Starring Stephanie Ward, Michael John Gilbert, Berndele March, Ryan Santiago, Madisen Zabawa, Olivia Walton and Olga N. Bogdanova. Written and directed by Matthew A. Peters. Produced by Joe Cappelli, Avery Guerra, Ainslee Looman, Anthony Clark Pierce, Brandon Wheeler, Sifundo Nene and Brandon Wheeler.
Mad Angel Films 

A toothy humanoid creature known as the Graveyard Shark is said to be responsible for the disappearances of various people in the backwater town of Willsboro Point. Abby Wescott (Ward), a wannabe cryptid hunter, is called in to uncover the bloody truth behind these events. Accompanied by her assistant Greg (Gilbert), Abby eventually teams-up with local oddball Captain Seyburn (March) and members of a Graveyard Shark survivors counselling group. Even though the local shades-wearing sheriff (Santiago) says that the Graveyard Shark is just some local folklore nonsense, the critter proves to be all too real when it bloodily attacks a busty, tattooed female deputy whilst she’s enjoying a sex session with her colleague near the latest crime scene! Abby and her allies finally face-off against the creature (one of the counselling group women actually gets it on with the brute!), and the identity of the person who has been secretly helping the blue-skinned beast is revealed…  

GRAVEYARD SHARK is a movie that most definitely doesn’t take itself seriously. The folks behind this knew (I hope) what their limitations were, so they proceeded to deliver a film full of dumb humour, copious amounts of spraying blood, stupid dialogue, boobs and a big beast.

The film’s lighting and cinematography is on par with the general acting quality, which is to say that it’s all strictly amateur hour level. And yet… the filmmakers are obviously having fun, and this adds to the viewing experience. So, when we get the creature’s origin story, we can be sure that it will be a really stupid, stupid, stupid (but fun) origin story! You see, this muscled monster is the result of a union between eccentric loner Captain Seyburn… and a mermaid of colour that Seyburn encountered in a swamp! The whole backstory is explained to Abby as she sits with Seyburn in a diner. Seyburn describes, with the help of flashbacks, how he met a ‘fine-ass mermaid’ and they had comical intercourse which seemed to consist of Seyburn just grinding his groin against the underside of the mermaid’s tail. As Seyburn climaxes in his flashback, the film cuts to a shot of him in the diner, pouring melted butter all over a cooked lobster. Subtle this ain’t! 

Abby learns from Captain Seyburn that the mermaid had returned with a love child, asking him for money to raise their lil’ shark-headed nipper, but Seyburn killed the siren with a shovel instead, burying her and the baby in the cemetery. But, somehow, the tiny mutant shark had clung to life and now it dwells in the graveyard…

This film really is a dumbass nonsense-fest, with such silly scenes as a dream sequence in which Abby gets high and romps in bed with a bigfoot, who is actually Greg in a costume. But I felt compelled to keep watching anyway, in large part because the movie’s titular monster is brought to the screen via the old school method of using a monster suit!

The Graveyard Shark creature has a buff, musclebound humanoid body that is topped with a toothy hammerhead shark face! I’m just a sucker for practical effects creatures, even when it is a cartoony, cheesy-but-cool costume like this one! This hammer-headed fishy freak, designed by Anthony Clark Pierce, is far preferable to the sub-par CGI effects seen in most low-price b-movies of a similar budget, that’s for sure.

Many of the monster attacks are shot in a very similar fashion, with the suitmation actor (Brandon Wheeler) shoving the costume’s shark head against the current victim’s neck, as blood is pumped everywhere. Though the results are samey, they are bloody, and there’s the occasional disembowelment of a victim added to the mix too.

GRAVEYARD SHARK is, without a doubt, a shoddy, cheapo production, which leaps at any chance to include some nekkid flesh and includes a lot of crass ‘humorous’ chat about going down on mermaids. But the film does end with a fight between the rubbery Graveyard Shark and a fuzzy werewolf! Yes, you read that correctly: it turns out that Greg is actually a man-wolf! This monster suit showdown is slapdash and, of course, pretty enjoyable, with the werewolf costume’s yellow-green eyes glowing so brightly they sometimes look like twin torch beams shining in the mist! So I kinda liked this flick anyway – sue me!