Lam Ching-Ying | Monster Zone

You need to hold your breath if you want to 'hide' from a vampire! — You need to hold your breath if you want to ‘hide’ from a vampire!

Starring Lam Ching-Ying, Ricky Hui, Chin Siu-Ho, Sandra Ng, Suki Kwan, Billy Lau and Tsui Man-Wah. Directed by Ricky Lau, written by Lo Wing-Keung.

Lam Ching-Ying returns as… Master Lam Ching-Ying, an expert in vampirism looking into an outbreak of the undead in an area overseen by a General (Lau), who is married to Lam’s former love.

Lam and his two assistants (Hui & Siu-Ho) really have their hands full, however, because they also need to deal with an evil servant’s plot to grow the spirit of an angry aborted child in the belly of the General’s pregnant wife. Running out of options, they call on exorcist Birdie (Ng) to help out, and she’s more than happy to aid them, since she really has the hots for Lam!

Child spirits, who like to be fed eggs — Child spirits, who like to be offered eggs to eat

MR. VAMPIRE 1992 uses the notion that the spirits of aborted children remain in the form of kids as a major supernatural element to the story, with certain child-spirits becoming frustrated and dangerous due to the fact their mothers had several abortions, thwarting any chance of the spirits getting reincarnated. But this interesting concept is not really explored and is shoved aside in favour of scatological humour and general silliness.

Lam uses his powers to draw the evil child-spirit from his former lover's belly — Lam uses his powers to draw the evil child-spirit from his former lover’s belly

At one point the blue-faced child-spirit's visage is superimposed over the pregnant woman's face — At one point the blue-faced child-spirit’s visage is superimposed over the pregnant woman’s face

A mid-point sequence in a village entirely overrun by hopping vampires looks like more effort was made to ensure that it was well-lit and atmospheric, plus there’s a slo-mo parade of spirits in the woods that is nicely-handled.

This is the leader of the hopping vampires that infest the village

Billy Lau enjoys himself playing the vamp-infected General who can’t stop doing little vampire-hops every now and then, Sandra Ng is amusing as the Lam-obsessed Birdie, all the stuff about having to grind down vampire teeth to make a curative powder is fun, and the final-reel showdown, where Lam and co. battle an electrically-powered, bald, veiny demon-child, the acrobatic, tough-fighting maidservant and another bunch of hopping vampires, is diverting and decently-done.

Master Lam Ching-Ying files down the fangs of the General's father, who has become a vampire — Master Lam Ching-Ying files down the fangs of the General’s father, who has become a vampire

The spirit of an angry, aborted child zaps the heroes

The evil maidservant eventually explodes!

The above scenes manage to compensate, to a certain degree, for the parts of the film that are flatly-lit, pointless or tiresomely obsessed with pissing and shitting jokes.

He's a very angry spirit-youngster! — He’s a very angry spirit-youngster!

Basically, the film needed more action and less middling filler material.

The bit where Ricky Hui and Chin Siu-Ho disguise themselves to infiltrate the vampire-infested village is definitely the best part of the film — The bit where Ricky Hui and Chin Siu-Ho disguise themselves as the undead to infiltrate the vampire-infested village is definitely the best part of the film

One-Eyebrow Priest, played by Lam Ching-Ying (who also directs the movie), has his hands full with bat infestations, ghosts and vampires in his neighbourhood.

The Taoist priest hero and his two disciples

Okay, there isn’t really a central plot-line to VAMPIRE VS VAMPIRE. Rather, it presents us with a series of occult happenings for our hero Lam to deal with.

You can always rely on Lam Ching-Ying to play a stoic, no-nonsense priest

An early set piece involves a ‘palm tree spirit’, which is enticed from its green-leafed abode by tying some string to the toe of one of the priest’s disciples. Once attracted to the disciple’s room, the spirit is revealed to be a red-garbed woman, who can become an animated red shadow. The spirit is dealt with, but more headaches lie ahead for the one-eyebrowed Taoist priest.

A ‘palm tree spirit’ hovers over one of the priest's disciples — A ‘palm tree spirit’ hovers over one of the priest’s disciples

So Yip plays the ghost in red — The ghost in red

Don't mess with this priest... — Don’t mess with this priest…

A withered corpse becomes a western-style bloodsucker once the ruby hilt of a sword that transfixes it is removed. Gulping down the blood of a girl (there’s a close-up shot of the corpse’s Adam’s apple bobbing up and down that is a novel-looking special makeup effect), the dried-up cadaver rapidly transforms into a fanged, caped European vampire. One-Eyebrow Priest gets involved, of course, and gives the undead dude a battering. He jams a coin sword into its eye socket, burns it with a flaming log, boots it… and then lobs a large nun onto the bloodsucker, so that it gets forced under the surface of some oily quicksand!

This dude obviously doesn't floss — This dude obviously doesn’t floss

Together with the westernised vampire (played by Frank Juhas), this Hong Kong picture adds several other Hammer-esque elements. For instance, a group of Christian nuns are introduced, living in a church. There are bats too, of the Hammer hanging-on-a-wire variety.

Actually, though most of the bats are obviously fake, there is a well-mounted bat siege involving the nuns in the old church. Trapped in the room, the nuns must block off a doorway with planks, as the flying fiends attempt to bite their way in. Individually, the set pieces are quite novel and enjoyable, but the film is too haphazard, lacking a central focus to the story.

About the only ongoing narrative thread is the continued reappearance of a ‘good’ hopping vampire child, who regularly helps out One-Eyebrow Priest and his two pupils, although this kiddy-corpse only really serves as light relief.

Watchable fun while it’s on, VAMPIRE VS VAMPIRE is not in the same league as other Hong Kong vampire flicks, such as MR. VAMPIRE (1985).

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