with music by Akira Ifukube. Special effects directed by Sadamasa Arikawa (aka Teisho Arikawa), with Eiji Tsuburaya in a supervisory role.

Don't trust these ladies...
Don’t trust these ladies…

Ah, the wonderful world of Toho’s Shōwa-era Kaiju flicks… set in that stupendous universe where monsters are an everyday occurrence, the suits worn by astronauts are bright, primary colours (bright yellow in the case of this film), cities are regularly wiped-out (but always reconstitute themselves for the next movie) and the armed forces are always on standby with their numerous rocket launchers, jets and tanks (which pretty much never have the proper firepower to really hurt the monsters!)

Spiega (aka Kumonga)
Spiega (aka Kumonga)
Gorosaurus and Godzilla
Gorosaurus and Godzilla
Astronauts on a mission

In DESTROY ALL MONSTERS Godzilla, Rodan, Mothra (larval stage), Anguirus, Gorosaurus, Manda and other denizens of Monsterland (aka Monster Island) become the pawns of an alien race, called the Kilaaks, who use mind-control devices to turn the (now quite benign creatures) into aggressive, city-wrecking weapons of mass destruction.

Manda on the move
Manda on the move

DESTROY ALL MONSTERS is a staggeringly fun production, with cell-animated laser effects, some sweet model work, a satisfyingly large quota of monsters, and a knockabout final fight near Mount Fuji, where the re-grouped Earth super-critters kick and bite Ghidorah the three-headed space dragon until he’s trashed!

Marching off to war
Marching off to war
Gorosaurus knows kung fu!
Gorosaurus knows kung fu!

The best two portions of the film are the opening scenes, where we get a tour of Monsterland that shows us all the great beasties chilling out on their island home, and, of course, the aforementioned no holds barred multi-monster battle sequence at the end.

Stonkingly amazing stuff!

Rodan chillin' on Monsterland
Rodan chillin’ on Monsterland isle
Fight!!!
Fight!!!
Ghidorah is hard b*stard - but did he really think he could beat ALL those other monsters?!
Ghidorah is a hard b*stard – but did he really think he could beat ALL those other monsters?!

Here are a whole bunch of posters and other artworks that help to glorify the awesomeness that is DESTROY ALL MONSTERS…

US poster - art by Reynold Brown
US poster – art by Reynold Brown
French poster
French poster
US poster
US poster
Turkish poster
Turkish poster
Italian poster - making DESTROY ALL MONSTERS look like a King Kong movie!
Italian poster – making DESTROY ALL MONSTERS look like a King Kong movie!
Japanese poster
Japanese poster
French poster
French poster
US poster
US poster
Uk quad double bill poster
UK quad double bill poster
German poster. The Germans always title Godzilla films with the name 'Frankenstein'!
German poster. The Germans always title Godzilla films with the name ‘Frankenstein’!
Japanese poster
Japanese poster
Finnish poster
Finnish poster
Italian poster
Italian poster
Turkish poster - they've added lots of Gappas to this poster!
Turkish poster – they’ve added lots of Gappas to this poster!
Spanish poster
Spanish poster
Yes, this is another Italian DESTROY ALL MONSTERS poster that thinks it's a King Kong poster!
Yes, this is another Italian DESTROY ALL MONSTERS poster that thinks it’s a King Kong poster!
Belgian poster
Belgian poster
Italian poster
Italian poster
Mondo poster by Paul Mann
Mondo poster by Paul Mann
Mondo poster by Florian Bertmer
Mondo poster by Florian Bertmer
Art by Jerry Winnett
Art by Scott Jackson
Art by Scott Jackson
Criterion Collection artwork
Criterion Collection artwork
The Monster Times cover
The Monster Times cover
Publicity mock-up
Publicity mock-up
Art from book published by Asahi Sonorama
Art from book published by Asahi Sonorama

Here’s a behind the scenes shot of the filmmakers working on a scene with Manda…

Manda is a pretty big puppet
Manda is a pretty big puppet

Let’s end this post with a chance to see Ghidorah getting stomped…

Don't mess with Godzilla, buddy!
Don’t mess with Godzilla, buddy!

Deep Sea Mutant Snake (2022)

A big snake on a cruise liner!
A big snake on a cruise liner!

Starring Zhao Yixin, Li Jiayi, Qiu Shijian, Jiang Yan-Xi, Emir and Waise Lee, written by Wu Yang, Ma Huai-Chang and Dina Hamiti. Directed by Wu Yang for Culture Media Co/Rabbit Hole Film.

These new Chinese monster movies always boast nice promo illustrations
These new Chinese monster movies always boast nice promo illustrations

A research complex on a remote island, used for genetic experiments on snakes by a company called the Carsi Group, is forcefully shut down by its owner (Waise Lee), who even allows his soldiers to mercilessly gun down the scientists (as also happens in the Chinese monster-actioner NO WAY TO ESCAPE), but (surprise, surprise) some of the scaly lab-modified creatures survive…

Battling babes get ready to take on a serpent...
Battling babes get ready to take on a serpent…
...and one of the the she-fighters leaps at the reptile and stabs it with her dagger
…and one of the femme fighters leaps at the reptile and stabs it with her dagger

Featuring what is probably the most beloved type of monster used in this recent wave of Chinese creature features – a massive snake beast – the film begins on the island, switches to a cruise ship location for the movie’s midsection, then returns to the island for the finale.

There's a giant snake right behind you, mate!
There’s a giant snake right behind you, mate!
Normal-sized snakes slither all over the ship
Normal-sized snakes slither all over the ship

After multitudes of the normal-sized, aggressive lab snakes, plus a much larger serpent, crawl up onto the ship we are treated to lots of snakes-on-a-cruise-ship hijinks, as a motley bunch of survivors, led by no-nonsense hero Qin (Yixin), dash about the corridors to avoid the slithering killers. Adding to the danger is the truly massive, crested, mutant snake that rises from the sea and wraps itself around the doomed vessel.

The really huge mutant snake towers over the ship
The really huge mutant snake towers over the ship

Qin and those who’ve managed to avoid the venomous reptiles escape the ship on an inflatable life raft that drifts to the island from which the savage serpents had originated. Here the plot becomes even more monster-tastic, as the characters encounter different types of killer creatures that’ve mutated thanks to the leakage of chemicals from the abandoned labs. My favourite new critters are giant barnacles that cluster along the shoreline. These can extend long, fleshy, prehensile mouthparts to chow down on victims!

Barnacle beasts!
Barnacle beasts!
A barnacle's toothy appendage grabs a victim!
A barnacle’s toothy appendage grabs a victim!
These mutant barnacles are definitely my favourite monsters in this film!
These mutant barnacles are definitely my favourite monsters in this film!

Another monster that’s encountered is a massive, stilt-legged spider that lurks in the tree canopy and is definitely a rip off of the very, very similar bamboo forest arachnid seen in KONG: SKULL ISLAND (2017).

I've seen a long-legged spider-monster like this somewhere before...
I’ve seen a long-legged spider-monster like this somewhere before…

Zhao Yixin plays Qin as a very committed, serious dude on a mission, though he does get to have a sad, reflective moment as he recalls his dead love, who had died earlier investigating the Carsi Group. Qin and the few survivors are, of course, threatened yet again by the mega-snake, but they devise a plan that ends with the snake falling off a cliff and getting chewed to death by the berserk barnacles!

The barnacles attack the mega-snake!
The barnacles attack the mega-snake!

Despite a misleading title (the mutant snake comes from an island, not the deep sea) and colourful promo illustrations that suggest the lead character will be some kind of gun-toting, super-fighter femme fatale (even though that particular character is killed off near the start of the tale), DEEP SEA MUTANT SNAKE is still a perfectly fine example of the typical sort of Chinese monster movie currently being created.

This artwork is niiiiiice
This artwork is niiiiiice

One more look at those cool mutant barnacles…

This one has just eaten somebody
This one has just eaten somebody

Mutant Ghost Wargirl (2022)

It's called MUTANT GHOST WARGIRL: 'nuff said!
It’s called MUTANT GHOST WARGIRL: ’nuff said!
South Korea, 2077
South Korea, 2077

Starring Mu Qimiya, Li Mingxuan, Liu Beige, Cui Zhenzhen, Zheng Yan, Shang Na and Deng Haowen. Written by Xiao Ye, directed by Liu Binjie, produced by Xu Hao, Du Jian and Wang Rui  for Cappu films & Error 404 Productions

Mutant monster alert!
Mutant monster alert!

In 2077, at a time when gene tech has advanced immeasurably, private consortiums invest in gene mutation research, developing mutant warriors with super abilities for use in underground death-combat competitions. In order to keep on top of the increasing mutant crime, the International Security Alliance Organization has been established.

You don't want this woman to smash you with her elbow
You don’t want this woman to smash you with her elbow

Ghost (Qimiya) is an ISAO operative who has been captured by the crime group Medusa Consortium in Korea. Ghost had been on an undercover mission, using the name Wu, but the Medusa Consortium has experimented on her, injecting her with genetic induction solution, resulting in Ghost acquiring powers and losing her memory, so when smart-suited members of the International Security Alliance Organization storm into an experimentation chamber to save her, Ghost/Wu doesn’t know what the hell is happening to her.

You also don't want this woman to smash you on top of your head with her boot
You also don’t want this woman to smash you on top of your head with her boot
Ghost, also known as Wu, is experimented on by a criminal organization
Ghost, also known as Wu, is experimented on by a criminal organization

A shoot-out ensues and it seems that the ISAO operatives are owning the situation… until a huge, slavering mutant monster is unleashed on them! This beast has a maw full of pink, squid-like tentacles and can split open its face like the Demogorgon from STRANGER THINGS. Ghost kicks into action and slices off some of the creature’s tentacle-tongues, but, as she attempts to escape, a leather-clad female Medusa agent with a sharp, blonde wig and super abilities, including teleportation and telekinesis powers, gets in her way, forcing Ghost to unleash her own still-developing mutation-induced skills to do battle with blondie.

Ghost and the ISAO agents face-off against a mutant creature...
Ghost and the ISAO agents face-off against a mutant creature…
...and this monster can eject tentacles from its mouth!
…and this monster can eject tentacles from its mouth!
The beast's face can also peel back like flesh petals
The beast’s face can also peel back like flesh petals

Ghost finally breaks out of the chamber (hidden at the back of a plastic surgery hospital), blacks out and wakes up in an apartment, owned by nice-guy special agent Zhou Yang (Mingxuan). As the plot progresses, we’re introduced to various villains and learn of the different categories of super-humans that have been artificially created, including Class A, Class B and S-Class mutants.

Ghost and agent Zhou Yang
Ghost and agent Zhou Yang

Ghost, who can move so fast that time seems to stand still, also has enhanced strength and is very handy with a long blade. Her powers seem to vary and are not clearly defined, and she uses some skills more sparingly than others. Opponents she faces-off against include Class A mutant Cui Youxi – who can encase her arm in rocks and can manipulate cement & stone as weapons, S-Class mutant Angela – who’s equipped with healing powers, plus high-ranking, wildcard Medusa baddie Li Yongshun – who has heightened telekinesis powers. 

Cui Youxi can cover her fist and forearm in rocks!
Cui Youxi can cover her fist and forearm in rocks!

Though we are led to believe that we’ll be witnessing some illegally-streamed, gladiatorial-style death matches, we see very little of them. That’s not to say that we don’t get mutant-powered fights, which are mainly showdowns that occur between ghost and her various pursuers. The skirmish between Angela and Ghost is resolved quicker than expected, especially considering Angela is meant to be a super-tough S-Class mutant, but the end fight confrontation focusing on a blade-wielding Ghost going up against Li Yongshun is better, with Ghost seemingly outclassed at first, getting telekinetically hurled around an opulent room, smashing into walls and pillars, spitting out gouts of blood as she’s injured. Even when she starts fighting back she has to contend with her opponent filling the air with hundreds of glass shards.

Li Yongshun controls a cloud of glass shards
Li Yongshun controls a cloud of broken glass
A high-kicking, colourful, superficial time-waster
A high-kicking, colourful, superficial time-waster

Ultimately, MUTANT GHOST WARGIRL doesn’t live up to the promise of its beginning, where we were treated to shots of Ghost and the ISAO agents fighting the massive muto-monster and the foxy, bewigged blonde Medusa agent in the experimental chamber. Nothing that follows manages to be quite as good or as outlandish as that opening sequence.

The wig-wearing telekinetic villainess
The wig-wearing telekinetic villainess

But the film, which is obviously influenced by AKIRA (hologram-festooned future cityscapes & some similar-sounding wraith-like choral music), GHOST IN THE SHELL (geisha robots) and X-MEN (super-powered mutants), does manage to always look good. There are some fun, high-kicking battling babe scraps, some decent quality, detailed CGI effects, and the art direction is consistently eye-catching, meaning that this Chinese flick, though superficial and far from original, never outstays its welcome.

At one point Ghost seems to freeze time when she moves very quickly
At one point Ghost seems to freeze time when she moves very quickly
Though the various pieces of super-colourful promotional artworks seem to promise more than is delivered, this flick is still a diverting, though derivative, sci-fi-actioner
Though the various pieces of super-colourful promotional artwork seem to promise more than is delivered, this flick is still a diverting, though derivative, sci-fi-actioner

Snow Monster (2019)

This horned yeti is huge!
This horned yeti is huge!
Beauty and the beast
Beauty and the beast

Starring Wu Juncheng, Zhang Yongxian and Tang Xin, written by Sheng Fan Zhang and Pian Jia Leng, directed by Huang He.

Roar!
Roar!

Also known as SNOW MONSTER VS ICE SHARK, this was made for Chinese streaming platform Youku. The story is set in 2045 and sees the Hong Gene Research advance team exploring an unknown Arctic area which, we are informed, has unstable magnetic fields that suggest the zone could produce genetic variations. Contact is lost with the advance team, so Ren Yi Fei (Juncheng) is asked to lead a rescue mission, which he readily accepts to do because his ex-girlfriend, Xiao Qin (Yongxian), is one of the missing researchers.

Also known as SNOW MONSTER VS ICE SHARK
Also known misleadingly as SNOW MONSTER VS ICE SHARK

Ren and his team, which includes chubby motormouth Wen (Xin), kindly Hong Gene Research exec Uncle Lin, beefy dreadlocked dude Tyson and some armed mercenary-types, don’t begin an arduous trek through snowy landscapes, which is what I expected. Instead, they actually go to a Chinese temple ruin and, after CGI rock spires thrust from the ground, enter a cavernous area littered with the skeletons of Qi Dynasty soldiers. Here they’re assaulted by flocks of jagged-beaked crow-like cave-birds that locate their victims via sound. Individual birds in this sequence look better than the CGI shots of them swarming around en masse. After tramping through the caves, the rescue team almost immediately reaches a mountainous Arctic region! Either the filmmakers have no real concept of distance, or this quick transition is due to the ‘quantum malfunctions’ and the ‘space rainbow layer hypothesis’ that Uncle Lin eagerly talks about for a while.

One of the cave-birds crawls from a human skull
One of the cave-birds crawls from a human skull

Passing by the skeleton of a carnivorous dinosaur in the snowy wastes, the team is suddenly attacked by a huge ice shark! At first I assumed the spiky-chinned killer fish had leapt from an unseen lake beneath an ice sheet, but no: this critter actually swims through the snow, in a way similar to the titular creature from the US cheapie SNOW SHARK: ANCIENT SNOW BEAST (2011)! Unlike in that film, or AVALANCHE SHARKS (2014), the shark in SNOW MONSTER looks pretty cool and effective! This leaping shark, which has a mouthful of super-sharp teeth, seems set to devour the team, but a gigantic yeti-like creature grabs the shark, slams it against rocks, then munches on it. This is a dumb-yet-fun sequence!

An ice shark leaps from the snow!
An ice shark leaps from the snow!
The ice shark has LOTS of teeth!
The ice shark has LOTS of teeth!
The snow monster kills the ice shark
The snow monster kills the ice shark

This seriously huge man-beast is the creature we’ve come to see! It has ram-like horns and is reminiscent of an enormous, more benign version of the wampa seen in THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK (1980). It seems to be portrayed mainly by a man in a suit, though the bleached-out nature of the snowy landscapes, which are nearly all green screen stage shots, make the white-furred snow monster look quite recessive much of the time, so the creature can be mistaken for a CGI creation even when it isn’t. 

A close-up of the snow monster's visage
A close-up of the snow monster’s visage

Anyway, the mega-yeti seems friendly, but a scared merc accidentally fires at the snow monster, and the rescue team looks to be in big, big trouble yet again, but a tribe of elf-eared indigenous folk come to help out and it’s revealed that their queen can communicate with the snow monster, which is considered to be a sacred animal that the tribe meets on the third day of the twelfth lunar month every year.

The elf-eared folk begin their ceremony...
The elf-eared folk begin their ceremony…
...the snow beast appears...
…and the snow beast appears

The movie’s subtle score is quite affecting in places. I’d even go so far as to say that the music sometimes counterbalances the so-so nature of the special effects, making some scenes better than they had any right of being, such as when our heroes and the tribespeople are visited by the humungous snow monster during a key ritual. It’s actually rather poignant when Ren and Xia Qin bond with the beast by touching one of its big, black fingernails.

...and the creature extends a finger for the protagonists to touch...
The creature extends a finger for the protagonists to touch…
...and the snow beast bonds with the humans
…and the snow beast bonds with the good humans

This quiet moment is broken when the mercenaries, led by Uncle Lin, who has revealed that he is, in fact, a dastardly cad called Mr Henry, fire missiles and shoot at the snow monster. The yeti is hit with one of Mr Henry’s electrified super-bullets and falls from view. The mercs then shoot a lot of the tribe and force the queen to lead them to the snow monster, but she takes them instead to a zone full of yet more ice sharks! The sharks get electrocuted, though, and things get ugly when the queen is shot, which enrages the snow monster. The dying queen passes a sacred bangle to her acrobatic warrior-woman daughter Kaya… and then fighter jets arrive!? The planes use magnetic sound waves to subdue the towering yeti, buying time for Mr Henry to shoot the snow monster with another electro-bullet, further entrapping the yeti so that he can hopefully extract gene samples from the creature, which the villain claims will be full of mysterious, useful qualities.

Mr Henry with his big gun that fires electro-bullets
Mr Henry with his big gun that fires electro-bullets

After a finale that comes complete with exploding jets, kung fu scuffles and Mr Henry getting squashed under the yeti’s huge hand, the snow monster shares a look with Kaya, acknowledging her as the successor to the dead queen.

Pointy-eared tribespeople
Pointy-eared tribespeople

As with so many of the tsunami of Chinese-made monster movies recently released, the poster artwork promises more than the film can hope to deliver but, damn it, I ended up enjoying this creature feature anyway, shoddy though it sometimes is in the FX department, mainly because the director managed to inject some heart into the latter stages of the production.

The artwork makes the snow monster look far more nasty
The artwork makes the snow monster look far more nasty

Let’s end with a final look at one of those nifty ice sharks…

The shark opens its toothsome maw!
The shark opens its toothsome maw!